"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, Who is in you, Whom you have received from God? ... So use every part of your body to give glory back to God..." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Not feeling like Celebrating.

I feel Like she is looking right at me.....So close..
Ariel, Today you would have turned 22. Today I would have celebrated with you. We would have gone out to eat like  PF Changs or some place new and exciting. You always liked wherever I took you. I would have bought you something out of my budget. I would have probably colored your hair this week. I would have embraced every moment I got to spend with you and would have been jealous of those who got to enjoy you too. I am greedy. I loved every minute with you. Every second with you. I loved your pearly white teeth and your golden tan skin. I loved those BIG brown eyes and silky hair.
I loved your voice when it would whine. I loved hearing you ask me deep questions and wait for my response. I loved your story telling..wow you could tell a story!
Your bargain shopping always made me proud.
 I loved the way you would comfortably just stroll into my house knowing your were part of me.
I loved the crazy hair on your arms and razor burn your always got from shaving.
I loved your crooked feet and black eyeliner.
I loved playing with your hair and smelling "KISS" perfume on you.
I loved when you tried to hide things from me only to realized I knew AND I still loved you just the same.
I loved when you asked "work out" questions and nutrition questions looking for advice.

I Loved when you looked up at me with those big eyes and I could see the love you had for me. I would fight all of hell for you. When you cried I cried. When you hurt I hurt. When you laughed we all laughed.

You defended me, you supported me, You loved me right back.
 I miss your Love.

Today is your birthday. You would have turned 22. The only thing Happy about today is knowing you are up in Heaven.
There is nothing else to celebrate. I smiled today. Because I had to. I even ran today, only because it was National Running day. But I wanted to curl up inside myself and listen to sappy music, closing the world out.
But I smiled today. For You are in Heaven. That is worth celebrating.
For your Birthday not to break tradition I again broke the budget. Mama and I went in on a Eternity Light for your headstone. It is beautiful. Your light will forever shine.
Ariel, Me and Sarah. Sarah visited you today Ar. So sweet.

Aunt Nita


  1. I'm sorry for your pain, Anita. She was beautiful, and I can tell that your love for her was enormous! The whole thing just makes no sense. To us, anyway. I'm praying for peace and comfort from the Holy Spirit to you.

    1. Thank You. You are so very right, This is just another reminder of how miniscule we are. How Big God is. It reminds me that HE loves us and the HE has plans for us. Not to hurt us but for us to glorify him no matter what. It does not make sense...To little ole us. But it makes perfect sense to HIM. I know that HE loves me. And that He loves Ariel. And he knew Exactly what he was doing.
      It just hurts so bad.... Your words are kind and comforting...

  2. Thinking of you today Nita. This was a really sweet post.

    1. Awe.. Thank you Jessica. Rough Rough day, night and even morning. Your so sweet. Love ya

  3. Hi Rebecca, Thank You. There are not enough words to write really..