Running like a Gladiator

Gladiator:

 "What we do in life echoes in eternity" Maximus 

I got a couple gifts that I was not expecting for Christmas. One of them was a 9mm Smith and Wesson and the other gift was a membership to Genesys Athletic Club.

Friday Andy and I went to the shooting range.
Today I checked out my new gym.

Both gifts got 5 stars!

I have been itching to try the gym since Christmas morning.

The athletic club is 10 times the size of what I am used when it comes to gyms.
I was intimidated and nervous walking into the gym. 
My favorite gym of course being outside but running in 6 inches of snow and 21 degree weather is not only miserable it also is a gateway for injury. The last thing I want to do is slip and fall and get injured before Boston.

Or just plain get injured!

I found 2 rows of treadmills. Not wanting to look like a first timer I went to the first row.
Getting on the treadmill today was hard. getting my feet moving was a little easier. But getting out of the slumber I was in felt almost impossible. So I do what I know how to do. RUN.

"Charlie" Ariels Boyfriend made me this for Christmas. He is very thoughtful. These were words that Ariel and I shared.

Maximus: "Strength and honor"

The minutes dragged on. I had barely made it to mile 2 when my foot got tripped and I almost biffed it.  A high pitched squeak exited my mouth. I was thankful my face was already flushed from running that no one could see how embarrassed I was. I tried to gracefully recover only to find out that my treadmill shut down after 20 minutes. 2.40 miles
As soon as it shut off I found a different treadmill. One that went longer than 20 minute.
One that had a TV.
With Gladiator playing.
Begging my mind to move I found myself drifting into Gladiator.
It happened slowly. I was unaware of the transformation in both my body and my mind.
All I knew was I was at mile 5 and my legs were light as a feather. I was in the coliseum with Russell Crowe defending myself. Fighting for myself. This is how I felt.
I felt my body coming out of the pit. I needed to fight back my thoughts. I needed to fight for Anita.

I ran 8 miles today.
I ran 8 miles for ME. 7 miles on the Dreadmill with the Gladiator and 1 mile on the track.
I ran at a good pace, 8:20 was my average. I was happy for that. I needed this run.

The Gladiator reminded me of unfortunate loss.
But it also reminded me to get back up and FIGHT. That there are people fighting with you. There are gonna be people fighting against you BUT there are also people who Believe in you, You are worth believing in. So fight.

Proximo: "Some of you are thinking that you won't fight. Others, that you can't fight. They all say that, until they're out there.." 

Ariel moment. I could use some extra prayers. I am really struggling. Sadness keeps coming in waves. It crashes down on me and I feel its weight crushing me. I do not see a exit. How do I get through this.
I struggled so bad when my brother left. I wanted to leave with him.
I can not even see how I am going to get through the pain of loosing my Ariel. My life is so very very different. I keep running. I keep praying. I keep trying but feel like I am going no where fast. I do not want a life with out Ariel. It's not fare. I just don't understand why God has taken so many people out of my life. Could really use some prayers. It hurts so bad. It takes my breath away, It overwhelms me.

Anita