Can You Read a MRI report??

It is very humbling to not be in control of your body.
I don't think of myself as arrogant. I have nothing to be boastful about. I came from humble beginnings and live very modestly.

A Little Piece of ME.
When I was about 10 years old I had to do the unthinkable.
We lived in a old school house on Oakhill road at the time. My mom was on a terrible binge. She would lock herself in the room and drink until you thought she was going to pass out, only then she seemed to be just getting started.
It was like she would try and drink everything she had as if she would never have another drink again. The problem with diving in that deep is when you come up you are not so well.
You have to slowly detox from alcohol or you will go through the DT's, convulsing, vomiting, and hallucinating. It is a horror film to watch. My mom was out of money and out of alcohol. All bridges were burnt, therefore, no one was coming to my mothers rescue. There was a older woman who my mother worked for. Eva or Ida, regardless she was a very Godly woman. I humbly had to call her and beg her to go buy and bring back some alcohol for my mother. It was awful. My mom was so sick. I was scared to call Eva but even more scared my mom was going to have a seizure she would not come out of.
She reluctantly went to the local party store for us. When Eva returned she was angry. She handed me a 6 pack and fiercely said "Do NOT ever call me to buy your mother alcohol again!"
I can not remember what I said. I do remember looking at the 6 pack and thinking, "Good Grief, this is a joke, where is the rest!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sat for almost an hour and 1/2 waiting for the results of my MRI for my knee. I needed help. I was begging for answers. Sitting for that long didn't matter if they could just give me answers to why I hurt when I ran. I had forgot my MRI disc in the midst of teenage chaos at home. I just wanted a diagnosis. I was fearful I was not going to get one because of my absentmindedness.

When I finally got a room, the Dr came in soon after. He spoke fast, focused and pointed. His words were deliberate. I laid on the table as he continued to ask questions and manipulated my knee in different angles. It felt firm in his hands. He ordered a ex-ray.
"Dr. I just want to RUN. This is what I do, I run, I coach, I train, I blog, Please tell me I can RUN again." I cried.
Within minutes I was getting more pictures of my knee.
I didn't have to wait long as they put the pictures on the screen. Dr. Samani didn't have me wait much longer to get the results of my X-ray.
"Anita, these X-rays are great, you have really good genes." He continued repeating himself, "Has anyone told you that you have great genes, for what you have had done to your knee you have healed remarkably."
He explained what he was looking at adding "You have no arthritis, no degenerative changes and  no gaps where you had the screws put in for you ACL cadaver.
I was so small feeling. I felt so helpless as I begged the Dr to tell me good news. I repeated myself again, "Can I run?, please tell me I can RUN."
He said I was not done Running. I would run again.

So, I have to send him my MRI for confirmation.
I have the MRI report but have NO idea what it means.
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN IT BETTER TO ME!

"The patient has had prior ACL repair. The ACL graft is intact. There is a small amount of fluid/cyst within the tibial tunnel. The posterior Cruciate ligament is intact. There appears to be a thin amount of residue cruciate ligament material anterior to the graft fibers. Negative for arthofibrosis or a Cyclops lesion."
"....There is a small amount of fissuring at the patellar apex. There is increased signal intensity at the midial patellofemoral retinacular complex fibers at their attachment on the medial patella with overlying soft tissue edema. Findings may be related to postsurgical change although a partial thickness tear cannot be completely excluded."
Increases signal intensity at the proximal attachment fibers of the medial patellofemoral retinacular complex on the medial margin of the patella. There is surrounding soft tissue edema. Findings could represent sequel from the prior ACL repair versus a partial-thickness tear. Please correlate with the surgical history.

HUH????????????????????????????
When the DR explained this all to me, he was positive and encouraging. When I got home to Andy, he was doubtful and concerned. I am not left CONFUSED! 
CAN anyone out there explain this last paragragh??


I called Andy and told him my diagnosis. Before I told Andy, He actually guessed it!
As I told Andy that Dr. Samani said I would run again I found myself crying. I was so humbled. I don't deserve to run again, I don't deserve anything in the big picture and yet God believes I do.
I am trying to stay hopeful.

If you can shed some light on this I would LOVE IT.  I am humbly asking my readers if we missed something, could you explain!

