"Hot Date"

Philippians 4:13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

I was in good spirits today, I usually am but today I was more excited than normal.
Today, I would have my first of 25 radiation treatments.
I have been counting the days down like a little kid going to Disneyland. I am tackling this with my gloves on. I am not done fighting yet. God gave me a breather and now he's pushing back into the ring.

I had my markers tattooed a couple weeks ago and my dry run was last Friday.
244 seconds of scanning and about 6 and a half minutes of radiation, all in the same machine.
It takes me longer to dress, undress and find my keys!
My radiation is the same time Monday-Friday, 10:30am, my new "hot date".

I was able to get a loop in at Holly rec before my Hot Date. I even got my shower and lubed my body up to prepare for the burn.

The ladies were so welcoming and I was all smiles until I saw the familiar box that told me I was getting poked.

OUCH!!!!

"UGH, YUCK MOM!"

I have to have everything done on my left side now, shots, blood pressure, because I had the nodes removed on my right side. This is forever.
I did not know I had to have a blood draw. UGH. I wanted to run across the hall to the chemo room and get Deb. She is my girl. She gave me all my blood draws and the only one I trusted. But I pulled up my big girl pants and acted like I was "FINE".
Mom and Andy were with me. They weren't holding my hand but mom would have if I asked. Andy just hangs out in the doorway rolling his eyes at my goofy jokes to the male nurse. Humor relaxes me.

From there the gals brought me back to "remove everything from the waste up and put this gown on, open in the back..."

Andy wanted to come back and watch everything, they looked at me "Yeah, if that if ok with her.."
I laughed, "..yeah, he can come back!"

Within minutes, I was changed and being placed in a big tubular thing, the kind you get cat scans with. Three gals were there to assist, direct and teach me the process I would be doing for the next 5 weeks.
As I laid down, they lowered my gown to my waist exposing my chest and slowly the machine sucked me in.

244 seconds later I was brought back out where the gals were there to check on me and then back in I went for radiation.
The noise started at my feet and moved circular around my body. It sounded like a motorcycle revving up.
I just laid there and closed my eyes. I took myself out of reality. I placed my mind in a place far away, anywhere but the present. I took myself away from fears, hurts, anxiety. I wandered into a place that made me smile, a place that made me happy, a place that couldn't hurt me. I did this until like only a breath was taken I was being pulled back out again.
Radiation number 1, DONE!

I went back into my dressing room. Before I dressed, I reached into my radiation bag that I made and lubed my body back up with Bag Balm.

I met mom and Andy and we went to meet Dr, Miller, she was seeing Dr. Boike's patients while he was on vacation.

She recommended I use aloe and Aquaphor.

Radiation Side Effects:

• Skin burning, blistering
• fatigue (Your body is fighting a foreign substance) 

Most of the side effect will come later. 

Recommendations:

• Rest
• Drink lots of fluid
• Aloe, Aquaphor, constantly lathering in lotion
• Be Kind to Yourself ( this was my favorite tip given to me) 

My "Hot Date" will get hotter as time goes on. Its accumulative. 

It is important to stay positive, focusing on anything other than negativity. And even when my mind goes there finding a positive spin on it. 

Ex: My skins going to burn...."That's Ok Anita, it won't last forever...." 

And with that, We are back at it tomorrow! 

Psalm 37:4-5 Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. ⁵Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this:

Collison: Cat's out of the bag....

I joined  CRU. This is a group out of Complete Runner in Flint. We had our official meeting Saturday night. They had all of us tell our 2020 goals. Well....It's out there now...I am going to try to requalify for Boston. 

Shake my head. 

A girl can dream.

Truth be told I am scared to DEATH. Tears well up in my eyes I am so scared. 

Is it too lofty of a dream? 

Too hard to accomplish coming out of cancer? 

Am I being ridiculous thinking I can do such a thing? 

I can't even run a 8:30min/mi without almost throwing up. 

Only God Knows. Only God willing will I be able to pull this off. It will be His strength, His will, but my Determination. 

I am going to fight hard for this. 

Lacey has helped me get my long run up to 15 miles. SLOWWW and steady. At mile 14, I thought about this dream, we hit that last mile at a 8:30min/mi. 

It was fear and adrenaline driving me. I am going to concentrate on getting my base miles in for January. Running the best I can through radiation. But not pressuring myself or killing myself. 

February will start the real training. 

Commit to not letting your fears define your boundaries.

Anita