"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, Who is in you, Whom you have received from God? ... So use every part of your body to give glory back to God..." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Hostage to Addiction.

After opening in prayer, I welcome everyone, introduce myself and then do a icebreaker.
"Hi, I would like to do a Go Around, Please say your name, how you feel on a scale of 1-10 and who brought you here this evening."
The Group is Families United by Faith. I have lead it for almost 10 years now. It is a support group for family and friends who are struggling with a loved one in addiction.

Most "new comers" can hardly say their name.
These family members are broken. Broken physically, emotionally and often financially.

I went to meetings for years out at Brighton. As a child, I remember going to meetings with my mom, she went in her meeting and I went in mine.

As an adult child of an alcoholic, I have some character defects that have haunted me for years. Most of the time I can manage them, many of them don't harm others, they hurt me.

Living with addiction we find ourselves isolating. We become so insecure and afraid people will judge us or hurt us with their words. Support often is more hurtful than helpful, therefore we crawl into ourselves alone.

Our soul is beaten down. We live in constant fear and confusion. "If our loved one loved us, why can't they stop?"
"Don't they see what they are doing to themselves and the family."

We cling to any good moment or conversation, carrying it around like a Golden Nugget. When the reality is there is really nothing good about it, the Golden Nugget really isn't anything more than a Golden Turd. But we hope and we pray and we try so hard to make the best in the worst..

  • Over 230 million drug users worldwide.
  • 14.3 American purchase drugs online.
  • In 2012, a National survey reported 23.9 million American over 11 had used illicit drugs.
  • Emergency Room visits for overdoses or drug relations is up 100's of 1000's.
  • Baltimore, Maryland is the Heroin Capital of America.
  • 100 Americans die every day from overdosing.
  • Overdosing is now the LEADING cause of accidental death in the U.S.
  • In Palm Beach, Fl. 70% of addicts are MEN. 58% are over 40 AND 58% is from Prescription Drugs.
  • Heroin and Morphine account for over 51% of all drug overdoses and deaths.
Addiction used to be described as a blue collar problem. NOT True. Most addicts comes from upper middle class families. This is one of the biggest reason families do not seek help. Shame.

There is NO Shame. Addiction is NOT prejudice. All shapes, all sizes, all financial statuses, all professions, no professions, all ages, all races and all religions. It steals the smart, the beautiful and the talented. It doesn't matter how big or how bad you are, Addiction is not choosy.

Addiction leads to 3 places:
  1. The Big house.
  2. The White House
  3. The Box
God has gifted me with a soft spot for both families and the addict. We all are in Bondage.
When Andy and I were in New York last year I really struggled. I witnessed so many people strung out. Some homeless, some beautiful, some wealthy but all wasted.
I watched this gorgeous girl try to wave down a cab. She had come out of some shady apartments. She was so strung out she could hardly stand up.
My heart skipped beats. I wanted to grab her, hold her, love her...

I have been on the judgmental end. Where you can hear people whispering about you or your loved one. It is a stabbing pain. It hurts. No one knows what you are going through until they walk in your shoes. And even then, we are all different. Many people think they need to share their expert advice, and they suddenly think they are Dr. Drew.
It is hard to trust anyone, after all, we can't even trust our loved one anymore.

You hear about programs all the time for addicts. But us Family Members are need of support now more than ever.
No Shame.
A study said that if family members got help and went to meetings that their loved ones had a better chance of recovery. The meetings teach us how we can start taking care of ourselves again.
  • Teaches how to forgive
  • Teaches how to lovingly detach
  • Teaches acceptance
  • Teaches being supportive and not custodial

And so many other things. I personally learned to quit taking it personal.
Learning to give it to God was a huge step for me. In the middle of chaos, you wonder where God is?
You question God like Job.
The healthier I got the more the fog lifted. It was then that I saw how much God really was there for me.

Are you struggling?
Are You an ACOA?
I am here for you in love.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

The Dangers of being a Runner.

The Letter "J"
Jesus, January, Jama     

  Jesus replied: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'" Matthew 22:37  

January- short days, cold, dreary and time to look into the training plan. Play time is over.
Jama- Met Jama almost 2 years ago from the running club that I coached. I use that term loosely. More like, encouraged, motivated, challenged and shared my experience.


"Anita, don't you run outside... Do you run in the dark?" Sandra asked me as I walked into church. She had one of those looks that you are not sure if you are in trouble or not.
"AHH..Yeah..." I replied with hesitation.
With a concerned look on her face, she gives me the details of 2 occasions this week she almost hit a runner.  Each time was different in details but the same in emotion: paralyzing fear.
  • First incident, the runner had reflectors, a blinking light and was running towards traffic.
  • Second incident, the runner only had reflectors on the back of the pants, was running WITH traffic and no lights.
  • Both runners were wearing black.
Here was the big issue with BOTH. Sandra was BLINDED by the oncoming traffic lights which prevented her from seeing the runners both times. Their black outfits meshed into the dark back roads.

