Setting Boundaries

4 Miles. I ran 4 miles with Erin. She text me last night to see if I wanted to run with her this morning. I love running with people. I miss running with partners. For that matter, I miss a lot these days.

1. I miss running with Danielle
2. I miss running mileage
3. I miss running with passion
4. I miss running speedy
5. I miss being sore from running
6. I miss running pain free
7. I miss hills and repeats and tempo runs and all that goes along with the hard training.

Oh Jeesh, I miss so much. I am thankful that I can run at all. I am just trying to maintain some kind of miles to be able to run the Detroit Marathon in the fall.
I worry about if I will be able to run the marathon.
I worry about if I will be able to train pain free.
I worry about if I will be able to run the CRIM, which I have not even signed up for yet.
I hate that I even worry about all this. But I do.

I tell people all the time to not worry, and I am not good at doing it myself.

Even outside of running, There is so much stress going on with the home front.

Running has always been my best outlet. It is my quiet time with myself and God. But I struggle with that time because the pain interrupts my thoughts.

Running has allowed me to organize facts from emotions. It has allowed me to discern others peoples emotions that they try to direct at me.
It is always a challenge to do the right thing when it feels wrong. And sometimes it feels wrong to do the right thing.
But it is THE RIGHT THING.

The Thoughts RUNNING In My HEAD:
I can not engage in negativity, purposely.  We all have issues. Some of us choose to work on them and some of us choose to blame others for how we feel or the place we are in.
BUILD A BRIDGE AND GET OVER IT.
God knows I have a plenty of people I could blame a million bad choices I have made on.
But in the end..They were MY choices.
I CHOOSE what I will do with the cards I am dealt with. I choose who I let love me or hurt me.
I choose to be happy or sad in my circumstances.
I choose who I want in my circle.

And MY CIRCLE has to consist of people who LOVE ME. People who are going to make me a better person. I am not a VICTIM. I don't play that card. If someone doesn't like me or is nasty to me I am NOT going to invite them in my CIRCLE to continue to bleed negativity and hurt into my life.
I MAKE the CHOICE though.
I have to find the courage to stay clear of those who are discouraging, hurtful, discontent and HAPPY to bring me down to their level.

Proverbs 15:1

"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."   

Have the Courage to set boundaries. Make them in LOVE, not with bitterness or resentment. Love your enemies and pray for them. It is not always easy to love those who are not nice to you, you can love them from a healthy distance often times better.
Boundaries are not set up to keep you OUT, they are set up to keep ME in the best place I can be.
They are made not to punish, hurt or discipline others, they are set up to strengthen, build, and recover who I am supposed to be.
Boundaries are not designed in fear, hate or anger, but in love, courage and healing.

Anita

Plunger Therapy!

My Day and Thoughts in 3 Parts:

BIKING: I was in the hurt locker when I started out on my bike this morning. I wanted to go check out Rose Oaks trails.

It was almost 4 miles to get there.
The boys borrow my bike and are always messing with the gears. For the most part of the way to the park I was trying to tweak my gears. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with them, I was having a hard time pedaling. I came to the conclusion the gears were fine, it was ME that was having a hard time! My legs were Jello from yesterdays 11 mile run. Wimpy wimpy wimpy. I was a bit discouraged.

Approaching the trails I was getting more and more excited. It was stunning. My eyes were bouncing off one magnificent scene right into another. The smells of the woods, the heat of the morning and the landscape created by God was almost to much to handle. I pedaled faster wanting to see more.

It was not long that in all that beauty I discovered a BEAST. Better yet, the beast discovered ME.
I was getting eaten alive by TRACKER JACKERS!

Maybe they were just flesh eating black flies. They were in serious swarms all around me.
I brought water and used the trail maps to navigate my way through the woods. Just when I was thinking I was Columbus with the maps I found myself lost. Well, I guess that is correct too though.
I hated getting off my bike to figure out on the map where I was, or wasn't due to the horrible attack of the feasting flies.
The trails are located in between 3 lakes. This explains the bug infestation.
I began to get concerned for time, so I pedaled faster. I pedaled even faster when I noticed the bugs weren't keeping up as much. Burning quads or bitten by flying beasts...Quads hands down.

