|"Christa" and I before our run|
"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."
I am in a condo with 10 other girls from Glitz. It is day 3 of our mini Disney Vacation. We really have an incredible group of girls and a great boss.
I love the girls but I also love my nothing box!
I am not a party girl. I don't drink and do not like to be out late at night.
I got up today with the idea of enjoying a tranquil cup of coffee protected inside from the scheduled rainy weather. I did not get up alone. Before I knew it the first pot of coffee was gone within minutes of me brewing it and so were the other 2 pots soon after. We all gathered around a kitchen table drinking coffee and fighting for air to talk. It was quite the scene out of a sitcom. 1- 6 foot table with 10 chairs squeezed around it and 13 women gabbing, laughing and interrupting one another. We are hairdressers that is what we do, talk loud, use lots of facial expressions and hand motions, laugh like crazed lunatics and think we are the funniest thing there is. We were all having fun. Even I was having fun.
There was no schedule of events for us girls. Actually because of the 40% chance of rain showers most of us made NO plans.
Oh but I had 1 thing on my day...
"Anita what are you going to do today?" someone asked.
"I am going to run till my legs fall off!." I responded in all seriousness.
"Christa" wanted to go running with me. She also wanted to go with the rest of the group to "Earl of a Sandwich". She chose running with me.
We decided to run 4 miles again only I was going to drop her off and keep going and run till my legs fell off, remember?!
As we walked outside there was no rain. And there was no rain in sight. I was getting more and more excited. "Christa" did great. She let me lead her and we went in a direction that was unfamiliar to her and me both. But because I have been running so long I have a pretty good sense of not only direction but also distance and time. She was concerned when we went off the path and ended up outside of our resort. "Christa, just trust me, I wont get us lost." I did even better than Christa could have ever imagined. I dropped her off right at 4 miles directly in front of "Earl of a Sandwich"! And things even got better when we walked in and saw the rest of our girls in line to order their food. It was perfect.
|Mile 4 of my run. Running with pirates!|
I ran over 14 miles. I never got lost and wouldn't have cared if I had. I had my legs. All I wanted to do was run. I had nothing else planned. I wanted to run brainlessly. The sidewalk was my playground and all I had to do was move. All I had to do was go forward in gratitude that I was capable of entertaining this love affair. It is so fulfilling to create your own happy place.
The whole world was spinning around me and yet in my movement I was alone in my own world.
There is so much life to live and even when there may not be much time in our life I have learned from "Ariel" that you can always live it to its fullest.
Even when I do not "Feel" like smiling or laughing sometimes we just have to suck it up and fight for joy.
In our loss and in our hardships, at the cusp of them the wound is so abrasive and open. The wounds of this life are fresh in their infancy and we are reminded of their discomfort and pain almost constantly. When our wounds are tender and raw there are many agonizing days. Every moment is difficult and there seems like there is not a break in our agony and yet another wave of affliction crashes upon us. But as the minutes turn to hours and the hours turn to days the bad days turn to bad moments with a few scraps of joy woven in between our heartache. And with each passing day I am told that the bad days with a few good moments will eventually turn to good days with a few tough moments.
One Day at a Time.
I can not make sense from senseless. And Ariels death seems just like that in my little itty bitty mind.
But for today I will just try to make it to the next moment. There are things I will never understand and many things I can not figure out. I give it to God in trust. I trust God and his plan. I know that God wants me to crawl up on his lap and cry. He expects me to. He knows I do not understand his plan but he wants me to come to him, my heavenly Father...for comfort and peace. When my mind is twirling with unanswered questions and selfishness h\He gives me not only grace but He holds me and cares for me and He wipes my tears.
Ariel Challenge. At Disney there is a parade that happens at the Magic Kingdom every day at 3pm. We watched it yesterday and I wanted to see "Ariel". Mind you My Ariel never even watched "My Little Mermaid." But I just wanted to see her because she shared the same name as MY Princess.
There she came, the last float in the parade and facing the other side. All I could even see was her long crimson red hair. I was left disappointed. But then as the float cruised past me a banner hung across that read " Celebrate Life"
Let your heart cry. But find a moment to laugh. Find moments to Celebrate Life. Remember that bad Moments in the beginning encircle you but there will be Good Moments in bad days and eventually we will have less and less of those Bad/Hard Moments in Good Days.
How did you Celebrate Life Today?