Isaiah 41:13 "For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.
Yesterday I woke up to crying in my sleep. It was another dream about Ariel. I was laying on the floor sobbing. I had 2 large round bowls in front of me and Ariel was there but she wasn't there. I love having dreams about her. Although I am drowning in tears and awaken in grief, the dreams are pleasant. I see her smile again at me. I see her looking at me with love and laughter. I hear her voice talking to me. I Embrace the Tears and cling to the moment in my dreams as a gift. I believe God gives me these dreams. These little pieces of Ariel. They are worth waking up for. She was always worth it even in life.
I was awake at 3am and woke up for good at 5:30.
I could use some prayer. Kim (Ariel's mom) text me and others yesterday. She invited me to go through Ariel's things at 12 at mom and dads.
She Invited several others.
I am concerned for the meeting. I went to bed praying for God to Orchestrate it. I have some reservations. I think about Ariel and even though she has passed now I think what would HONOR HER.
In some ways I think it is a good thing that she can not see all that takes place.
Today I am reminded that I have to take control of MYSELF.
Today I Will HONOR Ariel and God the VERY Best I can in a tough environment.
Today I Will BREATH.
Today I Will Remind MYSELF of my Relationship with Ariel and the Memories I have far EXCEED anything ELSE.
Today I Will bite my tongue and stuff hurts down, and turn the other cheek if I have to.
Today I Will try not to react.
Today I Will try so hard to give this meeting to GOD. I Know that I am the "Apple of his Eye." And that he does love me and does look out for me.
Today I Will try and let LOVE dictate my Actions and NOT Fear. Even though I am scared to death.
Could use some extra prayers. I am not perfect. I know How I SHOULD be...And I am trying. Grief has potential to really fog your vision.