"Most of us want very much to be loved perhaps we are not concerned enough about loving."
As school draws to a close I find myself drawing back to a common thought that circulated in my head the past few weeks.
Funny even as a 39 year old mother- out of high school for over 20 years you can still get caught up in being a "Try Hard" if you are not careful.
The last several weeks I have been very involved in my kids school. So much so that I had to cut back my hours at work.
This year in school I volunteered in one of Austin's classes once a week, was on a committee for a 5K, I helped coach the Cross Country team 3 times a week, and I coached the Husky Roadrunners once a week.
Being that involved you get to be around a lot of people. There is a lot of adversity. Just because you try to like others does not mean they are going to like you.
Just because you try to be a good person does not mean people are going to like you.
Just because you have things in common with others does not mean they are going to like you.
There is No Guarantee that is going to make someone like you!
So GET Over it.
"Quit trying to fit in when You were meant to Stand out."
I had a few restless nights knowing someone was not in The Anita Fan Club.
I had to remind myself "What Defines Me"
CHARACTER. That is what Defines us. God Defines ME!
"Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me."
"Character is what you really are, while reputation is what others think you are."
- Not a banking account
- Not a title attached to our name
- Not the car we drive
- Not the groups we are involved in
- Not the clothes we wear
- _____________________________(fill in yourself)
I sat in enough groups, meetings, and adult functions to see people try to fit in. Try to be part of something. I see this all the time. In all facets of my life. From work, to running, to church, to parenting, to family and friendships. And unaware...I have caught myself self consciously doing the same.
" Let no man despise his youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity." 1 Timothy 4:12
When I catch myself being hurt or left out I remind myself the BIG Picture...HIS EYES are the only Eyes that define ME.
When I first married my husband I worked so hard at trying to get the family to like me. It was a job that I did around the clock. I had no mom and dad to love me. My siblings lived in Florida and I just wanted to fit in. The harder I tried the more damaged I became. I found myself enabling others to get them to love me, I found my Codependency went into over load mode. Like a worker bee I tried and tried to work at fitting in with Andy's family.
For over 10 years I found myself hurt, disappointed, discouraged and empty.
But it wasn't until I got Sick and Tired or being Sick and Tired that I started Letting Go.
When I let go of my expectations on others, when I let go of trying to fit in or get someone to love or accept me it was Then that I felt Free.
Letting Go does not mean you do not CARE. It means you do not let it Hijack your sanity; compromising who you are.
It means you Detach Lovingly.
You Accept YOURSELF. Only Working on a better You...For yourself and God.
You Live Life with Integrity.
You Live life Honestly.
You Live Life Self Controlled, Disciplined
You Live Life being Kind, with a Good Report
When I do the right thing...which is NOT all the time..But when I do..I have more security, more confidence, more peace.
As the end of the school draws near I am confident in who I am. I am comfortable in my skin. I have things that I need to work on but that is for HIM no one else. I am in HIS club. And that is the only place I want to fit in.
So no matter what age you are when you find yourself on the carousel of codependency.. Let Go.
Do you Let Others Hurt you??
Where do you try to fit in?