The Good, theBad and The Ugly

THE GOOD:

I got some new kicks! I even tried something new.....Glycerin. 

I had the best morning today.
Even though I was still a snotty mess, I was excited to run. I was even excited to suffer.
I was meeting Rachel at the track for some speed work.
We had the most perfect weather, making the suckfest more tolerable.
There is something to be said about putting in hard work and how it gives you this amazing endorphin high.
When I left the track I was smiling from ear to ear.

I was so hyped up that even after checking my email for my letter from the B.A.A a half dozen times I was chilling out.
Maintaining that endorphin high just drove me to Complete Runner to buy a pair of running shoes. I was in desperate need.
It was a great morning. It wasn't even noon!

THE BAD.

I found my first journal entry when my mom went into the hospital. "I am so alone." I read that and I felt like I went back in time. I still have moments like this. You never quit missing your parents. 

That is me in the middle. I look a whole lot more Irish with that auburn hair than I look Mexican!

Still in a great mood I headed home.
September 27th. Today was my Mothers birthday. She would be almost 80 years old.
I lost my mother 26 years ago.
There is NOT a day that doesn't go by I do not miss her and all her craziness.
I miss my mother.
I sat down on the carpet in the spare bedroom. I pulled out her old pictures and my old journals and had a good old fashion cry.
I took myself back to my yesterdays. I laughed through the tears remembering when she would do cartwheels around the yard in her 40's. Or when she would fall asleep with ice cream dripping down her mouth. I remember seeing her helplessly plugged into a machine, lifeless as my world crumbled around me in a split second. Gone. No goodbyes, No, I am sorry, No, I love you mother..
So I cried.
Then I got up, wiped my nose and smiled remembering how good God has taken care of me all these years. I was a nothing, a nobody, disregarded, I didn't stand a chance in Hell....But God saw more in me than I ever saw in myself. In my tears, I continue to LOVE, I have no bitterness for my past or my pain. God gave me a future, He prepared me, He directed me out of myself.

THE UGLY.

WELL....I am officially a REJECT!
Even though I qualified for Boston, I did NOT get accepted! 7 seconds! The field was so large this year they couldn't fit all those who qualified in.

"So far, 23,074 runners have been accepted into the 2019 race. That left 7,384 runners, out of 30,458 who applied, shut out of registration, even though they did achieve the posted standards." 

According to Runners World. For the full article Boston Marathon 2019 Cutoff

It's Ok.
I will still sleep at night and the sun will still rise in the morning.
Life is about disappointments. This is the first time I have ever gotten a rejection letter from the B.A.A.
I have been very blessed to not only qualify for Boston by I have ran it 3 times.
I just wanted to run it with Lacey.
They have changed the qualifying times, 5 minutes for each age group!
It's all good in the hood.
I am currently smiling even as I type this.
And it really is in Gods timing, not to get all cliché. But when I rest on that thought it helps me go in peace.

Anita~