"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, Who is in you, Whom you have received from God? ... So use every part of your body to give glory back to God..." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Sunday, July 15, 2018

My issues with Pain.

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Romans 12:12

My client Laurie came in this past week. I love listening to my clients, they become like family to me.
Laurie asked about my running. This always makes me smile.
As I shared some interpersonal thoughts on my running, more the testimony of my running and nothing really about my miles or races, she shared HER outlook on my running.

I always try to explain that my running is deeper than putting miles in to people. Laurie commented that my running helps to show that you don't quit. She added much more details to her thoughts but in a nutshell that was her thoughts.

Yes, Yes. It is human nature to look at "ANITA Running" and roll your eyes or think, "Ah, that's all she does…"
But to some they see a different picture.

Today, I ran on the trails alone at Holdridge. It took everything in me to wade through the obnoxious voices of defeat.
Seriously, with only a mile in the temperatures were well over 80'. My skin was slick with sweat dripping in all corners.
Loud panting heaved from my chest as I WALKED up the hills. My ears sounding like a drum solo, my heart was beating so heavy.
IT WAS AWFUL.
I couldn't convince myself that running in the heat was one of my better ideas. HOWEVER, I did smirk knowing that I had cheated this long run. I met lacey at 7am and together we ran 7 miles.
I just had to make it out of the trails at 9.5 miles.

"Why am I suffering?" I asked myself, the same question I ask myself all the time.
I never want to forget what Pain feels like. You can not be an Overcomer if you do not experience Pain.
Part of me feels like I deserve Pain. How will I ever know what I am made of or capable of if I take the easy train?
We have gotten so lazy and complacent. We don't want to feel pain and avoid it at all cost.
Running brings that suffering to the table again.

Today I was lonely. Grieving. Loss. So much loss. I pushed myself up the hills whispering "Up, Up Nita, all the way up."
It hurt so bad as the blood left my legs leaving them feeling like dead limbs.

The woods were so hot. I felt like I was running in a oven. The air was still, thick and stagnant.
I told myself to just get to the next mile marking.
Little goals to break up my agony.

The pain life brings us doesn't have trail signs or maps. There is no path mapped out for us to navigate ourselves through the anguish and turmoil life presents.

And often times we will see danger signs but look for escape routes. This does not dispose the hurt, pain, or discomfort, it often only prolongs it or allows it to gain momentum, tripping us up later down the road even worse.

Further into my run my body began to have little twinges. Knee aches, sore feet, silly little things. These only gave me fuel to persevere. Pain was relative. I had suffered with deep inclines and steep declines, my eyes were stinging from the sweat and I had made it through fatigue and fear. I had managed my pain and with the end of my run just a little bit further I knew these were just mild annoyances.
I was confident through my Pain I would overcome.


My challenge to you is to feel the pain. But Don't Quit. Whether it is the struggle of being a parent, or the loss of a beloved or maybe it is trying to get healthy and active, Just FEEL IT.
Be courageous and make your move. There is purpose in your pain but you must persevere to find out.

Anita

Thursday, July 12, 2018

My Exciting News.

My idea of exciting news is probably not your idea of exciting news.

No, I didn't win the lottery, I'm too broke to buy a ticket.
No, my money tree in the backyard did not start yielding fruit.
No, I am not the next contestant on the Price is Right.

Yes, it pertains to a little dream I have had...
I have a wish list of races and marathons that I want to run (As long as I can still run).
One of these marathons is a lottery and voted one of the best marathons to run by Runners World.
Marine Corp Marathon.
Sadly, it is really hard to get into. CRAZY though, because my Sister-in-Law put both her and my brother in the lottery and BAM! They BOTH were selected!
My brother called me up in a tail spin when he found out several weeks ago. . He was in a panic on what he was going to do.
I, of course was like..."AHH, give it to ME! I'll run it with Leeanne!"
That was not really an option. This would be Leeannes FIRST marathon!

