One of the last conversaations that I had with Ariel went like this:
"Ariel, BREATH. Just breath. Just get to the next hour, then make it to the night and breath. One day at a time. Just Breath."
It sure is a different story when you have to follow your own advice. This morning I could hear my words... Only this time it wasn't me speaking them. It was Ariel "Aunt Nita, Just BREATH."
As my emotions engulfed me and I didn't know what to do when my phone rang.
It was Aunt Lois. This is Andys Aunt from Chicago. This phone call came out of the blue in my blues.
She was was taking off guard by my weepy voice. She was trying to convince me to get out of the house. I knew she was right but I didn't know where to go. We chatted for a few minutes and I was treading water no longer feeling like I was drowning.
Almost directly after hanging up with "Aunt Lois" my phone chimes in again. This time it was "Jeremiah"
He text messaged me. "Jeremiah" and his wife "Maria" were Ariel's youth pastor and wife. We are close to them and they are very broken up from this.
His words are encouraging and kind.
I sat on the couch with my bible on my lap and felt the waters calm all around me. God heard me. He heard me!
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
There is a great story that I was reminded of today when I felt God show himself through people. Check it out: God will you save me?
I got ready like I promised "Aunt Lois" and headed out the door. I had a list of things that have been neglected and pushed to the side for a couple weeks now that needed to get done.
The sun was shining out. "Even the sun is shining Anita." I thought to myself.
As I drove out of the driveway I thought "Will I ever feel happiness again? "Will there be a genuine Smile I can share?"
"Even the sun shines again."
Nothing stays the same. The seasons change, the days hold a new sky and the waters are never still.
So I thought " I will smile again."
"I will laugh again"
But not right now. And that is OK. This is a rough season but the sun will shine again.
The day was so beautiful it convinced me to see how the old legs would feel for a easy run. I needed to get them moving. The warm air is my element of comfort. It feels like I am being held in the arms of God. The warmth of the sun against my skin is soothing and peaceful.
After running a big race you have to give your body time to recover.
Your body recovers a whole lot different then your heart.
Ariels Dad is looking for anyone he can SUE. It is disgusting. He went and got the car and is storing it for evidence.
Ariel would just flip out if she saw what he is doing. He is putting all his money and time into trying to collect on her death. It is just disgusting.
Him of ALL people.
He didn't even pay child support. He didn't even co sign for that car, Charlies DAD did!
UGH.. He contributed nothing but tears and heartache in that poor girls life. Ohh the tears I saw her cry. Yes, people deserve second chances but to do this??? People are so motivated by money and things. People invest more work to collect things than they invest in people.
I do not understand it. It is going to get ugly. He is looking for any loop hole he can find to get as much money as he can.
He is putting all his money into a lawyer while there is no headstone on Ariel's grave. He is paying to tow the car and store it while there is still thousands of dollars still owed on her funeral bill. People are out doing Fundraiser to pay the cost and he is counting on all that money. Horrible simply horrible. ....Call me Mara.
IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE??? Or am I crazy???