We all Suffer. Rejoice.

"Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that also at the revelation of His Glory you may rejoice with exultation."  1st Peter 4:12-13

Gods perfect timing as I have been recovering from my bilateral mastectomy.
My dear friend invited me to her bible study. Lacey brought me over the bible study so I could study the lesson and be prepared.

Peter sure talks a lot about suffering. A subject that many of us can relate to.

I have battled cancer for the last 7 months. There were days I thought I was looking right in the face of Satan I was suffering so bad.
There were days I wondered how much I could endure physically, mentally and emotionally.
I had moments my spirit was dark with fear, defeat, discouragement and all the company that joined them.
Every day, every moment of every day, when I looked at myself I was reminded of the suffering I had gone through and the suffering I still had to go through.

But I rarely complained. Because I KNEW GOD DIDN'T GIVE ME Cancer.

"..do not be surprised.."
WE all SUFFER. And if you haven't suffered, just wait.
We live in a very broken and dysfunctional world.
Our pain can persuade us to question and doubt Gods love for us. We get confused and disoriented loosing our faith in Gods plan for our lives.

"...which comes for your testing, as though some strange thing was happening to you...."
It is not by chance we are suffering. God knew we would go through this season of suffering. We would be tested.
I have always liked being tested. Maybe that is one of the reasons I enjoy running and racing so much. I train so hard knowing I will tested. When race day comes you go out to give your all. You are tested through pain. Through endurance.
I have found that if I stay positive and grateful I will have a better outcome at the end of my race. I test myself to be better.
God too tests us.

"..keep on rejoicing..."
Rejoicing through our trials not only allows us to get through it without being a "Debbie Downer" it also promises us that the more we rejoice now the more we will rejoice in heaven.
We can not control our suffering but we can control how we respond to it.

8 weeks of hair growth post chemo. 

Something to rejoice about!

I can't throw my hands up in the air to rejoice, I can't even raise my hands more than a 90' angle without it hurting like a son of a gun.
I am sure many of you want to say bad words to me when I say rejoice. I get it, divorce, death, sickness, loosing a job, how do you find joy in our trials. Especially when you want to say bad words, have a temper tantrum and curse God. When I came home from chemo, sicker than snot, trust me when I say I was not rejoicing. My heart wanted to, I didn't want to be angry, upset, bitter, oh I had my moments but it was not the billboard I wanted to hang.
I do rejoice in my special Nita kinda way.

• I try to find the silver lining.
• I always think of ways it could be worse
• I cling to the lil things that can make all the difference
• I circle myself around those that keep my spirits up and help to keep me in a good place

For every positive reaction there is also a choice to make a negative reaction to suffering. Choose to Rejoice. 

An Update in 5 points.

"Alec, will you go for a walk with me, ppppllleaseeee…" 

He really was very sweet. Not only did he go for a walk with me Sunday, he played games with me yesterday. It was very endearing. 

1.  Alec took me for a trail walk on Sunday at Sorenson. 2 easy miles.
2. I met my Radiologist Tuesday, Dr. Boike. We will now add him to the slew of Dr.s I have. 
3. I see Dr. Connor tomorrow, she is my Ob-Gyn that will be performing my oophorectomy.
4. I see Dr. Hainer to get saline injected into my expanders tomorrow. 
5. I scheduled to have my port out in December. 

So many Dr. appointments. 

When I met my radiologist his first sentence to me was "So, your an ultra runner..." Dr. Boike continued adding something along the lines of me not being able to run. Andy corrected him telling him that I had ran a couple marathons and a 50k this summer. 

While he was quite surprised, I added that I was not running anymore. 

My Serotonin levels are through the roof. I SOO wanna run, sweat and release this overabundance of emotional chaos that is growing and growing. 

That is not the only thing that is growing. MY BUTT! I tried on my sweatpants again, they are still tight! And at the dr's yesterday I gained ANOTHER POUND! 

The silver lining in that...I get to go shopping to buy bigger sweatpants! 

I am going to touch on a couple different thoughts on suffering. 

I would love to hear your thoughts. 

 Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.

Helen Keller