From that moment, I was on a mission. I put my name in several different social media sites and even succumbed to the idea of doing a charity for Woman in Burma, I would only have to raise 550$. That seemed doable.

I am part of a local running club site that shared a post looking for someone to transfer their MCM registration.
It had posted 2 days prior and I knew it would be snatched up.
I private messaged the guy and gave him my sob story. I explained that I really wanted to run this marathon but I didn't get in. And to make matters worse, my brother and sister-in-law got in and I would LOVE to be there and run with them. I explained that no matter what I was already planning on going out there to support them but it would be awesome if I could run it with them.
HE REPLIED " it is yours if you want it. Transfer opens on Wednesday".
He continued adding after I told him it was a "dream come true for me to be there for my brother and his wife..." saying "That is great that you will be doing it with them to support them. I love the MCM.....I am glad it is going to a good cause...."
This really is a DREAM come true. More than running MCM, running with my family. Leeanne has always been so supportive and encouraging to me. I cant wait to be there for her. Now, I am just hoping she is as excited as I am! 




My Weekly Rundown;
Sunday: Backroads
15 miles

Monday: Trails, Holly Rec. & Holdridge North loop
21miles

Wednesday: Roads
7 miles

Thursday: Trails, Holly Rec Wilderness loop x 3.
18 miles

TOTAL Miles: 61 miles
I am shocked to add that number up. I didn't know I put in that many miles, this explains why I feel like a slug and was breathing like death on the trail today.

In Other News...
MCM was NOT the only amazing thing that happened to me this week. I also won "MEET and GREET" passes to see my favorite musician, David Crowder. 
David Crowder signing my shirt! I was like a school girl. I dressed ridiculous to catch his eye during the concert...it worked. That and the fact that I was one of the only ones standing up and acting like a baffoon while everyone else was sitting. You only live once. 




Love Yourself,
because you are amazing.
Never Quit,
because dreams are worth it and success isn't easy.
Enjoy the Little Things,
they make big differences.
Live for the Adventure,
because you only live once.
Give yourself Grace,
no ones perfect, mistakes are part of the process. 

The words I wrote on a graduation card. #truth

Anita


Monday, July 9, 2018

Grudges..Long run thoughts

I really don't go around trying to make enemies or get people mad at me but I have a gift for doing it.
It is always so funny when I hear how people describe me, as if they really know me.

Being an extrovert for me is like being a bull in a China shop. I can really leave a trail wherever I go.

I could do an autobiography on the things that I have heard people say about me. People that love me, people that know me, people that don't know me and of course people that could care less for me.

HOWEVER....
At the end of the day, most days anyways I try to let it go. I still hear those words of that person who spoke ill  about me, and they still hurt but I really try NOT to let it break me.

THIS week was a week of checking myself. I had a couple encounters allowing me to see where my heart was.

Todays long run proved to be more valuable than just a training run. It was about 4 hours of doing MY inventory regardless of those that have taken my inventory for themselves.

Seriously, when is the last time you were in your head for any length of time? Not a place many of us like to travel, camping out in our personal mind madness.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32


Just be kind. Respond in Love. Don't post your issues all over social media calling people out or responding to bad behavior. 
LET IT Go. 
If you have nothing nice to say...Don't say Anything.
Give second chances, or third or fourth. 
Build a bridge and Get Over it. 

I literally have a Hate Club. But I have learned that I can only do what I can do to mend bridges and at the end of the day they have the problem not me. If I have done everything in my power to make it right just shy of compromising myself or being a doormat then I have to LET IT GO.

For me "Letting it Go" doesn't mean it doesn't rear its ugly head emotionally every once in a while because it does.
And somtimes it takes a 4 hour run to let the emotions sift.
But it feels good at then end of the day to know I am not holding grudges.

RUNDOWN:
Distance: 21 miles

Claudia met me for accountability and motivation at 6:30am at Holly Rec. We took the first loop easy. This was my back to back run, yesterday Claudia and Lacey met me at 6:30am for 15 miles.
Claudia could only do 1 loop with me, that is why it was so important, I needed to be pushed.

