"Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid nor dismayed for the Lord is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
I strongly hate fear. I do not like the way it makes me feel. I do not like the way it messes with my head. I do not like the way that I respond to it. I do not like the memories associated with it..I Do Not Like Anything About IT!
I think I associate it with feeling weak. I feel hopeless when Fear shows up. When I invite fear in I feel as though he takes control of everything.
Yet, there are multiple things that I am afraid of. I am able to keep Fear at bay most of the time. It is like being able to see your enemy from a distance. You know Fear is at the end of the hall but He is not having lunch with you.
Last night Andy and I got into a heated discussion regarding our itinerary for Boston. He wanted to save money and stay at a hotel about 20 miles away. It threw me almost into a panic attack. I felt as if I was already there. And every possible thing that could go wrong was. My nerves are already a jumbled mess on a calm and smooth race morning. But this is the Mother of ALL races. One not to mess with. I got so worked up I was in tears. Then he got all worked up. We were both a mess. I took on his anxiety along with mine and he did the same with me. We eventually worked it out and enjoyed an evening watched "Catfish" and going to bed, but that last mouthful of anxiety was still there this morning..
This verse speaks volumes to me, here is my breakdown.
. "Be Strong..." Anita take care of your body and mind. Be equipped, Be prepared, Work hard and stay committed to all you do.Whether I am training my mind or my body I have to remind myself there are not short cuts. There will be a day when all that training is going to have to prove itself. Training my body seems easier than training my heart and head. I feel like I come short here all the time. I fail in this arena often but I know though I fail, I am not a failure, "HE is not finished with me yet.."
"...And of good Courage..." You have to go for it Anita. You will not be able to experience all I(God) have to offer you if you do not Trust me. Courage usually leads me to amazing experiences. Skydiving, Roller coasters, Para sailing and there are many more. The key word is GOOD. We can have courage that leads up to bad places. That is the courage to me that is birthed from arrogance. Good courage leads to good things.
"...be not afraid nor dismayed.." There is that Fear again..FEAR= False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear is often associated with confusion. When I am fearful I look for an escape plan. I get flustered and loose myself. My head gets all cloudy. I can not find my way very well, It is like I am in a thick fog.
"...For the Lord is with you wherever you go." I LOVE this reminder...In the Thickest fog..all I have to do is know that God is right there, he is going to direct me, He is going to comfort me, He is going to give me security because WHY....
I have been training! I train my mind and my body, Yes, like yesterday there are days I feel weak and discouraged, but like today, I got back up and did it again..Yesterday was rough, and today I wondered what was in store for me. The beginning of my morning was training my mind and heart with HIM..He prepared me for the rest of the day and he never leaves me...