Both runners ended up in the snow banks on the back roads. Crippled with sudden panic she stopped the car to let the runners go.

I know when I lace my shoes up, hit start on my Garmin and point my feet down the road, that it could be my last time. Maybe that's why I pray so much!
I have almost been hit so many times I quit counting. I have watched accidents happen feet next to me, I have had to stay to take a police report from an accident that should have killed me. I have watched my life before my eyes, as I have crumbled to the ground in terror of almost being hit. I have had people deliberately scare me, people throw things out their windows at me, people follow me, scream at me and people never even see me. I once had a woman pull out of her apartments without looking.  I was in front of her vehicle and she pushed me unto Dixie Hwy. I pounded and pounded on her hood. The lady then in horror began to scream at ME. I shook my finger at her "Ma'am, YOU were NOT LOOKING." She pulled in front of me and apologized.

Runners every year die.
It doesn't mean that runners are careless or irresponsible.

However, as a runner speaking to Sandra was another reminder we need to take extra precautions.

When RUNNING in the DARK:
  • Run into oncoming traffic, this helps you to respond quicker when you see what's coming at you.
  • Wear a head lamp or carry some type of light.
  • Wear reflectors, reflector vest ect.
  • Save black clothing for the daylight
  • Don't wear headphones
  • Remember, what is obvious to you isn't as obvious to others.
The Rundown:
Distance: 6 miles
Great day for a outside run. I was in my glory! It must have been "Wave at a runner" day today. I had so many people wave at me.  On my way back home, a black Lincoln was stopped waiting for me. I knew that big smile a mile away, Michelle E. Chatting with her was interrupted when we realized we had blocked the driveway to a local business. I smiled all the way home. It was hard not to, it was so stunning out.

Anyone else starting their marathon training this week??
What your long run??


Monday, January 26, 2015


Todays Letter is "I"
"I have self-doubt. I have insecurity. I have fear of failure. I have nights when I show up at the arena and I'm like, 'My back hurts, my feet hurt, my knees hurt. I don't have it. I just want to chill.' We all have self-doubt. You don't deny it, but you also don't capitulate to it. You embrace it."
 Kobe Bryant
Indian Springs: Favorite place to run
INSECURITY- The voices in your head that say you are not good enough, strong enough, pretty enough, capable of, acceptable.... The clatter in your mind that screams at you, confuses you, dismembers you and often derails your.
Sometimes it whispers, sometimes it is like white noise that never stops nagging and other times it is loud and proud.
When it comes to training, many of us struggle just going to a gym. We walk in and think we are out of our league. We watch other people training and find ourselves comparing.
Insecurity is dangerous. It hates to see you victorious. It likes you less than mediocre. Insecure is a sheep in wolves clothes.
I find myself entertain conversations with this evil. I respond, I try to argue my way out, I know that the words are all wrong but I bite. Then I chew. Then I swallow. It is harder to recover from a mouthful of Insecurity than it is to Overcome the lies that it feeds me.
Why do we let the LIES over power the TRUTH.
Only to the lies then become our TRUTH.
We don't set goals.
We quit trying to reach our goals.
We change our plans and often find ourselves bowing out, never really coming near the mark.
Because we listen to the corrupt talk.
So many of my runs are challenged by the voices. I hate that I talk back to them. It truly is psychotic.
But Overcoming them is IMPOWERING.
Take time to listen to yourself. Honestly LISTEN to yourself think, converse, respond to the voices in your head. The inner coach. We all have a Good Coach that wants us to have victory and the BAD Coach that coaches us to defeat.
The Good Coach is going to give you great and mighty things, but you are going to work for it. That is why we always listen to the Bad Coach. The Bad Coach lets you carouse through life with little effort. Just passing time. Not a lot of sacrifice, pain or disappointment. You might get discouraged with yourself but he makes you accept it and move on to Blahh.
I was talking to someone today who has been listening to the Bad Coach.
"Anita, I hate reading you posts on Facebook, everything always seems so happy." She then continues. "..But I know you have been through some terrible things, you have some great experiences, I have no experiences..."
I love this person dearly. She told me that she realized I have had it hard. I don't talk about everything on my Facebook or even in my blog. She had created the world I live in according to her. I then challenged her to walk in my shoes, sharing some VERY private moments, some horrible hurt that I struggle with. She lovingly replied. "I never thought about that, That is not at all what I thought happened..." This is what happens when we compare ourselves to others. We listen to lies, create scenarios, and then isolate. We hurt others and we hurt ourselves in the process, living a life of defeat and negativity.
With great experience comes great pain, sacrifice and overcoming.
Ephesians 6:10-20                     
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.
Christ is my Great Coach. Often times people think that a smile all I have. Or people who smile do not have a worry in the world. Like I told this person. My life is NOT a bed of roses. I try very HARD to be transparent with out being creepy.
My Security comes from Christ. Its Ok what people think of me, believe about me.
Every time you overcome another obstacle life challenges you with, you will find yourself becoming more and more secure.
Every time you overcome fear and go out in faith, you will find yourself becoming more and more secure.
Every time you do the right thing in the wrong situation you will find yourself becoming more and more secure.
Every time you quit sitting at the table with Insecurity you will find yourself more secure in who you were designed to be.
The Rundown:
Distance: TM- 5 miles
15 minutes of legs.
Congrats to RACHEL D for winning the CONTEST!!