Biking: 12.5 miles.
Half a dozen bites and a great farmers tan!

The Toilet Plunger:

I had a 1pm visit with Clint. I brought The Plunger! He actually used it on his guy patient first. His assistant brought it over to me. She lubed it all up and squished it on my leg. The suction seemed better than the guys. I guess they are going to have to shave their clients legs to get optimal results!
Clint would move the plunger down my It band holding the suction. It reminded me of how my legs felt like Jello all over again!

You could actually feel the suctioning. I was laughing most of the time at the thought of having a toilet plunger sucking my legs. I was really laughing at the thought of them removing the suction to discover a 6 inch hicky on my leg.

My Thoughts;
Wikipedia:  Jealousy is an emotion, and the word typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something of great personal value, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness and disgust.

Most of us struggle with this emotion in one place of another. But there is a KEY word I like in the definition: Emotion.

For me, I have struggled with it in different arenas. There are days, weeks even when life is smooth sailing. Then it just takes one comment, one situation, one photo that messes me up and I am left feeling, discouraged, damaged and doubtful. It all starts with being DISTRACTED.
We become distracted when:

1. Others behaviors and NOT our OWN.
2. We focus on choices made by SOMEONE else.
3. We focus on the PROBLEM not the SOLUTION.

Keep Your Eyes focused on GOD and His will rather than circumstances you can or cannot control.
Jealousy and envy lead you into a pit of discouragement and doubt. You then become hostage to yourself and hurtful to others.
Run Your Own Race.

"Discouragement is dissatisfaction with the past, distaste for the present and distrust for the future. It is ingratitude for the blessings of yesterday and indifference for the opportunities of today. it is insecurity regarding strength for tomorrow. " William A. Ward

Anita

No Shame

Running at 1pm in the afternoon, in the middle of July is not the smartest idea. Running in the heat NOT hydrated is even more of a nut job move.

Andy had 15 miles to run today.
I had 11 miles in HOPES to run today!

I jumped in with Andy after he had completed a little over 4 miles. We both took water and we dumped one water bottle on the path to have coming home.

My It band was irritating me basically the whole time.
Today, was a different run for me.
My husbands, Aunt Lois from Chicago was recently diagnosed with NON Hodgkin's Lymphoma. The news has been devastating. She is going through a barrage of emotions. From sadness, to fear, to acceptance to being hopeful, Aunt Lo is trying to grasp this terrible diagnosis.

Aunt Lois is right next to me~

No matter how much pain I was going to have, I was determined to RUN for HER. I was going to ask God to give me Strength, the same Strength I was going to ask HIM to give her on her  difficult journey.
I thought of the different things I wanted God to supply me with. They were identical to the things I was praying He would supply HER with also.

• Strength
• Endurance
• Healing
• Courage
• Determination

I Dedicated my 11 mile Run to Aunt Lois.
HOWEVER, I almost didn't make it.

But whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”    John 4:14

 

Andy hit HIS wall at HIS mile 11. I think the whole building and the wall fell on him. He ran out of water, was running like a drunkard and was grunting unfamiliar sounds. He had taken his shirt off which is something he would NEVER do. I knew that for him to run half naked he was hot.

We were running 5:1 intervals. We were running a beautiful route in the back roads. A route I had never taken before. It is hard to grasp the beauty when you are in pain. We came out of the dirt road into full sun and heat. The paved road had no shoulder. This is where I began to notice Andy was struggling. He was coming really close to oncoming traffic. He was running on the white line as though he didn't see the cars inches away from him. I yelled at him a couple times as we were coming up place a of elevation. He grumbled something and collapsed in the shade. I looked at him and he looked blazed. He was out of water, his breathing was erratic and his eyes were bloodshot.
I quickly gave him the rest of my water. "DRINK, drink as much as you need."
My mind was racing. How was I going to get him to our water drop over 2 miles away?
I coaxed him back up. I gave him places to focus on. "Just get down the hill, Andy."  Then I would add "Relax and breath"

We managed to make it to our water dump stop. Andy ran in front of a car. I apologized to the driver and went to find the bottle of water.
I found the bottle and gave it all to Andy but managed a swig for myself.  I had hydrated throughout the morning, Andy had not. I had even asked him if he was going to drink some water. "No, I am fine." He replied
He didn't look so FINE now!
That water was gone within a mile.

