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| Angie W made every paper flower by hand with love. This sweet angel has blessed me with care packages for the last 9 months. Grateful for her love and constant prayers. |
This past week was the first full week that I began to have a little more energy. Having a Cancer Free diagnosis does not mean that I feel like my old self and that just sucks.
I want to go a million miles a minute, juggle 20 things and be excited that I could push my limits without the fear of being broken.
I was close to achieving this but I got my butt handed to me before I could go a second round.
I was stoked I was able to clean maw maws house, have lunch with a friend that was recently diagnosed with cancer and make a meal for another friend who just had her mastectomy from breast cancer. I was able to give back the lil bit that was given to me.
I also worked, had PT three times last week, threw a birthday party for my father in law and ran a few miles.
Things are slowly coming together. I get excited with opportunities to help others.
When I think about having cancer I smile. Because as miserable as it was, God has used me in great and mighty ways. I have no great talents, not really much to offer, I am not a scholar or own a money tree.
To be honest, I am a broken mess, extraordinarily mediocre.
A whole lot of nothing that great.
And yet, God chooses to use me. "Be weary in well doing". I will go to my grave being tired. I have been so blessed in my brokenness. I have no idea how I can pay it all back but I will die trying.
Life is bigger than me. Get over yourself Anita.
"Don't Let your fear decide your future." Shalene Flanagan
I feel like a lil ole lady. I bend down and wonder if I can get back up. My joints and bones sound like a bowl of Rice Krispies, SNAP, CRACKLE and POP! Menopause has me sleepless and emotional.
I squint trying to read fine print and I am finally OVER the gray hair.
I HURT every stinking day. Nobody tells you this! I am hearing how brittle your bones get from chemo and it frightens me.
HOWEVER....
I can't stay afraid. I want to live. I want adventures again. I want to smile pushing my limits.
I am learning to run alone. I have no idea what my body will do. It is literally one mile at a time. It is walking, running, jogging, praying and learning. You can learn a lot about yourself if you are quiet enough,
Collision: "Shift from thinking to feeling--feel yourself accomplish your goal. Take that feeling out of your head and put it into your heart. Embrace it as the reality."
Erin Taylor, Founder and head coach of Jasyoga
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| 3 solo miles. |
Last Sunday, I ran 10 miles on the icy trails and it took over 2 hours.
Today, I wanted to try to run another 10 miles. I drove to Kensington to test out my legs on the pavement.
I DID IT! I DID IT! 10 miles, at a sub 10 minute pace! And I wasn't hobbling. Now, I won't tell you it was a pain free run but it was a manageable run. I added a walk break every mile. But I did it. I was so thrilled. I have PT in the morning, I am curious to see how my knee feels through the night and tomorrow.
Monday: PT 3miles,
Wednesday: PT 3miles
Thursday: PT Gym, 50 minutes Elliptical, 11 minutes rowing, I saw a few kids I coached XC. They came over to check on me, it made my night.
Sunday: Kensington, 10m
Total Miles: 16.
Goals do not have to be massive. Goals can still be epic proportionally to YOU. If I set my goals in comparison to what my friends are doing than I would feel very discouraged. while I am very happy for them, I can't do what they are all doing. And that is good. Because gratitude allows my goals to give me encouragement. It allows me to be appreciative for every little thing.
Every lil goal achieved is then epic to me.
Special Thanks:
Thank you to Angie W for the care package with your homemade goodies filled with LOVE. This lady lives MILES away and has sent me the most thoughtful packages.
Thank you to Ruth, Aunt Lois and mom for my cards.
So much LOVE.
Hot Spots:
*Get over yourself
*Be weary in well doing
*Give Back
*Set Goals
Anita
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