"being Strengthened with all power according to His glorious might so that you may have great Endurance and Patience,"
I have just had one of those weeks. It has been emotionally tough. I really want to isolate myself when I get like this. I am so scared that I will say or do something that I shouldn't. I have had 2 deaths and some issues on the backside that have really beat me up.
The problem with sadness is it creeps through the cracks of our life presenting weeds of all different sizes and strengths. You may see sadness as a minor nuisance but when you do not get control of that weed it comes bringing friends.
Friends like anger, bitterness, depression and confusion.
I knew what I really needed to do was run. I knew that running would help release serotonin and that would help balance my emotions more for me.
I needed to run 14 miles. If that didn't purge some issues than I might as well throw in the towel!
I met Jama at the school where we would begin. Jama is a great runner. I had to swallow my pride and ask if we could add walk breaks in every mile to keep my pace down. I really want to run The Detroit Free Press Marathon. I have resigned to the fact that I am NOT going to run it in the 8's. Right now my main focus is JUST running it. However you cut it, I just want to run it!
I am 3 weeks behind training. I will not have a taper. I am praying for a miracle. I am praying God will keep my body strong and maintained.
My legs in the first few miles really made me nervous. I know that the first 2-4 miles are always my toughest.
Funny, before my watch died I remember seeing mile 4. My thoughts were, "Oh God, How am I going to pull out another 10 miles like this?" I felt weak and broken.
Our path was mostly dirt roads. Our conversation was sweet and encouraging to one another. It felt so good to have this fellowship with Jama. I was able to drown out all the gibberish in my head.
I didn't even realize how strong I felt till Jama told me our pace. I felt like a rock star! No No, not like Kara Goucher Rock Star! I felt more Strength and Endurance on this run than I had in a long time.
"In my Weakness He is Strong"
I am not to proud to beg. I need His Power to Strengthen me. I need Him to rebuild me and recover me from ME.
I have to get back up and pull the weeds that I have allowed to manifest. That I have watered and fed.
The course has been one with many obstacles the last couple weeks. I am reminded to be patient and pace myself properly to recover through these difficult stumbling blocks. The great thing is God put a couple people in my path to help pull out my weeds today. They took the time and courage to talk to me and call me.
Maybe you are struggling in the path before you. Maybe you are wounded and having a hard time staying on track. Don't give up. Seek God to strengthen you. Then have patience with yourself to keep moving forward. You don't have to go full steam ahead. Wounds do not always heal fast. It is important to be Patient with yourself, remaining steady with Endurance to finish the course all the way through.
14 MILES! So So happy!!!
Praying for 16 next week!