But is it?
Maybe for you, but for me..In all honesty...It is not always so easy.
The things I write, the things I say I BELIEVE.
I want to be that person all the time that I speak of.
Whether it is in TRAINING or in LIFE.
But I am not. I fail often. Lately I have more than often failed.
It has been 13 weeks. Just over 3 months. Since the loss of Ariel. She consumes my mind. When my world is lifeless and silent my heart cries out in agony. It cries so loud that I can not think. I am disabled. I invert. I retreat. I shut down.
I give the best I have. I am so sorry if I have disappointed anyone or hurt anyone it has been unintentional. Just Breathing. One day at a time. When I want to stay under the covers all day I crawl out of bed with the best I have. It may not seem like much to the average person but it is my all. Tears rest in my eyes wanting to escape all day long.
I do not know where I would be if I did not have my boys to take care of or miles to run.
So I decided to start training early for Boston this week.
I can organize my training easier than anything. I feel like Forrest Gump. I can just run and run and run....
I can organize and compartmentalize my thoughts, plans, and prayers in the company of adrenaline and sweat.
I am most comfortable with myself during a run.
Training:
SUNDAY: Sick. Rested
MONDAY: 8 miles
WEDNESDAY: 9miles
THURSDAY: 8 miles
Total-25 miles
It is supposed to be nice out Saturday, I may try and get a couple miles in.
Training is also about Nutrition.
I have been working real hard on eating right.
My Mother in law got me a Magic Bullet for my birthday. Even when I do not feel like eating- making a smoothie is really easy and healthy.
Some of the ingredients I put in them:
- Organic Vanilla yogurt ( protein, low in fat)
- Tart Cherry juice (good for inflamation0
- raspberries, bueberries, strawberries (Antioxidants)
- Juice Plus Complete Protien powder ( vitamins, protien)
- Rice milk (low fat, easy on the belly)
- Peanut butter (protien)
- Bananas (prevents cramps)
- Spinach (high in potassium)
"Just because you Fail does not mean you are a Failure."
Just Keep keeping on. In TRAINING or in Life.
Give others grace, Give yourself grace.
Be patient with others. Be patient with yourself.
Anita
You are the least likely person to be a failure. You are an amazing woman, mother, wife, FRIEND, runner, motivator etc. You have been dealt a very tough blow - and you are doing the BEST you can. One day at a time. One step at a time. Keep getting up and doing what you do best - being yourself. GIVE YOURSELF GRACE. It takes time to deal with a tragedy. BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF!! Don't run yourself into the ground while trying to outrun your grief. Your body needs you - and so does everyone around you. We all love you Anita, and I don't think there is one person who thinks less of you or will look down on you during this difficult time. You can and will do this!! I know you have Boston as your goal and the training plan will help keep you in a routine and bring you some peace. I'm here for you :) anytime, anywhere... xoxoxo
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