As we finished up our last 2 miles, we were running through town. Mrs, Melero, one of the teachers at my kids school was coming out of her car. She looked at us and said "HI!'
She must have sensed something was not right. She asked Andy if she could get him some water. Without hesitation Andy yells "OH YES, Yes, You are such an ANGEL."
He walked right into her house as she filled up his bottle. I laughed at his half naked heat stroked body desperate for water. Mrs. Melero asked if she could fill mine up too. "No, thank you, we are almost home." Quickly Andy intervenes, "Yes, that would be great!"
I Thought I would DIE! Andy is normally so reserved was not at all shy now.

We thanked her repeatedly.
A couple feet away from her house Andy says "Anita, I think she was a ANGEL sent from God! Just for me and you know I don't think like that!" Then he added several times "An Angel.."

We made it home. Andy just about had a heat stroke but I don't think he will ever run in the heat without planning better hydration again.
I was DONE. The route we did had several hills. Hills and IT band friction are not a good combination.

RUNDOWN;
Distance:11 miles
Intervals: 5:1
Pace: 10:27
Headed to Gym after taking care of Andy and making him a recovery drink.
Iced for 15 minutes
Stretch and roll.

I dedicate todays RUN to Aunt LOIS, and many more. One step at a time, day by day, with courage and strength.

Anita

My Safe Place

I double booked my appointments today. Not like that is a  shocker.
I made a massage appointment and a PT appointment both at 1pm.

My massage was able to be moved back, therefore everything worked out. I am not getting the kind of massage you drool over. They are mainly focusing on my IT band and legs. It is actually quite painful.

My Physical Therapy with Clint Verran today went well. Like last week Clint asked me how I was doing. My response remained the same, "UGH".

His office was rather quiet. Clint likes to talk in groups. Laying down on the table Clint talks to me and whoever else is in the clinic. It is very entertaining. I learn a lot about running and injuries. Getting PT with Clint is great for not only recovery but also for training because he is such an elite and full of info. He works as a coach for me in many ways. Don't tell him though because that is extra!

While I was getting my It band raked with Clint's elbow a guy walks in. He was a younger man with dark hair. I was watching him stare at "Clints wall". This is a wall in the waiting room with a large poster of Clint running the Boston marathon. He came in 10th place that year! He has some other accolades as well as several dozen medals.

After a few minutes Clint invited this man over to us. Clint asked if I was "Ok" about talking about my case. I am a open book. Anxious to hear what was going to be said, I quickly responded, "Yes, that's fine."

Hungry for Coaching;

THE GUYS Background: Marines. Training for Special Forces, does a lot of lifting and weight training, runs a 5k every other day at a 6 minute pace.
The Guys Compliant: He was describing IT band symptoms.
I listened intently to the dialogue between Clint and THE GUY. He asked questions like:

1. Should I run Faster?
2. Should I lift more? Doing more Squats?
3. I get pain when I do step ups, should I not do those anymore?
4. I have to run a certain time for my training, what if I can't do it?
5. How do I get that time for the distance I have to achieve?
6. What if I have a flare up for my test and can not accomplish the time I am supposed to get?
7. What does that Roller do?
8. How do I get faster?

As I listened to all his questions I began to figure out his purpose. This guy didn't need a Physical Therapist, He WANTED a COACH.
He was in the marines. He was used to someone telling him what to do and how to do it. And he got the results he needed. This Guy wanted someone to do the same for him with RUNNING. He was a gifted runner. But he knew nothing about running expect to lace up his shoes and GO! Knowing what he knew worked well for him all this time until the passion for running exceeded the discipline of running. He no longer wanted to just RUN. He wanted to have purpose running. Before Running served a purpose, now running was the purpose.
He was hungry to know more to learn more and to try more.
Clint would listen to his questions that came right out of Running 101. Clint very gently answered his questions or had me answer them. I loved all his questions. His interest to learn more ignited my passion to run. But also to coach, to encourage.