My second loop, I put on bugs spray and tried to pick up my pace just a little bit more. I ate some trail mix and enjoyed a Starburst Claudia gave me.
The voices in my head were getting a bit unnerving as I ran. I prayed a lot asking God to help me work through several things.
I also made a deal with myself. GET through this 2nd loop and the last loop I could listen to music. A little treat.
As I came into my third loop, I was excited to turn on my tunes. I could smell myself and it was rather savage. Sweat mixed with DEET and saturated with evergreen and woodsy dirt funk. GROSS.
My water was getting low. I knew my 20oz bottle of water I put in my hydration pack would be gone before I was done.
But the music had my feet feeling fresh all over. My pace picked up. That last 6 miles I added some distance on the dirt road and ran most of the hills.
I came out with over 18 miles.

I had to run home and didn't have time to run that last couple miles.
I took care of my business at home washing up and changing my clothes to encourage me to finish my distance and it worked.
Holdridge has a 2 mile loop that is easy. It was slow, almost a hike but the tempertures were pushing 90' and I was just happy to get my legs to cooperate.

Let your grudges go. Life is too short.
Take time to actually listen to the voices in your head. Then rather than pointing fingers at everyone else Point them at YOURSELF and figure out what good is in you.
It is a beautiful feeling to not be angry at people, even when you think you are justified.



Monday, July 2, 2018

I didnt want to RUN.

With the weather in the high 80's I have been to the beach more than usual this summer. I LOVE the beach. Lacey knows I love the beach and has gotten me out there twice this week.
People watching has been the best.
At 44 years old, I am still tucking myself in a bikini. Of course I don't have the body I had in my 20's but I put my bathing skirt on covering my less than desirable middle age saddle bags and I make sure I have my favorite coverup with me as I drool at the perky butts on the beach.
Behind us I caught a glimpse of a very skimpy bikini. It wasn't really the small amounts of fabric that caught my eye as much as it was the rock hard buns glistening in the sun. I was so glad I had my dark Goodr's on as I just stared. "WOW! Lacey, check that out...." She had VERY  little fabric covering her perfectly round tush and she could have modeled those buns in a Athleta catalog.
"OH well Lacey, It is what it is..." We giggled at our middle aged mom bodies. We both work hard for what we have but neither of us have the energy to work any harder than we do.
Squats, lunges, even crunches these days are not consistent.
I have the same dimples I had when I was 9 months old, "Lacey, I am good with it...."

I do what I love, and I love what I do, RUN. But even this week I struggled wondering what the purpose was.
I questioned every fiber in me. My emotions got the best of me as a funk of dark matter seeped into me.
Defeat and discouragement swept over me. I thought about things foreign to me. I had a hard time even smiling. NUMB, I felt numb. And at the same time I was in a whirlwind of confusion.
I cried, I screamed, I hated who I saw.

The idea of doing anything more than running was never going to happen especially when even running seemed like something I didn't want to do.
Lightly, I shared a little with Lacey. "Anita, you need to run..."

"When my Spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way...." 
Psalm 142:3

She was right. Depression was making me want to quit, even quit the very thing I love. I didn't want to pray, I didn't want to talk, I didn't even want to RUN.

"Anita, I will be at your house at 6am and run an hour of your long run with you." 

I needed the help, the encouragement, the motivation.

20 miles today. I thought I was going to either NOT run it or run solo.
I was so happy when Lacey pulled into my driveway at 6am.
77' degrees out.
NO trails, No backroads, the Black Flies are satanic, blood sucking evil creatures.
This meant SUN.

