Focus don't Fall

I am clumsy.
I wish I was one of those gracful runners that look like gazelles when they prance through the trails.
I look more like a three legged mutt, blind and confused.
I trip on air, fall off bridges and get tangled in thorns that everyone before me seem to glide through with grace.
Running in the fall is a dangerous place for me. The leaves fall "leaving" the trails a beautiful disaster for a oaf like me.
My eyes water excessively from allergies. I am like one eyed jack trying to navigate across hidden roots, rocks and branches.

Andy wanted company running his long run today. I was not wanting to run 13 miles. Sunday is Runday with Lacey.
Lacey and I told Andy we would run his long run with him.

Holdridge.
Long runs are supposed to be long and slow. (I am tapering for Clarkston Backroad and still catching my breath from my marathon.)

With Andy in the lead, I found myself in the middle of him and Lacey.
I twisted my same ankle as I did last week within the first mile!

From that moment on. The next 9 miles with Andy I twisted BOTH ankles multiple times, nailed my toes on rocks and tripped on God knows what countless times.
Andy was so far ahead of us I quit trying to keep up. I was afraid if I picked up the pace anymore I would need a stretcher to pull me out of the woods.
I actually saw Andy trip and his body lunge forward but he caught himself and stayed upright.
I giggled.  I can't help myself. I am like a 5 year old.
I heard a rustle behind me, Lacey was gingerly picking herself up off the trail too. I have no idea how she fell. Lacey is the most cautious trail runner out there.
"Nita, I Focus don't Fall."
I smiled. I whispered, Yes, focus don't fall.
The trails were stunning.
Focus...don't fall...Don't stop too look too closely.

We finished out 9 miles, doing two loops on the West trail. Andy was heading back out to run another loop.
"Andy, I'm done, Lacey and I are going to do a cool down on the North loop."

North Loop. 

Lacey and I were both whipped. The North loop is flatter and faster. But we went slower and played a little bit. Everytime we took a walk break I tripped.
Once we were coming through the trail and the trail had a canapy of trees over it. The trail was flat and almost looked like a tunnel.
We decided to take a couple pictures......Lacey captured me perfectly....TRIPPING!

My Favorite tree. 
The last quarter of a mile my favorite tree at Holdridge stands. 
I am always in awe of it. You can hardly miss it. 
I love old gnarly trees. Trees that loom over you high and mighty. Trees that are all snarly. Their branches tangled and beaten up. I think they are so beautiful.
The bark is thick and ancient. Oh, the stores they could tell. 

I feel relatable. With the leaves falling. The trees are left bare and almost vulnerable. This old tree is bare, naked. There is nothing left to beautify it. It is left in its raw state. 

I always think of this. I feel like these old trees. Raw. Bare .Ugly
I can dress myself up, do my hair, paint my face and put pretty perfume on. I can fit in when I need too. 
But what if people see me in my raw state. Would they look at me differently? 
Of course they would. 
Would they love my UGLY?
I have soo much Ugly. 
My yesterdays incapsulate me like thick lifeless bark. 
My mistakes branch out confusing me. 
My failures are tangled like vines. 
Fear and insecurity, I wear these colors, they are dark, lifeless tones. 

But I find beauty in those ugly trees. Oh, if they could just have a voice. If they could speak. 
All that ugly had a purpose. All that Ugly had a place. 
That old weathered tree. 
Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. 
It is deep. Beauty isn't always at face value. Beauty is dark and beauty is deep.
And sometimes...beauty is ugly.