"But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."
I have been giving 100% effort to push out 75% productivity.
I actually made a Dr.s appointment for today to find out why I am not sleeping. I had a few other issues that I addressed and forgot to ask about my sleep issues.
I got poked enough that I thought I might start leaking.
No news until my blood work comes back. HOWEVER, Good news, I weighed in at 105 LBS! It must be that Peanut Brittle my client Bill makes me every year. AMAZING and worth every pound.
My last few runs it has taken EVERYTHING in me to lace up. I am normally taking December down a few notches and running for the FUN of it.
RUNNING is fun, that's what I know best. Its what I like the most. I am a runner, that's what we do.
I am tired of the training part.
I am tired of that VOICE saying "GET OUT THERE."
This morning I was a total mess. I couldn't finish a sentence without interrupting myself. As I went to check on the eggs on the stove I realized I left the refrigerator door open. "Hmm, what was I getting in the fridge?" Back to the eggs. I heard the dog whining, I forgot to let her out. "OH CRAP the eggs." My coffee sat on the counter forgotten about and getting cold. And then the kids came into the kitchen to add more voices to the ones that were already chaos in my mind.
No matter what I knew I needed to hear Gods Voice above my own. I needed to run. Even though I didn't want to do anything other that crawl back in bed and try the morning all over again, I knew I needed to run.
I was scatterbrained and discouraged by my mistakes and behavior. I was mad at myself that I couldn't just flip a switch and have it "ALL together".
I felt broken.
I felt like a lemon. I had so much wrong with me, could we just turn my mind in for a new model.
I could hear a still small voice.
"Pull it together, lace up your shoes, calm down and RUN Anita."
I lost my keys, then I lost my phone. Alec was patiently waiting in the car for me. I lost the charger to my Garmin. This is charger #2. I wanted to hit myself over the head. I was supposed to be going to the gym. Frantically searching my mind and the house, I found everything BUT my charger.
I dropped Alec off at school and came home to run. I was to frazzled.
My body fought me for 3 miles. The chatter in my mind slowly dissolved. The fog started to lift.
I instantly gave thanks to God.
This time of year many of us struggle. We have lost loved ones. We suffer from grief, heart break, confusion, finances and relationships.
Our hormones are out of whack and the dreary days suck the leftover life right out of us.
It might take EVERYTHING you have to get out of bed.
It might take EVERYTHING you have to LACE up your shoes and run.
It might even take EVERTHING you have to SMILE.
BUT don't give up. Don't quit trying.
Don't go for PERFECTION, Go for PERSISTENCE, PERSEVERENCE.
Distance: 7 miles
I was fueled by a runner friend of mine, ERIN'S husband. He honked his horn and shared the BIGGEST smile as he drove by.
And when I got home I found my charger, I went directly to it, it was right where I left it!