When it comes to running there is always going to be someone that runs faster, stronger or harder.
I looked to my right and saw "Bill K" blazing around the track.
"WHAT the "H" have I got myself into?" I heard my voices screaming in agony as I ran on the TM.
My legs were already burning and I had not even ran a mile yet. My breathing was labored and my quads were so tight. I began to get scared. Afraid I was going to fail at my goal. Afraid that maybe I was just getting too old. Afraid that I would hurt more.
Mathew 19:14 " But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”"God Please,PLEASE help me." I was begging him. I am always pleading with God. I often wonder if God thinks I am a needy. "Oh, that's Needy Nita again, what does she need now?" I am constantly asking things from him. Like a young child unable to care for themselves I continue to seek him. I go to him without Fear but in Faith. Faith of a Child.
I put the towel over the TM so I did not have to see the numbers. I thought of those that are fast. "Melanie P" doesn't even know I exist but I know her. She is a speed demon. Melanie runs ultras. I ran a run out at Pontiac Lake last summer with her only she was injured and had to turn around. She allowed herself to heal and came back as strong as ever. I thought of how she knows Strength.
"Anita, You HAVE to be STRONG. There is no other OPTION." I heard myself being coached.
That was it. We NEED to BE STRONG. Even when our Mind is weak there is a still small voice that is screaming "BE STRONG." We have to DIG in. There is NO Other Option. There is no place for WEAKNESS.
No one ever says "I want to be like them, Weak!"
I could hear these words coaching me. I could actually feel my legs going faster than the belt. I had to be Strong enough to be disciplined in the pace I was.
I thought of times when I wanted to cave into Weakness and give up. But I quickly coached myself out of that. I reminded myself of how Strong I have been over the last 16 months. I have been emotionally pummeled by hurt both physically and emotionally. People are mean. You have to be strong enough to love them anyway.
I have begged God to give me STRENGTH. I am so thankful He has an endless supply of STRENGTH that He continues to bottle feed me.
We have to get to the place we accept it. We have to see that PAIN will make us Stronger if we LET it. Sure we can have a plate of hurts and disappointments and let it dissolve us into the person we were never meant to be.
Or we can accept that Pain as part of our diet, much like vegetables that are GOOD for us!
It will help us to grow if we choose to do the work and allow it to.
I was scared to look at my distance as I felt the sweat creep down my temples.
"What if I look and it says I have only ran 3 miles?"
"Oh, God Please, Please, Keep me STRONG to finish this out."
As I removed the towel the distance read 3.99!!!
"I got this, I got this." I cheered myself on as I punched the numbers in to pick up the pace to Finish the last mile Strong.
1 Mile w/u
5 Miles 7:19 pace
1 mile c/d
YOU GOT THIS!! Whatever you are going through. Maybe it is your running. Maybe you are struggling with work, or choices that you have to make. Maybe you have been doing things that you shouldn't be doing because you think you have no the strength to stop. YOU GOT THIS!
Maybe you have had a recent loss or are struggling with family or friends. DO Not GIVE UP. Do the right thing always. Stay STONG. Dig In, Brace yourself and Seek God for the STRENGTH to Keep going when you want to quit.