Just the thought of waking up to the sunshine makes me smile all over.
I didn't think I did any damage to my body on yesterdays long run.
But you would have thought I had ran a marathon at a BQ-ing pace the way my body responded on my run today.
I knew my run with Danielle was going to be special for multiple reasons. The sun started my day. As I was almost into Kensington Metro park Lacey called and she called as a half dozen deer came out in front of my truck. 3 of them turned back into the woods where they came from. I put Lacey on speaker phone as I snapped pictures. I love chatting with my friends and I LOVE seeing deer. 2 awesome moments as I headed to another adventure with Danielle.
Danielle suggested we run the loop backwards.
It didn't matter how sunny, how many deer, how awesome my company was, I was so fatigued.
Danielle was so gracious with my recovery run.
I hadn't felt this bad on a run in a long time. I had a million reasons why and I am sure they all played a part.
I write. I try to dissect my thoughts.
The crappy part about being so "high energy" is when your not "HIGH".
YOU are LOW.
I will come out of this. But it has a hold on me. I will smile if I see you, laugh even. You may never detect it.
But I am seriously struggling. Tears are welling up, my heart is beating all over.
Its a pit.
I want to escape for just a few days. I need to be away from even myself. I scare even myself. I don't recognize me. Its a constant anxiety attack.
Tomorrow is a new day. I am on day 3 of this pit. Hoping tomorrow will be better.