I could hardly breath. My chest felt like there were rocks in it. My bottom lips began to quiver so I bit it to try to prevent myself from crying. Only it didn't work. The clouds protected me from the heat of the sun but it could not protect me from a broken heart. I saw those big brown eyes looking at me as I ran up N. Holly Rd. And the lyrics to Phillip Phillips "Home" sang in my ears. The catchy little beat sang words of heaven in my ears. Although the song reflected hope it still brought heartache. . I tried to swallow my tears but finally I just let it come out naturally. I let them fall down my cheeks. I lost all my running etiquette letting my arms just flap in the wind, my shoulders dropped and my legs shuffled in effort to move forward. I didn't want the song to end and as it came closer I accepted it as I had the tears. "Ok Nita, its good to grieve, allow yourself the tears but now lets get going again." I wasn't telling myself to forget or to stuff it down, I was telling myself to not let the sadness overwhelm me. I can still grieve with a smile but sometimes I need to grieve with tears, with sadness. These days are fewer but they are still there, they are mostly moments not days.
|ALEC AND CHARLIE BROWN In Ariel's room.|
"Charlie" her boyfriend..
And mom always called "Charlie" Charlie Brown. So there we have it.
There were a few things that sparked my tears today, the new puppy was one of them but there have been many others.
My niece "Sarah" and I were talking about Ariel the other night and "Sarah" said something that described my heart perfectly. "I just don't understand why God would take someone who LOVES ME so much."
That's what I always think. She Loved Me. And I miss that Love so VERY much.
"Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated in life is optional."
I am going to attempt to run the longest I have ever ran and see how far it takes me. I am going 4 hours tomorrow. I could really use some prayers. I am going to run into Clarkston. So if you see me HONK! I could really use the encouragement.
What is the longest you have ever run??? Any tips??