Austin wanted me to take him to the gym after school so I decided to stay home and get things done around the house.
The problem is when I am alone with myself to long I think way to much. I had horrible anxiety today. This is not like me. I am not used to my heart pounding, my skin prickly, shaky and the overwhelming feeling of wanting to explode.
I opened my bible and prayed. I read 1Samuel and in the chapter I am studying the words "RUN" stuck out to me. Running was not what I needed to calm my spirit. I needed God.
I wish I could tell you that everything was "hunky dorry" after spending time with Him. But I still felt a tug...
There are many days I am fighting all of Hell not to throw in the towel. I try so hard to be strong and courageous but I struggle terribly losing Ariel. There are days I just do not want to move forward. As Easter approaches I am feeling my emotions scattered. The smallest thing feels so raw.
As the boys and I entered the Athletic Club I put my things in a locker and headed to the Dreadmill.
Dear Issue, Frustration, Circumstance,
YOU Do NOT OWN ME. You will Not Conquer me. You can mock me, you can try to break me, you can even make fun of me..But You will NOT Own me. Today I USED YOU to FUEL ME. Today I gained strength from the Adversity that you brought me. Today I use You to Remind ME to Seek GOD for Comfort, For Strength, For Wisdom, For PEACE.
Today I Felt YOU and I clenched my fists, I dug my heels in and turned my legs over like a Beast. I Felt Empowered by you. I Felt FUELED by You. You Do NOT OWN ME. I Reminded myself that GOD is my Father, I Honor HIM..Everything I do is For HIM...NOT YOU. When I fall..He picks me up, He Never Leaves me..He Loves me all the Time..Thank You for a great RUN today!
I HAVE PEACE.
RUNDOWN:
Distance: 5.5 Miles
REPEATS: 4x1 mile repeats @a .05 incline with 200m walk @a 1.5 incline.
Mile1: 7:30
Mile2: 7:18
Mile3: 7:08
Mile4: 6:50
400m cool down
I took Austin to the track to see how he would do running the mile....He did Awesome, without any running this winter he ran the mile at 6:27! He was pretty red faced and sweating like a stuck pig but he was even proud of his time.
If you subscribe to my blog there are some fun Contests coming!! I am getting ready to share another one!!
As I end my day I am so thankful for Gods healing hand on me. I am Thankful for the strength He has given me. I am Thankful for HIS words that encourage me. I am Thankful for Andy and the encouragement and wisdom he has given me. I Am thankful for a Godly Husband.
GRATEFUL...in so many ways.
2 Chronicles 16:9a
“For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to
show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him.”
(NKJV)
Anita
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