I hate when I can't control my thoughts. I woke up after only sleeping for an hour. I couldn't get it together. My mind was chaos, and the same cumbersome thoughts kept drilling deeper and deeper into my space. I couldn't get out of it.
I found myself praying for God to "Create in me a Clean Heart." I prayed For "Peace"
I was desperately begging God to calm the storm in my mind.
With little sleep, I woke up at 5:30am to Andys alarm. I laid there only to find myself back in my own metal torment.
In a mild anxiety attack, I sent Andy a text message asking him to pray for me. My chest was heavy, tears rested on my eyelashes and my body was shaking internally.
"Get a Grip Anita, Calm down."
I recited all my mantra, I recalled Gods promises but I knew I had to just suck it up and get the day tackled.
It's like I can hear God saying "RUN Anita RUN".
Yes, I believe God loves to see me run. Because He knows I am running right next to him.
I felt my wet tears hit my shin as I ran around the cold track.
They were not tears of emotion. They were not even tears, my eyes watered from sweat and effort.
They watered from the release of a whole lot of chaos.
Distance: 7 miles at GAC track
3 miles with Husky Road Runners. We had a great turn out in the snow. We hit the trails for 3 miles at Sorenson Park.
It's been a rough week being Anita. My kids have had a rough week, my heart is heavy. I continue to pray for a clean heart, wisdom and discernment. I wish I knew the right thing to do all the time.
Claudia reminded me that I shouldn't beat myself up so bad on the trails tonight. I love my running friends. Claudia is a crazy funny as she is deep and wise. I knew I was where I was supposed to be out there tonight. So grateful.
Runners Hold A Lot Of Wisdom.