With only a half of a cup of coffee in me and no breakfast we took off towards downtown Holly.
My legs felt heavy but good.
I breakfast, my belly cant eat that early.
The morning was thick with humidity making the sweat present itself quickly. But the sun stayed behind the trees making that first hour not too bad.
I was sad to see Lacey go. I ate a banana quickly and filled my handheld up with ice cubes.
Back at it for about 14 more miles.
I had my music in my ears, feeling more alive than I had in days.
Even though the temperatures were holding at about 78' degrees, I still had no direct sun and a gently breeze blessed me all the way down N. Holly rd.
Rachel set out an aid station for me. At mile 14ish, I was so excited to refill my water and swallow a salt tab.
I didn't want to stop too long. I quickly took back off and headed back home, less than 7 miles to go.
I knew I was running strong. I thanked God and tried not to cry. Undeserving, I felt humbled and unfit for such a great run.

Distance: 20 miles. 
Time: 3h:11min
Pace: 9:34min/mi

I have no idea where this run came from. It wasn't me! I was and am pretty stoked still! God is Good. 

Anita~

Monday, June 18, 2018

Mohican Trail 50 Mile Recap.

Photo courtesy @KeithK

Part of the adventure in running is pushing your body. Being depleted of everything.

For me it is very spiritual. I feel God, I hear God, I feel weak, vulnerable, fragile, feeble and so humbled.
It is the moment that lets me be reminded of how small I am. It is a welcomed humbling moment. To be modest and lowly.
To feel fear, to be diluted of security and self confidence.

Being in the elements of Gods canvas makes me feel so minuscule, a beautiful picture of Gods love for me. I look around and see everything HE created not polluted by man and in my mortal self I have nothing to aid me through His raw masterpiece.




MOHICAN Trail 50. 
Date: June 16-1-2018
Where: Ohio, Mohican State Park.
Start Time: 6am
Distances: 100, 50 and marathon. I registered for the 50.
Temperature: Starting temps 62' and HUMID

My alarm chimed at 3:30 am. 5 hours of sleep. I took one of Laceys "PM.s" to give me a little nudge to sleep the night before.
With only 1- 3minute snooze I snuck out of bed trying not to wake Lacey and Claudia.
Our 50 mile crew were heading out at 4:35am.
With an less than an hour I was able to get dressed, grab my drop bag and hydration pack. I enjoyed some of Paula's homemade banana bread and coffee for breakfast.
Paula, Lacey and Claudia got to sleep in, the marathon didn't start until 12.
I met Keith and Doug on Friday. Those two are running partners and stayed at our hotel too. I was in another league with Matt, Keith and Doug. I was hanging with the BIG DOGS. I was so nervous. I am just a pipsqueak in comparison.

MY GOAL: To get to Lacey and Claudia by NOON. At that point, I would drop my pace, take photos and have fun with the girls. So I thought.
1. 12 hour 50.
2. Sub 13.

It was still dark out when we arrived at the park. Time went by fast. We dropped off our drop bags, I had extra shoes, chaffing cream and clothes in mine.

I didn't know these guys very well, I took a chance and asked if I could say a quick prayer before we started. I could have prayed by myself but I wanted them to know that I was praying for them as well.
As we lined up with about 150 other runners the sun began peaking out. We were scheduled to have 90' weather but the morning temps were very pleasant resting at 62 degrees.
The four of us headed out together.

I felt great. I tucked in the middle of the guys hoping I could keep up and not destroy myself.  Mohican is made up of loops. I would be doing 2 loops. I needed to get through the first loop in under 6hours and I was concerned.

THE FIRST LOOP:
It was just a few minutes of running and the inclines began. About a mile in, I see runners snaking up a very large incline. The runners closer to the top looked smaller, making the lush structure more measurable and me more panicked!
The woods were beautiful with green foliage scattered on the foundation of the woods. Tall looming trees shaded us from the morning sun.

The four of us took off at a steady pace. I tried to look around when I could but the trail was entangled with so many tripping hazards.
The temperatures allowed us to run freely, joyfully even. We all conversed and joked with one another distracting ourselves from the never ending hills. The inclines and descents were NO JOKE. Roots creeped across a lot of the trail inviting each of us to a good tripping session.  I had to keep reminding myself to "PICK your FEET up".
The forest offered many different landscapes. From sections of towering pines to a dense forest, lush and saturated with vegetation it was stunning. We ran across a ridge that collapsed on both sides of you, this section was sobering. At one point,  we were face to face with the tree tops, I took a second to walk to the edge and look at nothing less than beautiful.

