Dear Ariel

Dear Ariel,
I'm sorry, I cried myself to sleep last night. Well actually, I couldn't stop crying so I actually had to take a little sleep aid.
I went to bed early. I crawled under the sheets in the dark. Curled up in the fetal position I just sobbed. It just shook my body. I begged God to take it away from me. I pleaded to make it stop. My stomach was nauseas and my head was pounding but I just couldn't stop. I miss you so bad.
Life is not the same. I miss your love.

I thought it would be better today. What was I thinking. I looked at the clock waiting...
I saw myself walking to the front desk at work. I heard Andys voice...I couldn't understand what he was saying.
I fell limp on that cold tile floor.
It was yesterday, I don't have any powers to bring you back. I am just so confused on what happened.
Just like my father and my mother, I didn't get to say goodbye, I didn't get to touch you, smell you, tell you "I love you."

I am sorry. I tried today to be happy. Ok, I lied. I didn't try. I didn't even care.
Without words.
guilty.
Broken
sick, my hands shook at the grocery store. The cashier kept looking at me. My eyes were swollen and my cheeks were red. I didn't bother putting make up to cover my grief.
I miss you.
One day I will see you. I KNOW you are in Heaven. I love you.

Just trying to breath. What I would always tell you when you cried in my arms. Breath.

Aunt Nita

P.S.
I opened google on my phone. You TUMBLER came up..Really? I never followed you on tumbler, why did you put them in my phone TODAY?
What were you telling me??
BTW...you were right, I would always let you come to be with me. You WERE my family. You never had to feel alone.