That DIDN'T go as planned.

My run this morning started out sideways. I should have turned around in the beginning.

I couldn't make up my mind on how many miles that I wanted to run. Originally, 20 miles was in my plan.
But my coffee was so good, the couch was so cozy and my fuzzy owl pjs were in no hurry to come off.
I looked at Hal Koerners taper miles. He trains a very different plan. Hal runs 6 days a week with smaller long runs. This training plan doesn't work well for me because of my work schedule. I use his plan to navigate my weekly miles. I run longer  daily miles but have days to recover in between.
But as I examined his Wednesday miles, I liked his digits better than mine. I started bowing out.

The battle began there. 
I fought it. Back and forth too long. I should have been out of the house. And without another thought I jumped up, quickly getting my act together.
20 Miles. Suck it up Anita. Get it DONE.

I was out the door, better late than never.  Or so I thought...

My Plan:
First five miles: Nice easy warm up: Pace as close to 10min/mi.
Second 5miles: Pace between 10-10:30min/mi
Third 5 miles: 30 second walk breaks every mile, average pace between 10-10:30min/mi.
4th and last 5miles: 60second walk breaks every mile. Average pace between 10:30-11min/mi.

NOT IN MY PLAN:
The first hour the skies opened up. Not even a mile into my run I felt rain sprinkling on me. The cross guard, an elderly man whom I just love, jumped out in front of me with his hand spread wide "You better run faster, its gonna rain!". Passing him I turned around, running backwards, laughing, "Too LATE, I can feel it coming down!"

HOLY Turkeys

Within my first 7 miles I was DRENCHED.
"It's good training Nita, it could rain all day at Hennipen." I told myself.  I was at least prepared with a hat on to prevent the rain from getting in my face. I also had my phone in a ziplock bag to protect it from all the rain. I didn't have a dry stitch of clothing.

And just like that, the rain stopped.

Feeling good about my second 5 miles, I found myself running and smiling. Holly was more friendly than usual. The post man chatted with me, the garbage man cheered me on and even the local police officer waved at me.

Going into my third five is where it REALLY FELL APART.
I was drinking fluids well. But I hadn't taken any nutrition. I had a Gingerade Gu that I struggled swallowing. It was THICK, WARM and stuck in my mouth. I couldn't gulp it down. I squeezed almost the entire pack into my mouth and quickly chugged it down. It was like a lemony slug caught in my throat. I knew I needed it, I washed it down with water and tried to forget the entire experience.

I was staying on pace.
Alec started texting. He needed me to pick him up. Because I left the house late I was not done running in time to pick him up from school. I was 6 miles from the high school. Panicking, I called Lacey. She is so good to me. She left work and grabbed him.
It was so hard to stay on pace and make life work.

At mile 16, It all went to HELL in a Hand basket.
I felt my sugar dropping. I slowed down, and eventurally all together stopped. I had ravaged through my hydration vest looking for my Honey Stinger waffle. It was no where. But I did find a half a bag of cashews. I knew I was in trouble.

I started running and could feel my body getting confused. I started tapping my fingers, I do this when I am running to try and stay composed.

I was running the backroads, I had less than 3 miles home. Traffic was heavy, everyone was so polite, waving and smiling, I just wished one of them could have thrown me a Snickers.

I knew the peanuts were not going to SNAP me out of it. I dug in more pockets and discovered some Lifesavers. I chewed them, hoping they would work quickly.

“It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.” Confucius 

Nothing was working fast.
I was walking more than I was running.
I crossed over Grange Hall rd thinking of all the scenerios I could to get me through the few miles.

I finally called Alec. He had a half day.
About a mile and a half from home, 3 miles still to run I texted Alec.

"Alec can you start walking towards ++++++ rd with an orange juice. My sugar dropped and I'm not very good right now.
He responded "I'm taking the car, I'll be safe, be there soon."

Within minutes I saw my truck coming down the dirt road.
I was so happy to see that beautiful brown eyed boy. He had apple and orange juice for me.
"MOM, how many miles are you doing? How far are you going? Why don't you jump in and I will take you home?"

"Alec, I am gonna walk it home, I was supposed to do 20 miles but when I get home I am going to call it IN!"

And that is exactly what I did!

FIRST 5
1. 9:49
2. 9:53
3. 9:59
4. 9:39
5. 9:39
SECOND 5
6. 10:06
7. 9:51
8. 9:55
9. 9:51
10. 9:47
THIRD 5
11. 10:06
12. 10:07
13. 10:11
14. 10:11
15. 10:48----a puppy came out to play with me!
FORTH 5
16. 10:17
17. 11:41
18. 13.01
.05. 12:54

Total Miles: 18.5
Time: 3H 12min
Avg pace: 10:21/mi
Calories: 1,699

Well, That didn't go as planned. 
Such is life. I had plenty of time to think about this run. Over 3 hours. I thought about bailing on my training, doing the easy. I thought about the rain, pouting I convinced myself it was good training.
With each interruption during my run I thought maybe I should just forget my goals.
I even thought about jumping in the truck with Alec and quitting, after all, my run was a mess.

My hero for the day!

THIS is life isn't it? Life throws a few punches at us and we quickly find a way to bow out. We even find ways to justify it.
This run was not the perfect scenario. It was HARD. It was hard to focus and even harder to stay consistent.
Today was my MOM's birthday. She would be 78 years old. I thought about my mom. I reminded myself NOT to EVER EVER give up. NO matter what. I wish my mom could see how hard I work.
My running these ridiculous races is who I am. I cant help it. At 43 years old, I am still a child fighting all of hell like I did as a kid. I can't help it. It is a character defect I am sure. Growing up the way I did. I fight, I push the limits, I test myself, push myself and remind myself to always FIGHT, Always work hard, challenging yourself to see what I am able to do.
25 years later, I miss my mom like yesterday.
Life doesn't always go as planned. Life is full of change. If we can not accept change we choose to stop moving in a forward direction. Sometimes life stings, there are many growing pains, But if we don't find peace in the process we will find ourselves bitter and without hope.
Find something good in all things.

Anita.