RUNNING 101: 5 BASIC TIPS

1. Check YOUR shoes: You will never enjoy running if you end up broken. Go to a PROFESSIONAL RUNNING STORE for your first pair of shoes and get fitted properly.
2. CHANGE it UP: Go to the track and do repeats, run through your neighborhood and do fartleks, find a running partner and meet once a week to run, lengthen your distance, speed up your pace
3. Stretching and icing is NOT cliche': Add them to your runs
4. Minutes NOT Miles; NEW RUNNERS, don't think on terms of miles think on terms of minutes when first starting out.
5. Subscribe to Runners World or purchase some running books to give you some encouragement, inspiration and training tips.

I have been running for about 12 years now. I read a lot, I listen a lot, I watch videos and even after 12 years of running I am still eager to learn. I love being a coach but I also LOVE being Coached.

HERE's What I learned TODAY.
Next week I am going to be Clint's guinea pig for a new procedure! Check it out here:
The Plunger

BIKEDOWN:15 miles.
I thought my day was going well. I was biking through town on my way to the state park.  When I arrived in the haven of the park something happened. Tears came streaming down my face. I have so many burdens right now that are really pulling on my heart strings. I have pressures that I have been trying to resolve with a good attitude. I have demons that haunt me every so often. And Ariel, I just lost all reservations that I didn't know I had.  
Being outside in the middle of Gods country is my Safe Place. I can be at the feet of God. The Bible says "Every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that I am LORD."  The farther away from this world I get the more I am brought to my knees in HIS creation. I Feel HIM, I See HIM, I Hear HIM. In my safe place, my place of refuge deep in the woods hidden from human life I am broken. I am free to relieve my innermost feelings. As my heart mumbles He interprets and comforts me. As my prayers are murmured I am comforted by his presence not just around me but within me. The deeper I go them more clear he I can hear him and feel him.


DID YOU WATCH THE VIDEO? WHATS YOUR THOUGHTS??

Anita

Wednesdays Words

Lets keep it Simple today. Lets not get to wordy.

G.A.C.= Genesys Athletic Club. I give a lot up for this membership. Mainly my clothing allowance. A girl loves her closet, but this girl loves her Athletic Club.

8:30 AM- Out of the house a little late.

Rolling Rolling Rolling- One word, three times! A whole lot of rolling and stretching before sweating.

TREADMILL- Not the DREADMILL. I wasn't dreading the machine I was dreading the thought of my injury preventing me from running.

Clint Verran- Good Ole Clint said that I could try to run a treadmill. If I was going to try and run that was a better option.  It is more even than running outside.

Coaching- ARE YOU TEACHABLE?? "Shoulder Back, run with your core, light as a feather, BREATH." As my feet began to turn over on the treadmill I constantly spoke to myself. It is one thing to coach yourself, it is another to DO what your coach says! As I began to get fatigued I had to coach LOUDER to myself. I had to remind myself the importance of running properly.

3 MILES!- "If it is worth the Prize it is Worth the FIGHT" Sometimes the fight isn't going all out. For me the fight was NOT performing with intensity, it was intensely staying disciplined for the bigger picture.

IT BAND- Yes, for those of you wondering. Yes, the friction across my knee began as I approached 2 and 1/2miles. The sweat from anxiety was dripping down my temples. I tried to remain positive. I tried to keep happy thoughts. I tried to keep my glass half full for just a little bit longer. And I did!

Contentment- 3 miles not fast, not slow but consistent. As the laps turned into miles my face turned into smiles!

Cold Plunge- After running, rolling, stretching and abs I headed to the torture chamber. 15 minutes in the frigid waters. The most welcomed pain.