We ran through a section of massive rock structures. Water crossed all around us. We crossed over countless bridges listening to the gentle trickle of the river below us. We actually walked down a large staircase right into a waterfall. My heart melted, I was so overwhelmed with awe. I was breathless and not even running.


Because the Mohican trail is tucked so deep in this dense forest the humidity was unavoidable.
Within just a few hours we were all drenched in sweat. My skin was a slick, my tank top was saturated and the beginning stages of chaffing was inevitable.

The aid stations were set up about every 3-5 miles. The volunteers did a fabulous job taking care of you. Each aid station recited your bib number to another volunteer who wrote it all down.
I never had to ask for anything, the volunteers would take my hydration vest off me and fill my bladder, then place it back on me as I was grabbing food to eat. We didn't spend much more than a few minutes in each of the rest areas, eat, drink, and GO!
I nibbled on pickled beets, potato chips, pretzels and ICE. I drank water at each of the aid stations. I held Gatorade in my pack.

At about 4 hours of running I knew we were crushing it. I was giddy but realized I was WAY ahead of schedule to get to the second loop by 12. The last 2 miles of the loop the humidity was brewing. The trail finished through the camping area with steep hills and the downhills were wicked, deep crevices and large loose rocks threatened to break your ankles with no remorse.
And just when you think you have made it out unscathed you are spit out into the camp ground back up a deathly long hill made of gravel with the sun beating on you. My body quickly shut DOWN. "WALKING" I yelped more than once through this mile stretch.

When we arrived at the aid station, finishing out our first loop my time said 5:22. I had almost 40 minutes to kill.
Lacey was waiting for me at the picnic table with the rest of the guys. She looked at me and knew. Like she was part of me. She quickly took my hydration pack off. She was assessing me and taking care of me in ways I didn't know I needed.
My back was chaffed from my sweat soaked tank. Shamelessly, I removed it and went with only my sports bra.
I guzzled water and chewed on my ice cubes. The ice was getting really low and was getting hard to find. Most of us runners were so overheated that the ice was being put in our pack, our handhelds and wrapped in towels to cool us off.

The guys took off with the clock ticking. I was still trying to work on my plan. I had 20 minutes. I decided I would grab food and take it with me. I would leave before the girls and get a head start on them. I knew that if I stopped too long I would start cramping up and the girls would be running on fresh legs and catch up to me soon.

SECOND LOOP: 
The problem with the second loop is I remembered the impending sufferfest just ahead of me.
I looked up at that first massive hill, said a couple choice words and dug my heals in, another 6hours to go.
About 4 miles into my run the girls caught up to me at the aid station. It was perfect timing.
We laughed, enjoying the sights, the sounds, the smells and the emotion of it all.
We came into a aid station only to discover that our company was to be split up again. The marathoners seperated into a 5 mile loop and I went to the right to run a 2 1/2 mile loop solo. I told Lacey I would meet her at the next aid station. That was my hopes.

In the next 2 1/2 miles, I wouldn't see ANOTHER person. The forest got very dark and treacherous. It was as if I was running in the middle of a dried up river bank that cut deeply into the earth. Sharp rocks made footing very difficult.
My quads were FIRING hatred at me. I took my time and took in the wonderous canvas surrounding me. A small river ran along side me with fallen trees and multiple bridge crossing. The river bed had massive stones scattered across mixed with thick vegetation and soaring trees.
Magnificent. My physical was was so trivial. THIS is what I run for. THIS Anita. This is worth all the pain, all the sweat, this is a treasure chest available to those who want to suffer.

I ran across the covered bridge down into the aid station. I knew I would be here a while waiting for the girls. It was a opportunity to regroup. Each of the girls came in separately.