Sunday, January 25, 2015

The Letter "H"

HOKA'S, Hungerford. Heaven, Hebrews. Harless, Half
My one and only Ultra!
Heavens Dr.


Hebrews: Run the RACE!

Just a few of the pics to go with the words.

I will announce the winner tomorrow, but if you are reading this you already KNOW!

Thursday, Danielle reminded me our Marathon training started this weekend. It was the reminder that lovingly hits you in the teeth.
To bring in the training, I decided a 10 miler would be my official KICK OFF. I had been building a base the last couple weeks. I have been more consistent my running.
Around and around and around the track I went.
At the 5 mile mark, I was already looking for a trap door to sneak out of the 10 mile goal.
"Well, just slow down."
"Add walk breaks."
"Switch it up, go to the treadmill."
As the 7 mile marker approached, I started praying.
"Please God, give me that supernatural stamina, Keep me strong mentally and physically."
I knew it was a mental game, however,  my body was feeling the physical suck of it all.
It takes everything you have and everything you don't have, to move in a direction that is challenging. I have not ran 10 miles since last NOVEMBER.
I began to question myself. I found myself listening the Doubt and Fear more than Faith and Hope.
I wouldn't have set a GOAL that I knew was unachievable. I made it to mile 8 and thought, I could quit right now.
I even thought "When you get to 8 miles, bring it WAY down and even walk it in."
Except 8 miles passed and so did the defeating thoughts.
It was like God himself said "You GOT this, Yes, it is going to hurt, but You Got this." His voice was so loud and proud in my head.
I didn't even slow down. I just had to hold on another 17 minutes. I prayed more.
The air was cold in the gym. My legs were numb. My knees were getting heavy, but I could quit. As long as I was breathing, I was running.
The more I wanted to quit, the more I wanted to succeed.
Distance: 10.20 miles
Time: 1:23
3.10.06 (extra lap!)
Average Pace: 8:15 and It already feels like I have a toenail ready to fall off!!
A small reminder that marathon training is starting for BAYSHORE Marathon. If anyone is running this, we are training together. If anyone is training for a SPRING Marathon, we are training together. We will all embrace the slap in the face together!
Who is Running a Spring Marathon?? Which ONE?

Friday, January 23, 2015

"G"..Can You Guess what words I might use??


"G" is the word of the day!
Genesys, Goats, Garmin, Gaffe,Giveaway

Genesys Athletic Club: I LOVE my GYM.

GOATS: I love these creatures..I think they love me!
GARMIN:My best running partner, now carried at Kohls!
My Run with Danielle at Indian Spring.
GAFFE: A Noticable Mistake.
Danielle and I ran at Indian Spring. I was struggling the whole time. I could blame it on my 7 miler with Lacey, however, I was struggling. Danielle lead the way like a Gazelle. When we finished this is what I noticed when I took my Yak Trax off.
Are you noticing anything missing?? I wore them INSIDE OUT..a noticeable mistake. I couldn't figure out why I couldn't get any traction.
Danielle and I had an interesting conversation. "What is the effort level running outside in the cold in comparison to running outside in warmer weather and no snow.

I found this chart on the website listed below. Great read, check it out:


I have one last "G"...GIRL SCOUT COOKIES. I am in so much trouble. I just preordered 5 boxes..
or 6. I am not sure. I know those are just what I preordered...We will knock those out in a week.

Good Grief!

