"A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.""Call Me Crazy One More TIME." Hancock.
Ecclesiastes 3:4 (KJV)
Ecclesiastes 3:4 (KJV)
I just love that movie. That is one of my top favorite movies. And that line is spot on! I needed a RUN.
One more reason that I found myself running a 50 miler race was all the running I did over the last year. It was the best therapy a girl could ask for. I ran so much that I thought I might as well put some use to the miles. I just do not know what else to do when I get that stinking thinking. I can go and run. I can feel free from all the distractions that trip me up.
Today when I was running I thought of a scene out of Mel Gibson's "What Women Want." Helen Hunt and Mel Gibson are working on a run ad. A question is presented "What do you think SHE is thinking?"
I saw my shadow perfectly detailed on the dirt road. My pony tail was bobbing left and right and my arms were rotating mechanically by my sides. I heard myself thinking. I heard Craziness in my head. I had already ran 4 miles and the voices were still loud and confusing. I hated listening to such garbage. I hated that I let people rent space in my head. I hated that I cared. I hated that it all hurt. I hated that I still had 18 miles to go and I was running with this garbage in my head stinking up my whole run.
And then I thought. "Oh my Goodness, I read Gods word today but I never prayed." I never took all my struggles to the cross. I had fears and insecurities and hurt that I was still hanging on to. I had bitterness that was growing inside me because I enabled it to grow. I even fertilized it.
I looked around and saw the Lord. I saw him in the canopy of trees that welcomed me forward. I felt Him cool against my skin as I asked for forgiveness. I heard Him in the trees as they rustled the vibrant fall leaves. "Please Lord, Please Take this from me."
I wish I could tell you that as the birds flew over head the voices of discouragement flew away to. I was almost to 7 miles and I was in a emotional battle.
As I ran down Belford Rd I flipped through my Ipod for the perfect song to get me out of my slumber.
Then there it came...John Newman "Will you love me again"
I smiled and even felt my hips shake as I went down the dirt road. I felt so FREE. I started singing at the top of my lungs. I saw my shadow to my left as I threw my arms in the air shaking my shoulders back and forth. I skipped dancing and singing with complete JOY. "I NEED TO KNOW, KNOW NOW CAN you LOVE me AGAIN?" I sang at the top OF MY lungs. I shimmied my shoulders to the beat as I had my own dance party. I used to have dance offs' with Paula Abdul and a 5 foot mirror as a teenager. I love the feeling of dancing.
I never looked back to the distractions of life again. It took almost 10 miles to sift all that crap out of my head.
FREE. Grateful. Full of happy thoughts and prayers.
|Mo, Ariels best friend and I got inked on the 1 year. Mine is the HEART Ariel gave me in a note. I HAVE HER HEART WITH ME FOREVER.|