Catching you up to speed..

The CUTEST chemo hat EVER. Flipside hats make "Wellness" hats for woman. 

When you get through cancer you "Pass along" your wraps and hats to someone else. I just learned this. 

I have been just walking out of the house with my bare head. 90' weather and head wraps is like walking around with a burn pit on my head. This chemo crap has my body running hot as it is. I have always LOVED the heat, now I find myself tucked away in the air conditioning. At night, I am waking up drenched in sweat. They told me that the chemo would throw me into menopause, I am not sure what that means exactly. They said I would have probably only 2 menstrual cycles but they said NOTHING about the fire my body has been in. 

Catching you up to speed. 

Last Wednesday I went in for my weekly blood work. I saw DR. Q again. He went over my blood work commenting that it all looked normal. 

Andy disagreed. "What about Anita's Hemoglobin? It is down to a 9?" 

And just so nonchalant Dr. Q responds, "Yes, that's normal, If it doesn't come up we will give her a blood transfusion." 

My mind about exploded! "NO, I do not want a blood infusion, what can I do?" 

Seriously, it might be normal to an oncologist to just hand out blood transfusions but this is not normal for me.  

For that matter NONE of this is normal. For Petes Sake, I am still in a fog, this whole cancer thing still seems like a bad nightmare. I HATE IT. My Rant. I hate getting poked every week, I hate that ugly a$$ port sticking out of my bony chest. I hate trying to get used to being sick. I hate feeling so vulnerable, so weak. I HATE it. 

BUT....I LOVE all the love I have gotten to get me through this Hell so gracefully. 

* I showed him my infected toe. And AGAIN it got more attention. 

"Anita, you can not run, if that gets infected you will have to postpone chemo....." 

I just smiled thinking, "Huh..you cant tell me not to run, I feel good, this is my good week, now your going to take my run away..." 

REASON #274 why I hate cancer, I hate being told what to do!

"Anita, you told me you would run until you couldn't run anymore, and I agreed, now is one of those times you can't run...." Andy pleaded with me. 

From right to left, 4 days of UGLY toe....

I didn't RUN. 

RUNDOWN:

June 17-23: Chemo week: 32miles

June 24-30: Infected toe: 37.5

I did a  lot of walking in these two weeks, 7 miles of waking/hiking. 

Running/walking each mile really is a gift. There isn't a mile that I am not grateful for. I NEVER thought I could do what I am doing, I am beyond blessed. 

I have so many people say how good I look, I am a ADVOCATE for exercising. It makes you glow. You feel stronger, healthier and it cleans your mind out. Oh, trust me when I say it isn't easy. I have to drag myself out the door, I run uncomfortable a lot. Achy, bloated, fatigued and nauseas, but if I can get out there....So can YOU! 

Be Brave: 

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

My aunt Lois sends me cards every week. In each of the cards she sends me a inspirational rock. The last two themes have coincided with other encouragement I have gotten the SAME day. 

three weeks ago, "Be STILL" . Both her and my sister sent me the SAME scripture and I received them on the same day. 

This week, BRAVE. 

Chemo last week a lady comes into the treatment room, and yells "You are BRAVE". You might remember the story from my last post. Well, she was referring to my head without any wrap on it. Well...She put HER hat in an envelope and this week when I got my blood work, Tammy my nurse gave me it. That lady had her LAST treatment and wanted me to have her hat because I was wearing camouflage too. Brave. 

This one chokes me up a bit. I try so hard to wear my cape and be Brave. Ahh, ask Lacey about that one, last week before chemo I had a breakdown in her kitchen. I was so scared. I didn't want to go to chemo, I didn't want to get poked. I didn't want to feel that poison penetrating ever good cell and every bad cell in my body. I didn't want to hurt. I didn't want to be sick, so I cried. 

This is WHY I run before Chemo. I NEED to run, I need to get my head in the game. I need to clench my fists , dig my heals in and stick my middle finger up at this whole cancer thing. I need to get angry and FIGHT. 

That's what I do. I FIGHT. Now is not the time to give up. I have fought bigger battles than this. 

I get knocked down but I am fighting to get back UP. 

Another round, another mile in this marathon. 

Be BRAVE, Keep fighting whatever battle your in. 

One mile to the next mile, get back up, take a breath and get back out there. 

Anita

#itsjustanothermarathon