Organically

Not everyday is sunshine and rainbows.
or is it rainbows and unicorns?
Peachy keen and Jim Dandy?

Well whatever the case, I am going to chalk it up to a Monday.
My morning was a bit of a cluster and I can't say I ever recovered from it.

I thought I could run and it would make it better.
Not just run but really RUN. Not the cancer cautious runs I have been doing. The kind of run where you aren't afraid to hurt. Your goal is to step out of your comfort zone, push the limits and see what you have.
Well, I don't have a lot these days but I gave all I had on E. Holly Rd.

Distance: 6 miles
Pace: 8:35

This was after yesterdays long run:

Distance:; 19 miles
Pace: 10:23min/mi

"Edibles, CBD oil, the Real Stuff" :
Today my PA recommended these, all three.
For the last couple weeks I have had constant anxiety. My chest is heavy, its hard to breathe, my heart races and I can't sleep.
I believe this has a lot to do with the suppressing of my estrogen from the chemo.
I have had weekly recommendations for taking one or all three of these.

"....I lost both my parents to addiction, this just isn't an option for me...." I responded to her.

I have CANCER...I can accept being a little uncomfortable, a little sleepless, a little nauseous over taking anything to do with Marijuana, or THC.

I am not going to judge you, do as you please.

God has protected me, supplied for me, and is healing me.
I know this journey is not forever.
I watched what drugs did to my family, prescribed and not prescribed.

We have become so desensitized by this whole THC movement. Eating an edible or smoking a joint is still a mood altering substance. I don't care if it is legal.
I don't want my children doing it, I didn't want my mom and dad doing it and I am not doing it.  I want to be a testimony. I am haunted by terrible memories from it as a child, and having cancer is still not a big enough reason for me to start now.

1 Cor. 10:23 "All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful, but not all things edify."

I know that I have probably offended half my readers out there. That was not my intention. What you do is your business.
I am 45 years old, I am not a kid anymore.

1st Cor 13:11 "When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things." 

Life has so much adventure. I don't have to get high to enjoy it.  I like feeling. Not every feeling is good, but I want to feel life organically. Naturally.

I facilitate an addiction group. I have done this for over 13 years. I love on the families that have loved ones addicted to drugs or alcohol.
TRUST me when I tell you, I have held and wiped the tears from MANY loved ones whose loved ones were struggling with marijuana.
Just because I don't use or drink does not mean I am a DUD. I promise you I can hang just as long if not longer that most of you!

This is me. I just want you to know as for me, I choose not to use anything.
I choose Prayers.
I choose God to strengthen me, to encourage me, to soften my symptoms.
I choose Hope.
I choose Faith.
And I believe without a shadow of a doubt, God has supplied me with way more than a brownie coud ever do.
And if you have been following my posts, you know that to be true.

These are the things that I get so excited over. The simplicity of bees on a windflower. The lil things. 

Anita