It is simple..
  1. You have to follow my blog. SUBSCRIBE!!!!!!!
  2. Leave your "H" word on either my Facebook page, Twitter Page or Instagram. WHEN I post The Question..So you will want to follow for a brand new pair of 7.5 HOKAS.
  3. LOOK FOR THIS QUESTION IN THE NEXT 2 DAYS ON ONE OF THESE...Can you guess what letter "H" words I am going to use??     I will pick 5. "Hokas" is a freebee for everyone!
  4. Contest ends SUNDAY NIGHT when I post the answers on my blog.

For 2015 I will be doing a lot more contests and give aways. Best way to win is to stay connected!
Subscribe to my blog so you will be the first to find out when I will be doing a contest.


Wednesday, January 21, 2015

The "F" word..Family and Forgiveness

F is the Letter of the DAY! Which is FUNNY because I just won a contest with the Oakland Press. You had to answer "What is one thing or way you have  overcome a FEAR?
I guess I made the Oakland Press this Sunday and 2 tickets to the Professional Bull Rider show at Joe Louis.

F: Family, Faith, Finish, Forgivenss

The snow came down without a pause. Out of the hold of the sky I wondered how much more was left in the hands of the holder.
In all its beauty, Fear of it's awe was at the surface. 
How could something so pure and majestic cause such destruction?
It was no doubt a Gym day. Mom and I cleaned Maw Maws house early. There are a few things every week I look forward to and seeing Maw Maw is one of those occasions.
I picked up Lacey to spoil her for the day. I wanted to take her to the athletic club.
When Lacey walked in she was like a kid in a candy store. As I spoke to her about what the gym offered she was out in left field soaking it up and taking it in.
My Schedule for us:
  1. Locker room to drop off bags, get towels, and get going
  2. Roll, stretch 10 minutes
  3. TRACK 70 minutes
  4. The cage, roll, stretch 5-10 min
  5. Cold Plunge: 15 minutes
  6. Hot tub: 5 minutes
  7. Shower:
  8. Sauna: to warm up, still cold from the cold plunge!
Distance: 7 miles
We ran 1 mile W/U then the next 5 miles we added a fartlek on the 3rd lap. 7th mile cool down @ 8min mile.
Great Run, Lotta fun.
A Little Piece of Me: Forgivenss
It was a rough night. I have no idea what happened. My good friend Terri asked me for prayers today because she was struggling with her teenager. I had no Idea that I should have asked for prayers too.
Austin, had a melt down on the way home from basketball and Alec flipped his lid on the way to basketball.
I lost my temper with Austin. I heard him speaking to me in a language that was foreign. I knew the language but I forgot the pain. I wanted to knock his teeth in. I found myself having an out of body experience. I tried and tried to remain calm and show wisdom but then like a carbonated drink being shook, I just exploded. I am not Mother of the year by any means. I hate seeing myself out of control.
I settled down and told Austin to go to his room, repeatedly. I could tell he was being fueled by the emotion that had erupted on both parties.
He is so much like me it is frightening. I hurt for him.
30 minutes later as I was putting the finishing touches on dinner he stood so tall in the hall. He looked down at me with blood shot eyes and remorse. "Mom, is it too late to say I am sorry."
Again, my heart hurt for him. Taking a second to think of the right words, He continued "Mom, You didn't deserve to wait for me for 20 minutes and you didn't deserve the things that I said to you...."
"Thank you Austin, I forgive you, I am sorry I lost my temper, I love you."
We just stared at each other.
"Mom, you wanna give me a hug?"
"Ha ha, You should be giving me a hug."
And with tears in my eyes, Austin wrapped those big arms around me.
Parenting is the hardest thing I have ever done. It gives so many rewards and so many regrets. There is no guarantee to good parenting. But you just never stop. I thank God my kids ask for forgiveness and I thank God my kids forgive me.
I am far from perfect and I also Thank God he humbles me and reminds me "My righteousness is of filthy rags."

Monday, January 19, 2015

Who Are You Pacing off??

E is for Essentials and Example,
Essentials: These are the things that make my run go smoother: Lip balm, gum, watch and Ipod
Example: "Be Ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ." 1Cor 11:1

