I will never forget that look Alec had during the Boston bombings. He was shaking and pale. His little body was helpless to the fear that overtook him. His voice wasn't even recognizable. Tears saturated his innocent cheeks. It is the worst feeling in the world to not just be overcome by fear but to not be able to tame your child's fear.
My heart was beating outside my chest as people screamed and ran. The unknown gave birth to not just fear but paralyzing dread.
Growing up, my family was decorated in addiction. So many days, FEAR came unwelcomed. It hurt. My stomach turned, my hands shook, I would cry till even that hurt. It was the unknown that disabled you. It was the lack of control that terrorized you.
"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your GOD. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
"We Demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we TAKE CAPTIVE EVERY THOUGHT to make it obedient to Christ."
With 5 days out from my marathon I have been reunited with FEAR.
When I just think about lining up for 26.2 miles my heart skips a beat. I can feel butterflies in my belly and my hands start to sweat.
I think "What have I gotten myself into."
"Can you do this Nita?"
"Will my body stay strong and healthy?"
"Will my mind stay strong, can I overcome the voices that want to discourage me?"
"Is God listening to my prayers?" "Will he show me 'Great and Mighty things'?"
"I will Instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." Psalm 32:8
Its more that just running 26.2 miles. Yes, that is ALOT but there is more.
It is running hard. I am going to push my body and mind beyond its limits. As I type these words, I can feel the tears falling down my cheeks. FEAR comes in waves.
It is going to hurt, so bad. And yet it is going to feel so good. It is humbling to know that I will be overcoming FEAR and truly resting on GOD to bring me into the Finish.
I am trying, again, to be grateful in my FEAR. My Fear has brought me to GREAT and MIGHTY things.
My Fear has Humbled me. Reminded me that I am NOT...
BIB NUMBER 921
Fear is a tool to bring me to my knees. FEAR reminds me of who I AM NOT and who HE is.
Asking you to remember me in prayer. Thank you, Giving God all the Glory.