This was the first year in several years that I did not spend it inside a basketball gym.
The driving, the hotels, the sweaty smell of perspiration and athletes foot mixed with fast food, late night dinners and junk food was actually missed.
|My Origami from Alec|
However, waking up to coffee in bed, having my boys home, and walking into church as a family, a crazy dysfunctional family, was very nice.
I never planned motherhood the way it planned for me to be a mother.
I was young, dumb and broke.
Things haven't changed much accept age!
There is no greater love and heartbreak than being a mother. It is by far one of the hardest jobs. I have failed many times. I have cried tears of joy and cried tears of brokenness.
And I will continue to as long as I am a mother.
Tears lightly rolled down my eyes as the music played. I didn't know where the tears were coming from. Without warning my cheeks began to feel wet with warmth streaming down my face.
I tried to blot them as quickly as they rolled to save my makeup I had worked so hard on.
Why am I crying? I looked at my boys to my right. I looked at my mother in law to my left. I felt Andys hands holding mine tighter.
I felt so blessed. I felt so undeserving. I felt so honored to be a mother.
I still missed mine.
Church came to a close. Together we all walked out, heading to the car.
"So, where are we headed now?" Andy asked.
Without hesitation, and yet without even thinking about it I responded "Can we go see my mother?"
I can not think of a Mothers Day that we have ever drove out to Rochester, Christian Memorial to see my mother as a family.
It made my day. To have the boys see their grandmothers resting place meant more to me than I realized. For many reasons. More reasons than I think even I realized.
I am tapering for Highland Loops this coming Saturday. Tomorrow I am running 17 miles. This is a lot to run the week of the race. My thought process on this goes as follows:
1. Mohican 50M is in 4 weeks.
2. I need to get my miles up.
3. I am not racing Highland Loops as my sole race rather using it as a training run for Mohican.
That being said. I kept my miles down today. I was excited Lacey was able to run with me. I needed the accountability. My family had dinner at Shepherds Hollow Golf course and I was in a food coma when we left there this afternoon. Had Lacey not got me running I would have been FOB on the couch.
Lacey decided since I was cutting my miles short I should run HILLS. She is MEAN. Mohican AINT not JOKE. We have a lot of hills, hurt and hard miles to run.
From the time I started running until we finished my stomach was battling. My food was not digested, the running was not a pleasant feeling. Then the hills were not so much fun either. I am not sure HOW our pace was this decent considering the hills we climbed and the hills we walked!
Each hill we came to I was reminding myself..."MOHICAN,MOHICAN....."
I Loved this line from Austins Mothers Day Letter to me.
"....you have taught me more than any teacher and have loved me like no girl will ever be able to. You are my first love mother."