As soon as Claudia and Lacey arrived and refreshed we took off again together.
The three of us were all struggling in our own way but cruising at a good steady pace.

Suddenly, with about 9 miles to go Lacey dropped off to the side of the trail.
Her sugar suddenly dropped.
Claudia didn't know we had dropped back but I could hear her "MARCO". I responded "POLO" hoping she would continue on.
She was running great and I was so excited for her. She kept moving.
It took Lacey about 40 minutes to recover. She is a tough cookie.

With about 5 miles to go, we were moving steady again. My strengths were her weaknesses and vise versa. We really challenged and supported each other.

I already knew how this trail would finish. It was not going to be pretty. My stomach was turned inside out. Every pounding of my foot, my belly churned.

We came out of the woods into the camp ground and took a wrong turn. I missed the turn. Thankfully a runner had enough energy to scream loud enough to get us turned back around!

We could see the finish, the sun beat down on us, the heat of the evening was almost suffocating but we moved forward together.
We crossed that finish line together.

Time: 12:43



Thank You everyone that have called me, text me and checked on me. LOVE you all.

Anita
My back chaffed and only healed worse.


Thursday, June 7, 2018

Dream on: BoyWonder

My college son is home for the summer. He is a crazy Boy that Austin.
When he came home from college he had a couple goals.
  1. To "Get Lean" run over the summer, run a bit
  2. Work, A lot. 
He has been working a lot but the running, not so much. 
A few days ago I asked him if he would run "Wings of Mercy" 5k with me. I HATE 5K's. I never catch my breath, constantly feeling like I am going to keel over and die. 
He said "NO". 

I wasn't that surprised. But I am the continual optimist. I always keep a little HOPE in my pocket. 

***********
It was a beautiful day to hit the trails. We had a huge group come out to play, about 8 of us. 

I had it in my mind that I was only running 2 loops, 12miles. 
Then I had a brain fart, I needed 3 loops. Mohican wasn't for another 10 days, not quite time to taper for my 50 miler. 

We were hitting our 6 miles (1 loops) at about an hour and 15 minutes. This is about our average.
With 2 miles to go, I heard my phone make its goofy "KERPLOP" sound notifying me that I had a message. 
I checked my Garmin and saw a message from Boy Wonder. 

"Guess what I am about to do?"
I responded "Do I dare ask? lol" 
The last time I asked this he was with his friend doing back flips off a 20ft bridge. 
I sent him a couple selfies and texted "Just finishing up my 18 miler"



And then I got this...
"I'm about to go run!! Two miles baby haha"

He finished it up saying he might just run that 5k with me!

THROW UP:
I got home and Austin was laughing and telling me about his 2 miler. "MOM, I almost puked....I kept dry heaving..."

I love that kid. He doesn't doing anything mediocre. 

Run till you are dry heaving? 

NO REGRETS: 
The biggest risk we can take in life is NOT taking one! 
I smiled knowing Austin was trying to meet his goals. Austin is a meat heat. He hits the gym 7 days a week. He eats great and takes great care of himself. But running is out of the box for him. He used to run and was pretty good at it. 
He set goals.
He got uncomfortable. 
And he put one foot in front of itself. 

OUR MIND IS THE BEGINNING OF OUR DREAMS. 
"The decisions we make control us much more than the conditions we meet"

Dream BIG, Dream small...But don't stop a DREAMING. 
Then make intentional efforts and choices to strive towards those dreams. 
And remember Don't let Others Kill Your Dreams. 

As a mom, I get so excited to watch my boys have goals, grit and get after it. I want them to work hard for greatness. Greatness isn't a destination, its a journey. 
Its not delivered, it is earned. 
It isn't material, it is interpersonal.

Anita!

Monday, June 4, 2018

Nothingness


Ever have those days you feel like you have nothing left? Days that even a smile feels out of grasp. Your tired, your beat up and even a bit discouraged.

I have those days.

