Angels Unaware.

I started getting little messages before I had announced my diagnosis.
I hadn't even told my boys yet.

After I had shared the news of my breast cancer with my boys, a very very hard thing to do, Andy told me I really should announce it.
The news was spreading like wildfire and I wasn't able to keep up on the inquiries.
Andy said it will be like a "Statement".
I really didn't want to announce it on my FB. So I blogged it then posted it, that way you could read it if you chose and if you didn't want to you didn't have to open it.

I was overwhelmed with all the love, prayers, and support I received. I am overflowing.

Today I had a "Cancer Class". It was just for us. "Deborah" was incredible. She was fast talking, direct, her information flowed smoothly and kindly.
She asked how I was doing,
"I am doing very well, I have been circled around so much love and support that I almost feel guilty for this process going as well as it has."

Everyday I am showered with love, kindness, support, encouragement, prayers, I can seriously go on and on.

From past XC runners of mine to old running partners, I have gotten so many texts and messages just to say "HI, I am praying for you..."

I have gotten messages from people I don't even know, clients, old neighbors and so many church members offering support, I have been lavished with LOVE.

Thank YOU, I have read every message, every text, every comment.

Last week was very difficult on me. Everyday I had Dr, appointments or procedures. It kicked me in the teeth a bit. I maintained a smile and tried really hard to stay pleasant.
I slacked on a lot at home and tried to play catch up but the reality has been tough, I cant keep up.
But we have been given special homemade dinners and desserts.
Today, my running friends spoiled me, I was given enough meals for a week with a goody bag of gift certificates for dinners and stuff to pamper myself.
In my quiet place, I am tearful. Soo Much LOVE.

"We entertain Angels Unaware." God has more than just love and support for me, he has also taken care of my boys. My family is used to a mom that makes dinner most nights, I am so blessed to be given dinners for them.
I don't believe God gave me cancer, He allows things, But I do BELIEVE HE gives comfort, healing, love, support through His word and through others.

My Angels. thank you to all my ANGELS. Words can not express how grateful I am for everything, from meals to prayers to a sweet text...I want you to know from the bottom of my heart...Thank YOU. 

Love You ALL. 

RUNDOWN
Distance: 16miles

Erin called me this morning to "Power Walk". I was down with it.
"I will run to your house and run back.." I responded
I should have waited to get the response on how far she wanted to walk.
I ran towards her house getting close to 4 miles in until I realized I was on the wrong road to her house! I had to call her to pick me up, this turned out great because I also needed her to drive me home....Because she about KILLED ME!
My run was awesome, I was running in the low 8's and feeling amazing.
Everything felt great, until it didn't. 
I saw myself running down the road in my tomorrows, I saw myself running slower, more deliberate without hair, I saw a different Anita.
An Anita with Cancer.
Tears welled in my eyes. They came so abruptly. Big tears, alligator tears streaming down my cheeks. I didn't want to be Anita, with Breast Cancer. I didn't want people to recognize me because they saw my Cancer running down the road. I had so many bigger reasons to cry, but I found this image emotionally grasping me. I gave myself 5 minutes, a tool I use to prevent myself from getting choked by emotions. Then I took a deep breath, wiped the warm tears from my chin and reminded myself how thankful I was to run in in shorts, in the misty rain.
Erin never saw anything less than a smile when she picked me up.
I did my best keep my wobble sticks walking next to her. My watch kept beeping with our miles. I thought we must me doing a loop, only we passed every road moving farther and farther from her house. When we hit Milford road, I though she might have some short cut back home. "Ok, lets turn around and go back...."
I was puttering out and confused...."wait, so we are walking back the way we came....?"
OH yeah! It was a 9 mile WALK! I still had to run at XC.
My squatty legs were TOAST when we arrived back at her house. I was cracking up, over 13 miles, there was no way I was running back home! Erin kindly drove me home. We had a very sweet time.

We had Fun.
"Deborah" my nurse today told me to keep running, to run until I can't. To listen to my body, but to keep going.
That's what I will do. With thankfulness and grace. I have so much to be thankful for.

Anita~