Anita

Anita

"Anita, What if you could never run again."



1 Chronicles 29:11 “Thine, O LORD is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty: for all that is in the heaven and in the earth is thine; thine is the kingdom, O LORD, and thou art exalted as head above all.”

 

Every day I wake up and wonder what my knee will be like. I am curious if it healed miraculously over night. I wonder if I could run on it, run fast on it, run long on it, if I will feel pain in it, if it will ever heal or if it is my running death sentence.
Some days it consumes my thoughts, some days I can manage my manic thoughts and some days I just have to feel it all, get mad and get over it.

A few days ago I was at a family event on Andy's side. (Really the only side of family that I have left). His Uncle Rod was here visiting from Iowa. Uncle Rod last week tragically lost his son. I walked into the living room where he was sitting on the couch along side of Uncle Darrell. Uncle Darrell got up and left making a great place for me to sit alongside Uncle Rod.
I had been praying for him all week. I have been so burdened for him. I spoke softly and quietly asking him how he was doing. We spoke for several minutes until he would try to switch the conversation back to me and my knee. I kindly tried to revert it back, only after the 3rd time it was obvious he was not going to let it go.
Sitting up with his legs crossed, direct eye contact and hands crossed on his lap Uncle Rod asked "Anita, What if you could never Run AGAIN?"

This thought is tragic to me. I can hear the whispers. He is not the only one who has wondered this same thought. I do believe he is genuine in his curiosity. He has a kind heart, I don't believe he would think no ill on me. Honestly, I had not been asked that to my face yet. I appreciated his interest in my answer. Now I just had to decipher my thoughts on the question and put it into words.

IF I COULD NEVER RUN AGAIN:
Wednesday I get the results to my MRI.

Quality VS Quanity
"Uncle Rod, I do not want to live until I am 90."
If I died tomorrow than that was the plan all along. If I died Running it would be the perfect plan. Now at 40 years old, I plan to live life with No Regrets. To live my life as full of character, energy and love that I am capable of.  I like physical activity. I would be devastated if I could not run. It would have to come to WHY I couldn't run.

I can not wrap my head around the notion of never running again especially when I have programmed myself into believing I will run until I die!

Old Jeff called me this week. He got wind that I was injured and sad. I haven't heard from his since we got back from Boston.
He shared words of encouragement and hope for me.
"Anita, if your running career was over would you say it was successful?" Jeff then added "..afterall you have ran Boston 3 times, Chicago, New York City, Detroit and a 50 mile ultra to name a few."
I knew the answer he was leading me towards. "Yes Jeff." To hear him say my accolades reminded me to be grateful. I have ran races that  many run their whole life to accomplish.
I had that spoiled brat in the back of my ear that wanted to shout out "BUT JEFF, I want MORE MORE MORE." I felt like a crack head,  it just wasn't enough.

Jeff is an old time runner. He reminded me that having to take a year off or 6 month off is not the end of the world. I have plenty of time to get back on the saddle. Sometimes it is good to take the time and heal up. He is full of runners wisdom and inspiration.
"WE OCCUPY A VERY SMALL PLACE IN THE HEAVENS."  (Video)
Jeff knows I am a believer. He reminded me that GOD is GOD. God doesn't have to give a reason, an explanation or an announcement for anything HE does or He allows to happen. He shared this video of the Hubble and outer space with me. The video was a reminder that this universe is so vast and so complex we can NEVER wrap our little minds around it. I was chilled by the 4 minute video. Such a reminder that I am just a nobody in a great big universe. God is in Control. I do not have the power to question God. He Has all the Power.
No matter what tragedy, heartache, loss, or hang up I am going through God did NOT intend it to crush me or destroy me. He created me to be MORE than a Conqueror. He believed in ME before anyone ever believed in me. He has a Plan for My Life. I believe that with all my heart and all my soul.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Old Trusty Schwinn

More like a BIKEDOWN!
I planned to bike 10 miles. I messed up and calculated it wrong. I ended up with 13 miles, shortening my time.
I did however, LOVE my bike Ride out to Seven Lakes State Park.
I saw a deer, watched a snake slither out in front of me, saved 2 turtles and was in awe over the 2 sand cranes just feet in front of me on the way home.
When I am outside inhaling Gods beauty I feel overwhelmed with HIM. I could just envision God speaking to me through the rustling of the trees, through the chirping of the birds and the stillness of the water.

