I would describe 2014 in a few words. Fail, Challenged, Injured, Recovery, Grateful...
Fail: My vision and goals for 2014 were a failure. I went into 2014 with strength and power. I kept the goals until after running Boston Marathon. Everything went to "H" in a hand basket. I ran over 200 miles in April, I paid the price for the rest of the year. I have failed with some interpersonal goals too. Thank God for second chances.
Challenged: Injuries are Challenging. Trying to do the right thing is Challenging. Trying to figure out what the right thing is, is challenging! Raising a teenager is Challenging. Keeping my marriage strong while raising kids and doing the right thing is also Challenging! Sneezing without peeing my pants is challenging!
Injured: Like that doesn't say enough. Pain SUCKS. Being injured for more than half the year really messes with you. Being injured is like having a harness around you after chugging a couple 5 Hour Energies and a bag of sour patch kids. You want to go but you can't. Pain hurts. It has voices that talk to you in the wee hours of the night, LOUD voices...At least I think that was pain talking to me.
Recovery. Feeling your body and mind getting stronger is so encouraging. Being present in the here and now and not the would haves and could've. I had to learn that baby steps forward was still progress. Recovery never happens at the speed we want it to, this is like the definition of my pace right now too! Its moving forward at a turtle crawl...
Grateful: I can pout and whine over my brokenness or I can CHOOSE to realign my thoughts on being positive and grateful. I had plenty to whine about. We all do. Believe it or not I do not share everything in my blog! Even in defeat you can find victory, you just have to look in a different direction.
In Running News:
I finished 2104 out with a last minute race. I The New Years Resolution race. The last year I ran this Ariel came out to support Andy, Sarah and I. Along with the rest of out families. Ariel was all dressed for a the cold, wearing a white headband I had bought her. I remembered thinking "Why can't I look that cute in one of those!"
I think I cried all day. But it was better to cry in warmth then cry running and have frozen icicles on my face while running.
I hadn't mentioned to anyone that I was racing. Austin always comes through. I was getting ready when He came home from basketball. I told him I had to get going, the race was at 2. As I was leaving I casually said to Austin, "Hey, If you wanna go with me that would be great."
Without hesitation he replied "Yeah mom, let me go get dressed real quick."
I felt like he had just gave me the biggest bear hug without actually touching me. Austin is so thoughtful. He knew I really needed him. He knew what a sentimental run this was to me.
I picked up Jama and we headed to Flint, we were both running.
After registering and we ran into Ken H.
I was also quite surprises to find ANDY got out of work in time to be there for me too.
Team Harless. Tears welled in my eyes. I was just so thankful for my family. They always come through when I need them most.
New Years Resolution 8K. Ken, Jama and I took off. It was colder than freezing. I ran a few steps behind Ken hoping he would block the wind. I started whining before we hit mile one and I NEVER quit. By mile 4 I thought I was DYING. I couldn't breath. Even though the wind was whipping air at me it was taking my breath away not giving me air.
We let Ken Pace us.
"Jama, If I die, Know that I died doing what I love."
"No, I won't let you, I will drag you to the finish."
"Jama, If I die, I did finish."
The last mile, I saw runners racing towards us. totally freaked out I whined a little more, "KEN, WHERE are they coming from??" I seriously thought we were almost done. I was to scared to look at my watch in case I was disappointed. Seeing them come toward us on the course made me calculate I had way more to run.
Ken replied right before he began to split from us, "They are done."
"Oh, GOD, I want to be done." It was at that moment I remembered why I run. The physical pain trumps the emotional pain. I distinctly remembered seeing Ariel at the finish. This made my heart hurt. But my lungs hurt so much worse I was able to not emotionally fall apart.
I told Jama she could leave me, She never did. The cold beat the snot out of us, literally.
The Finish line was right there, I saw Andy and Austin cheering me on. With everything I had, which was a whole lot of nothing, I turned those legs over to finish the torture.
Jama and I heaved in misery back into the YMCA. We were both shocked to find out we both got 2nd Place in out Age Group! My slowest 8K EVER and I placed!
We laughed at our victories. I ran that one in honor of Ariel. I chased my Angel.
New Years Resolution 8K. 2014