Walking into the athletic club is humbling. I feel so miniscule in comparison to all the beauty and beasts that troll the equipment and facilities. Insecurity keeps me coming back for more oddly enough.  It reminds me that I am secure in HIM and He has blessed me.
Knowing that my body is just a breath away from injury is always a humbling visit as well. I head directly upstairs to roll and stretch.
As I head towards the double glass doors to the track and upstairs to the smaller gym, a woman catches my eye. She is about my age, my build and moving briskly to the track. Without skipping a beat, she sets her feet on the track, hits her watch and bolts. "WOW, she didn't roll, stretch or even say a prayer!" I found myself slightly envious. "She just took off!"
Turning green with envy, I headed upstairs pouty to do my pre-run ritual.
Coming unto the track I can see her. Her dark hair is short and spikey. I have seen her at the gym before. I try to catch her eye and shoot her a smile but fail, she flies past me. "Well, I don't think I am going to catch up to that." I thought as I set my water bottle and phone in the cubbies. I lines up with the clock, hit the start button on my watch and did my own take off.
My first mile was going to be a warm up, except before I even made it one lap around she flies past me.
"SERIOUSLY?" I felt like someone had just pulled my plug before I even had a chance to light up. Then to add injury to insult she turned her head back towards me.
"Oh NO, I am going to ride this one in if it kill me." I picked my pace up.
I stayed about 150 meters behind her. I hung out in her shadows. Every couple minutes, she would turn around to find me. I wanted to wave but my body wanted to die, I was lucky to just breath. "FOCUS Anita" My pace was nothing I wasn't capable of, I had to remind my body this wasn't its first rodeo. Arguing with fatigue, I never took my eyes off her. And she knew it. She would slow down, turn around, see me, then speed back up. Sassy little thing.
Her pace was altering like my breathing. The gap was closing between us as I came to mile three. I was trying to figure out if I should pass her. I could tell she was struggling. He posture was changing and her left hip was dragging. "No Anita, stay right where your at." She moved over to the walk lane and quit directly across from the 3 mile marker.

I was running a 7:45 pace. I wanted to run 7 miles, yet I hadn't even made it to 3 miles. My lungs were burning, but my body felt good.  Here lies the challenge. Do I continue at this pace or do I slow down?? I felt good now but I wasn't even HALF way through my run. What if I fail, hurt myself or puke and die?

Check the RUNDOWN to see how I finished.

Tips on Pacing off others:
  1. Run your own Race: Be careful not to get too competitive and end up injured.
  2. Have a Plan BEFORE you pace off others and stick close to it.  
  3. If someone helped you run better, stronger, or faster take a minute and let them know. Most likely they knew you were pacing off them anyhow. You could end up with a new running partner!
  4. When pacing off others try and concentrate on your form. If you see them slouching remind yourself to run strong and upright. By watching others' form you can hold your running form accountable.  
  5. Try not to be a nuisance. If you think you are annoying the person in front of you then be courteous and back off a few feet. No one wants to hear heavy breathing in their ears unless it is their own. And most of us don't like to even hear our own breathing!

Full Circle:
Pacing off others outside of running is equally as important. Unless you have "Arrived" most of us are always striving to be a better person.
I have my eyes on several people that I Pace Off:
  1. With Finances: My Girlfirend Lisa. She did the Dave Ramsey course and I really respect how well she and her husband manage their money.
  2.  Godly Woman: My Girlfriend Kimberly P.  She  is soft spoken and yet a sweet firecracker. She lives life with honesty. She is not afraid to proclaim Christ and lives to honor HIM in ALL she says and does. This takes great courage in todays world. She is not Wishy Washy in her walk. I have watched her grow so much the last few years. I love pacing off her.
  3.  Encourager and Motivator: Jeff B. He doesn't know it but he is like a secret coach to me. He is always offering me great advice and running tips. He is honest and encouraging.
  4. Hard worker and disciplined: Danielle, my running partner. She is like clock work when it comes to getting up every morning and doing her work out routine. She works hard at all she does and maintains a very good attitude. Danielle balances me when I get to excited about issues.
  5. Support and Love. Hands down Andy's mom and dad. They actually are so supportive and loving it is almost to a fault. I am reminded daily how much they support not just Andy and I but many others. They give love unconditionally. They would rather show you love and get hurt by the choices they don't agree with then not give love and feel like they shut the door on you. They are trying to work on this. They are just the most loving people I know.
There are many many others that I Pace Off of in Life. People that do not know that I am watching them and taking notes.
  • Sometimes we have to back off when we can see that we are no longer running with the same agenda.
  •  Sometimes they are moving at hyperspeeds that we are just capable of.
  • Sometimes they are moving slower that we thought and we have to move past them.

I followed through with my 7 miles. I told  myself on that last mile that I should do a cool down, only after the second lap at slower pace I changed my mind and decided to finish strong.
I ran the first mile as a warm up, the following 6 miles I stayed within seconds of 7:45! 4
of my miles I hit 7:45!

Overall, we have to keep in mind they we need to RUN our OWN RACE. God set others around us to build and grow from. To edify and encourage one another along the way.

Remember too that most likely some one is Pacing Off of YOU.  Be the best You "you" can be.