The days are closing in.
One more day closer.
It is coming and there is no way to stop Father Time.
The days are getting shakier. The outcome of my days ahead are more undetermined as that day slowly approaches.
The Christmas songs are beginning to hum. Everywhere you go there is a soft echo of Christmas cheer.
But this morning at church the music was intense.
"Fall on your knees, O hear the angel voices! O night divine"
My body was overcome with emotion. My knees grew weak, I wanted to gently lay down, tearfully I sang.
With emotions resting on every word, I begged for more. But at the same time I quietly asked for the tears to stop.
My heart hurt. I wanted to be hidden. I wanted to be invisible.
Time moves and emotions softly dissolve. By the end of the service, I had my smile widened and I was totally fulfilled.
I can't help laugh at myself. I am always in the moment. Extreme. When I am sad, I live in that moment, its deep, retching, consuming.
When I am happy, I am excited, hyper, outspoken dancing outside of myself.
I accept most of my moments. I have to live in them. FEEL them. Even when it hurts.
There is always a time and a place. Emotions are great, it is controlling them that is the key and not letting them control you. That is the CHALLENGE.
I had a really "HOT" moment about a week ago. I was raging angry. I had to call a girlfriend about a running date. She could tell I was upset, I said "OK, I have RANT, UGH, give me 2 minutes, let me just go off and I will put it to rest."
After probably even less than 2 minutes, I was done, and we moved on to better news.
NOT letting that negativity control you is the most freeing feeling.
Today, full of a barrage of emotions, I was really looking forward to running. Most of my emotions stemmed from being sore from a leg workout Thursday and the reality that Winter had arrived.
I didn't have a lot of time to run. I could have ran farther but I didn't want to run alone in the cold. Thankfully, I had Lacey for a little over an hour.
Both of us were still in the hurt locker from leg workouts. Both of us felt slow. I loved knowing that I was not a lone island.
It was just so cold. My bones hurt. My skinny fingers looked aged in the bitter elements.
I got 10.5 miles in. And it only took 2 hours to quit chattering my teeth.
Let the Winter WhineFest begin!