I would dream about someone sweeping me off my feet and taking me away from everything and everyone that hurt me. I would dream about a house, a car, a husband and 2 little kids running around. I would dream about the details, the kids names, the city we lived in, the professions we had and the places we would go.
I would dream till it took me far far away from reality. I would drift off so far I would not want to get off the bus.
I looked for opportunities to pull myself into my own world. A world I could control.
Like a soap opera I would pick up right back where I left off. I would incorporate even dialogue with all the details. I would bury myself into my world of dreams and stay there building it with every moment I had..
My dreams have all come true. I live a life that I only ever dreamed of. I am no superstar and I do not live a life out of a Fairy tale.
It is simple.
I have a amazing husband. I have 2 incredible boys. I have a house. I have a car. I even have a dog! A modest life. A blessed life.
But I also have an Abundant Life. I never dreamed of being a runner. I never knew I could do the things I have done. I never knew God had so so much more for me. I never knew I was going to rely on God so much. I never knew HE would supply my dreams...Not necessarily me. I never knew I would dream of doing or seeing the things I have. But HE did.
I am a dreamer.
I dream about my running. I dream about my next race and goals and places God wants to take me and my running.
I dream for my children, my husband, my family.
I dream all day long with my eyes open and closed. I dream awake and unconscous...
I believe in Dreams....
Sooo I want to share another dream with you.
For the last 3 weeks I have awaken to 2 songs that pertain to Ariel. These songs present themselves on FRIDAY. The morning Ariel passed away. They are songs that I associate with her and often bring me to my knees.
1. Bruno Mars "Just The Way You Are"
2. The Lumineers "Ho Hey
I have NO IDEA why these songs continue to come through the radio when there are a million other songs that can wake me up at 6am.
I awoke to a dream so vivid of Ariel that I was under my sheets shaking I was crying so hard. I couldn't breath. My chest was heavy and weighed on. My muscles were tense and I felt exhausted.
Ariel was sitting on a bed. She sat there in cotton shorts and a tank top. She had her legs crossed in front of her. Ariel looked over at me as I walked toward her. Her long brown hair draped over her shoulders. Her skin was milky and fresh.. Her eyes were as big as saucers. The biggest brown eyes you have ever seen. They were looking at me with love and adoration. She looked like a angel. Her posture was inviting. She reached out with her arms open bringing me into her. "Aunt Nita, It's OK.. Come here." And again she coaxed me to come to her. "It's OK...Come here Aunt Nita." And she wrapped her arms around me. I layed on her lap like a child as she held me crying. I cryed and I cryed and she just continued to hold me and whispered "It's Ok...."
I believe God showed himself through my dream. He knows my deepest dreams, my heart and my hurts.
And he showed me Ariel...He showed me her love for me. God gave me her..I felt HER, I smelled HER, I heard HER and I saw HER in a amazing way.
I miss her so much and he knows this. HE hears my prayers, my cries and my dreams..
I don't understand very much. But I truly believe that God gave me that dream. He held me tight and told me "It's going to be OK."