RUNDOWN:
Distance- 3 miles
Time- 26
Pace- 8:40

Verse of the Day- "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content" Phil 4:11


Anita

Motivational Monday: Gods Glory

"My upbringing gave me a strong will, a mental aggressiveness in what I wanted to achieve." Paul Tergat, of Kenya, held the world record in the marathon from 2003-2007, with a time of 2:04:55

Strong Will: I always wonder if this is a blessing or a cursing. Growing up with a single mother who battled drugs and alcohol my whole life harvested a Strong Will within me. So much so that many times I found myself to be my own worst enemy. I didn't know how to back down or throw in the towel. I hated to give up on anything, it made me feel weak. I grew up feeling weak because I couldn't get my mom to quit using. I grew up feeling defeat and helpless. I HATE this feeling.

"They say you can't run away from your troubles. I say you can." John Bingham

Maybe I couldn't run today, that didn't stop me from riding my bike over 12 miles. I biked with persistence. 12 miles on a bike isn't  far but I went with everything I had trying to get a little balance between my ears. There is so much going on at home, from family sick, to teenage drama to trying to get a house my head is full of noise. The faster I went the clearer life began to look.

"Learn to run when feeling the pain: then push harder." William Sigei

The ground was wet from the early morning storms. The pot holes were doubled and full of mud. With the dirt roads saturated with rain it made pedaling a little more strenuous. I buckled down as I felt my quads burning. "Come ON ANITA, come on." I barked at myself to push harder.  The more I heard myself breathing the more I liked what I heard.

"I assess the power if A Will by how much RESISTANCE, PAIN, TORTURE it endures and knows how to turn to its ADVANTAGE."

I Just Want to RUN. I will invite my body and my mind to elements of human torture, with pleasure if it gives me back what I want.
As I elevated up the dirt road with muck spitting all over me I reminded myself to seek MORE. I could feel my quads burning as I came up on my seat and drove my toes towards the surface.
I wanted MORE, I wanted it to hurt so good. I was burning more than sweat and adrenaline. I was burning all the garbage the day wanted to hold. ALL the CRAP that this world wants to discourage us on. Some was emotional, some was hurtful, some was unexplainable but there was a lot that I wanted to burn right alongside of my quads!

"Like a bird that strays from its nest is a man who strays from his home."    Proverbs 27:8

 

I was moving at a pretty good clip when I passed something that caught my eye. It didn't startle me, however, it did confuse me. It was a little bird that I came within inches of riding over. The little bird was alone and didn't even flinch. I turned around to check on him and see if he would fly away. This little guy just stared at me. I didn't know what to do to help him. I grabbed a stick to see if I could coax him to fly. He fluttered a bit but that was all. I could hear something over my music. As I turned it down I heard a bird chirping loudly. I moved the little bird out of the road with HOPES that the chirping I heard was his mother. I went away believing this little stray bird would find his way to safety.

 

 



"On the glorious splendor of your majesty, and on your wondrous works, I will meditate."   Psalms 145:5

I made a right hand turn and was awestruck by the acres and acres of beauty to my left. I pulled my bike to the side of the road. I stared at the splendor in front of me. A large hawk circled above me. Drifting in the breeze. I was speechless. Across the pond were deer deep across the field. Sand cranes were hunkered in their nests. And the noise of nothing more than Gods creatures brought shear Peace.

I can find gratitude in my broken state. I was circled by Gods Glory all around me.

 

 



Lastly: Today, my son Austin Motivated me. My 14, almost 15 year old got out of bed by his own alarm and was out the door by 5:45 am.
This boy of mine has not learned the art of disciplining his tongue but does a really great job at staying focused and driven on achieving his goals.
I was so blessed to see his discipline when he could have been sleeping in and staying up late. He made me proud. His action Motivated me to Stay focused and Do What Has To Be DONE!

Please Share, Who Motivated you? Was it a person, a Song, An Idea?

Anita

Having HOPE with this Broken Body

"A man's spirit can sustain his broken body, but when spirit dies, what hope is left?"   Proverbs 18:14

 

 

I wish I could just "WILL" everything to work properly. I wish I could just "Good Attitude" my broken body into health.

