|Treated like a Princess. I love these boys.|
At this stage of my life being a Mother, having a Mother, losing a Mother and recognizing Mothers makes this day multi dimensional.
I have learned to appreciate, love, forgive, accept, and embrace Mothers on different levels.
Losing a Mother: It has been over 20 years now, since I have lost my mother. I was 18 years old. My mom lived a hard life. As an alcoholic and addict she was not the best mom BUT..She was doing the best she could. Her disease killed her at 52 years old.
I know beyond a shadow of a doubt she loved me, my brother and my sister. I miss the "Would of and the Could'ves." I find myself daydreaming about all the conversations I missed. I create scenarios that contain all the details and dialogue of events that never happened but should have.
As a Mother, myself I daydream about her seeing her grandchildren.
I never quit missing my mother. I will never get over the heartbreak of losing her.
For those who have lost a mother my heart deeply goes out to you.
|Isnt She so beautiful. I love her so. Mom.|
Having a Mother: I have been married for almost 18 years. Andy's Mother was not always fond of me. When my mother died, Andy's mother took a significant turn. Maybe I did too. This I know. Life is fragile. With no parents at 18 years old, I yearned to be loved. My grandma was very special to me. She was like a mother to me in many ways. But Andy's mother began to notice me and love me. I am like nothing she was used to. I talk back, I hold my ground, I am strong minded, I openly communicate. I discuss my hurts, disappointments and do not play "The Elephant in the Room".
Mom (Andy's Mom) found herself in many awkward conversations with me. I forced her to discuss uncomfortable conversations, I openly disagreed with her and told her why, I watched her feel, feel hurt, feel disappointment and feel acceptance in herself and others. I watched this woman grow to love me for me. She learned to not only accept me but also understand me. Mom didn't try to change me, but she changed to love me. This is so sacrificial. Most people want nothing to do with you if you do not fit in their box. If you make them a little bit uncomfortable they find an exit plan.
I do not take ONE BREATH of hers for granted. I know that God has given her to me. She is a GIFT. A beautiful and perfect GIFT. She is my Best Friend and my Mother.
|I am the Queen Bee for the Day!|
|Alec and Me|
Being a Mother: Many little girls play with dolls and play dress up. They pretend to be mothers, dreaming of having their own children and family.
This was not me. I had no role models to influence me in those dreams. When I got pregnant with Austin, Andy and I were working on our marriage. We had made a mess of our first 2 years of marriage. I cried and cried, telling Andy how sorry I was when I discovered I was pregnant.
When I brought Austin home from the hospital, I sat on the couch and had a nervous breakdown. I cried uncontrollably. I did not know the first thing about what to do with a baby. I had no one to teach me. All I knew was, what NOT to do. I looked down at this fragile, completely dependent infant and felt so unequipped.
14 years later, with Alec along side of him, I am still unequipped. Many days, I have no idea what to do. I am so thankful for the Godly influence of mom. I am Thankful for God giving me direction and wisdom.
Being a Mother is the hardest thing I have ever done. There are NO Time OUTS, No Breaks, and no "When is it my Turn".
You wake up a Mother, you Go to bed a Mother. It is getting hurt by their words, being disappointed by their actions, and being confused by their choices. It is loving them when they are unlovable, forgiving them when they can't say sorry, and believing in them when they let you down.
Being a Mother is not all roses and butterflies. I wouldn't trade any of it in. I have never fought so hard for anything in my life as I have for my children. And I will go to my grave fighting for them.
|Shepherds Hollow Mothers Day Brunch. 3 very special Mothers.|
Today, I think of many other Mothers. I also think of those who have loved me as a Mother.
My sister in law has 8 children. She is an incredible mother. The most sacrificing woman I know.
When I grew up there was a mother, Marie, who took my sister and I in. She had no children at the time but her and her husband took us almost every weekend, vacation, and summer.
Some Incredible Mothers; My sister Gina, Danielle, Holly, Kelli K, Katie, Karen M,, Kimberly P., There are many more, these are just a few.
The thoughtfulness of others has made my day even more special. I have gotten so may messages wishing me a Happy Mothers Day. This is a reminder that you influence more people than you realize.
|Maw Maw Smith, Sarah and I. Grand Parents are special Mothers.|
I think of my sister in law Leeanne. She always wanted children and could not have them. She is such a special person. My dearest client Paula, who also wanted children. She is a very loving and generous woman. My heart goes out to those special ladies who wanted children.
And lastly, remembering my dear Ariel. I miss her so. She always recognized me and loved me on this day.
My niece Sarah, blessed me today. She always makes me feel so special.
|Sarah, She is so Special to Me.|
|Andy snapping photos from Behind!|
Distance: 8.2 miles
Ran With ANDY! It was a great Mothers Day Run with my HUN!
I got hand made letters from the boys. I love letters from the heart.
|My Mothers Day Goodies!!|
Happy Mothers Day to All. I hope your Day was Special.