The morning was beautiful. The sun was shining with clouds giving the bright blue sky perfect contrast.
As we drove to church I had a smile resting on my lips.
Even the sermon as church was good.
After church I looked for "Jama". She is a gal in our running club that also goes to church with me. We made a running date after church to meet and go for a run together.
She and her family followed me to Andy's mom and dads house just a few miles down the street. Once there we changed and still smiling we headed outside to run.
Running 9 miles we were approaching a very large hill that we had been watching for over a mile. There was no avoiding it.
"Jama" was verbally dreading this hill. I said to her "Jama, I like to look at these hills like they are the toughest challenge of my day. I see My challenge, person, idea, struggle at the very top of the hill and I am determined to run it down."
That hill was nothing but a speed bump in comparison to what would lie ahead for me.
At 3Pm almost all our family were seated in the arena to watch Ariels graduation from U of M Flint.
The arena was decorated with maize and blue flowers everywhere. People were laughing and taking snapshots. The band was playing it is was a perfect day for a celebration.
Here I was all dressed up to see my Ariel walk only she was not going to be here today. Her diploma would be waiting to be received her name would be called out but she would be far far from the presence of this ceremony.
She was suposed to be here. I was suposed to do her hair and take pictures of her. I was filled with pride and honor that I should be showing her. I was so proud of her. She worked so hard for this moment. From flashcards to working 2 and 3 jobs to late night studying and pictures and props she created. I could see her smile, Her long dark hair. Several times I thought I saw her out of the corner of my eye, but it was not her, I wanted it to be her. I wanted so much more from this day. I had no smile in me.
Andy sat next to me as I shook throught out the service in tears. I looked up at him and his eyes were glazed over and he was trying so hard to remain composed.
"This is a depressing day." Andy said as we left.
As I looked at her Diploma I burst into tears. This was all wrong. This was not the way it was supposed to be.
It was a tough day. I miss my baby girl. Soo terribly much,
I am so proud of her..She was amazing.