"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
May 25th 1996. Today was 17 years of marriage. We are probably one of the weirdest couples you will ever meet. Andy and I are polar opposites in so may ways.
- Andy is an introvert -I am a extrovert
- Andy is 6'2 -I am 5'2
- Andy is seriously, very serious- I am a goof ball
- Andy is the "cup is half empty"- I am the "cup is half full"
- Andy is not good at saving money- I am a money hoarder
- Andy is a perfectionist- Yeah...I am not!
- Andy is very organized and- I am a scatterbrain no matter how hard I try.
The last year has been tough. But over the course of 17 years we are not blind to having a difficult marriage.
Due to the challenges we have overcome not only in our marriage but also within ourselves we have developed tools to help with the obstacles we would face. We exercised strength to overcome and wisdom to properly strategize those challenges throughout our 17 years of marriage.
On my way home from work today I discovered a card on my windshield from Andy. I wanted to go straight home to see him and in the same breath I wanted to go see Ariel. Ariels headstone was placed yesterday. FRIDAY. Exactly 32 weeks from her accident.
My car headed downtown toward the cemetery in Clarkston.
It was beautiful. I could have sat there all evening.
How did my marriage survive losing Ariel?
We had so many bad moments. Yelling in confusion at one another. Andy begging me to come back and me begging him to be patient with me.
Unaware of the depression and discouragement my heart was consumed with I seriously did not know who I was and did not want to move forward.
I needed Andy so bad and in the same breath I wanted to be left alone.
Regardless, Andy couldn't be there for me. He had his own pain he was struggling with.
Then just 6 months later we survive the Boston Bombings.
As I look over the last year, I have had some incredible achievements; Bayshore Marathon, The Detroit Marathon and The Boston Marathon. I have had my heart broken in grief, I have struggled as a parent with a teenage son and through out it all...Andy and I have made it through.
With all the greatness of the last year the distress of losing Ariel trumped everything and yet...I saw not only my marriage grow from the hurt, I also saw God do miracles in Our Life, Our Marriage and Ourselves.
"Anita, I was thinking we could go for an anniversary run together..." Andy said over the phone on my way home from visiting Ariel at the cemetery.
"Uh...How far?" I responded without enthusiasm. I felt bad that I couldn't muster up a little excitement but I had worked 2 days on my feet and booked solid at the salon.
Andy wanted me to run his long run with him, 9 miles.
It sounded great and it sounded awful all together.
"I thought it would be romantic, a Anniversary run together." Andy winked
Next I knew we were running down Grange Hall rd. Only I was only doing 4 of his 9!
It was a good day. I have a amazing Husband. I have so much to be thankful for. God is good...All the time. He is good in the good and he is good in the bad.
It has been a tough year on my marriage and like running my marriage has withstood some tough obstacles but together we have made it through. We have hit some walls, we have cried, we have had to dig deep and we have prayed. We could not have made it without Christ.
"I can do all things through Christ whom strengthens me." Phil 4:13