Running is such a great illustration for being beat up, worn out and overall discouraged.

I have these days when everyone around me appear to be pumped full of sunshine.
Days my running partners are all rock stars. They are running like gazelles and I am in the back panting like a dying dog and running like Yertle the Turtle.

My training has me running 20 miles all the while I am running out of gas to even turn my engine over.

But I press on. With all I have and sometimes that is Nothing at all.

This is not a blog that I post to advertise my miles I run or the pace that I run or even the races I have accomplished.
It is designed to share my Nothingness.

To show my transparency, my Love to the Lord for making me, a nobody, a somebody to HIM.
Allowing Him to use me through my running to just encourage one person.

Yesterday morning at church they sang all the old hymns.
"Amazing Grace...how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me..."
I came into church smiling and within minutes my heart was bleeding.
It was just moments when I caught my breath and balanced my emotions when the next song echoed.
"How Great is our God..Sing with me...how Great is our God...."
I felt myself getting angry. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to smile and my heart trembled with tears. We sang this over and over when Ariel was alive. It was our camp song, out ministry song, it was the popular song when we were together. Summer camps and retreats they always played this. Ariel would be next to me with Mo beside her, best friends.
But Ariel is not with me any longer. But what I have left is what I sowed in her. I gave her all of me and in return I have her memories, her words, her love. I had NOTHING to Give her but my LOVE.
The same for my mother. I had NOTHING to give her but my LOVE.

Nothing. I had nothing left in me. But....
LOVE.  In my tears I had LOVE. In my sadness I had Love. My bleeding heart was pierced with LOVE.
I have NOTHING to great to give anyone, I have NOTHING amazing to share. But I have sweet sweet memories of LOVE.

Galatians 6:3 "For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4. But each one must examine his own work, and then he will have reason for boasting in regard to himself alone and not in regard to another." 

At the end of the day people aren't going to remember how many miles I run, how many age awards I receive or what races I have ran. These all mean NOTHING.
But they will remember how I LOVED them. They will remember how I treated them.

I am Nothing, not because I think I am something. Because trust me..I know I am just a little fish in a big pond. I rest in the shadowlands of greatness.

Examine your own work: It doesn't matter what others do or do not do. Be inspired by others. This is always a tough one.
Today, I found my place in the back. I ran behind the others. I watched as they ran freely
through the trees, the breeze flowing through the woods, perfect, majestic.
I reminded myself to keep my eyes in front of ME. Focus on my running, my breathing. To stay strong for myself. Do my best for ME.
I thought this is how life is. We have to do our best because it is the right thing to do, not because others are or are not doing that.

THE CATS out of the BAG: 
I haven't made this announcement yet....BUT here GOES...
LACEY kept a big secret this past week. She snuck to Traverse City and ran Bayshore Marathon.
She was hoping to qualify for Boston but didn't want me to know. She didn't want the pressure.

AND SHE DID!!
This is all she has been wanting for 2 years. For  both of us to run Boston together. I am sooo proud of her.
The week she ran Boston, 5 weeks ago and didn't qualify she was broken. Discouraged, sad, angry and a barrage of emotions. I was scheduled to run that following week, Glass City.
She called me the day after her Marathon and told me "YOU run that marathon, and you run FAST..."
She still wanting me to give my all. She wanted me to do my best for ME. Not for her, Not for any other reason but because that is what I trained so hard for.
I didn't want to run hard, I wanted to throw the towel in. I didn't want to hurt. I didn't want the pressure. I didn't want the suffering.
But she was RIGHT. This is what I trained for. I had to do it for ME.

Do it for YOU. In your Nothingness, in your brokenness, in your heartbroken, self Don't Quit. Keep doing what is right, what you have worked for, what you have pressed for, what you were designed for...
In our NOTHING we are SOMETHING.
But Examine YOURSELF. Your intentions, Your motives, your heart.

RUNDOWN:
Distance: 16.8
Where: Highland Rec trails
Time: 3:22


Anita~