 

I have gone from running the Boston Marathon in April to barely getting double digit runs in since.

 

I have gone from 800 meter repeats to barely able to run 800 meters at any pace!

 

Today, was Andy's long run. More than wanting to run for myself I want so badly to be able to train along side him. I wanted to encourage him, coach him and cheer him on to his final destination, (I think is the marathon, he is not telling).

 

I could hear Clint (PT) in the back of my head, "Yeah, you can run, but I would run close to home in case you have to walk back home."

 

14 miles is where Andy was at today for his long run. That distance was NOT an option for me.

Throughout the week I have been doing everything I have been told to do. I have rolled my ITband with tears down my face.

I have iced my knee after every work out.
I have prayed and asked others to pray.

I have doubled up on my Juice Plus.

I have done extra exercises at home even when I totally do not feel like it.

 

Andy had his run all mapped out. It was a 9 mile loop that was fairly flat, then an additional 5 miler. It was half back roads with tree cover, with the other half -full sun down the main roads.

"Anita, the loop I have planned to do is a little over 9 miles, I am not sure you can do it." Andy said with concern.

I replied with Hope, "Andy, worse case scenario, I WALK home."  I then concluded  "Clint said I could run but I may end up walking, therefore it would be wise to stay close to home."

I knew that Andy was going to take those words without arguing with me. The Long Run is not a run that comes without anxiety. This run, although it is ran slow is still very nerve racking. Andy really needed someone next to him. I really needed to be the one he needed.

 

Together we stretched and rolled.

I laced up my HOKA's in hopes the extra cushion would help take the impact for me. I claimed the 9 miles with Christ. Desperately seeking God to keep my body strong. I questioned my reasoning, wondering if it was a smart move to run that distance, after all, I haven't ran more than 10 miles all week.

"I Can Do all things Through Christ Who Strengthen me."

We headed out the door. It was 81 degrees out at 2pm when our feet hit the pavement.

I was not much for words. I was hypersensitive, accessing my knee during every 5 minute interval. Because I have not ran very much I felt more fatigued. I convinced myself that I could run through a empty tank, my biggest concern would be my knee flaring up.

 

I just kept stringing my intervals together. "Andy, are we at 5 minutes yet?" I questioned him on every interval. 

When we made it to 5 miles there was NO Turning Back. I had two options: 1. Run it home. 2. Walk it home.

Andy asked how I was feeling. "On a scale of 1-10, I am feeling like a 4."

I was very grateful we were running as slow as we were. Our average pace was a 9:45. The walk breaks were highly favored and a Godsend.

 

After mile 7, I had a couple moments I thought I was going to end up walking it all the way in. The walk breaks recharged me and offered both physical relief but also mental relief.

 

They gave me HOPE.

 

I did it. Glory be to GOD, I MADE it 9 miles. I was exhausted. My knee was tapped out. I was ever so thankful for those who sent me prayers on my Running against the OdDs Facebook page. Special thanks to Matt L and Rachel D.

 

"A man's spirit can sustain his broken body, but when spirit dies, what hope is left?"   Proverbs 18:14

 

We have the power to give someone Hope. Just a few kind, supportive words can be such an encouragement to one another.

My body feels so broken and foreign to me.

The look on Andy's face before we ran reminded me of why it is important to support one another. Even in my broken state I clung to hope not just for me but also for Andy. He was consumed with fear. The long run does this to a lot of new marathon runners. The distance Andy was going to attempt to run was way out of his comfort zone.   

I needed HOPE. I couldn't afford to let fear of my IT band acting up prevent me from at least attempting to run.

I always coached the kids at school "Strong Mind, Strong Body." If we allow thoughts of defeat and discouragement rent space in our head we will give up before we ever start.

 

 

"Take hope from the heart of man, and you make him a beast of prey"

 



 

 Rundown:

Distance: 9.2

Pace: 10:15

Time: 1: 34

Ice 15 minutes Cold Plunge. I am hurting from the run. But I am not giving up Hope. I will Ice more, Roll more, Pray more, and do More Exercises. I just want to RUN.

 

Anita