 Anita

 

Fathers Day 2014

Fathers Day 2014, Austin and Alec with Dad

The greatest gift I ever had
Came from God; I call him Dad!
~Author Unknown

 

Today was going to be a no brainer for me. I decided very early on I was going to be better than the best Anita I could be. I was going to try and be more patient, more loving, more organized and more prepared to create the best Fathers day I could for Andy.

I had a couple exciting things to help make the day special for Andy.
I can not control every detail of the day, like my children fighting, arguing, talking backing and all the typical preteen and teenage characteristics.
But I can give some great gifts that just might trump sibling rivalry. I can make some kicking ribs that just might disguise the boys wrestling physically and verbally. And I can make the house spotless in hopes it will trump me having to be that nagging mom with the high pitched voice that no one likes to hear.

1. I worked with the kids all week to make a canvas picture for their dad.
2. I bought him a new Garmin 220!

Fathers Day run  Selfie!

We opened gifts after church. Andy LOVED the canvas prints that the boys made, Austin's print made Andy cry.  I have always told the boys that tear effect lasts forever. Andy loved them both and can not wait to have our own home to display them.
The Garmin 220 was like the cherry on top. At first he was like "No, No, You shouldn't have..." That lasted about a half of a second, then the watch was out of the box! He was like a big kid, he couldn't get it out fast enough.

I knew Andy was going to want to play with his new toy. I couldn't run the distance  Andy was going to go. I stayed back and prepared the food and house for our family. Mom, Dad, Andy's brother Matt and his family were all coming over at 4:30. I really didn't plan anything because of all the chaos this week has brought.
Andy came back home after running 5 miles and I joined him for the last 4 miles. Monumental days are my favorite running days. Running with Andy on Fathers Day makes the day for both of us very fulfilling.
I would lie to you if I said I had no knee pain. It came on at mile 3, making mile 4 a perfect place to wrap it up.

Matt, Dad and Andy

Mom and Dad arrived shortly after we returned home. I was able to wash up good enough that I didn't offend.
Soon enough my brother in law and his 8 kids arrived.
We had the best time. We had so much food and fun.
I think we pulled off a GREAT Fathers Day, me and the Boys. The boys were even less bratty than normal which in turn helped me not have to unleash my annoying mom voice. That all said mixed with tear effect and a new running watch...I think it was near PERFECT!

Rundown:
Distance: 4 miles, Intervals, 5:1
After everyone left,  Austin and I went for a 6 mile bike ride. It really stirred a lot of memories for me.

It was a Great Day. I have a lot to be grateful for. Even in Loss there is still so much joy to be received. I lost my father at 11 years old. There are many out there who do not have a father or do not have a relationship with their father.
I pray you were able to have the strength and courage to conquer any thoughts that may have high jacked your day.
I pray that you could find some joy, some smiles, some tears that helped you heal.

Anita

Sheba enjoying Fathers Day too!

Never a Dull Moment

Seriously, it has been the nuttiest week.

This morning I thought I would try to run in order to evaluate and describe my knee pain.
It felt so good to take off running. The pain in my knee started within minutes. I thought I would try and continue to run in hopes that it would just go away. It didn't.

As I finished my first mile, I decided that I would run no more than 3 miles. It was very humid out but the temperature was in the 60's. I did a lot of thinking today.
The discomfort in my knee became part of my run, I thought "..it feels so good to run, I could run with this amount of pain if it wasn't going to do any damage."
My thoughts trailed off when I went googley eyed over this beautiful LINCOLN MARK V11. She was a pearly white and very sophisticated looking. I drooled at her as I passed in front. I was startled as I passed because SHE was speaking to me! I quickly spun around and was quite surprised to see it was an old schoolmate, Jeff Potvin. He looked the same. We always got along good in school. It was great to see him. We chatted like old times, laughing and somehow talking about my running. Funny how so many people know more about you than you realize.

Taking that little break put some fire in my soles. I took off feeling light as a feather. The sweat even felt good dripping down my skin and you know I HATE sweat, even my own.
I was running a sub 8 minute pace. I was taking mental notes of the degree, location, and type of pain I was having. At mile 2 I decided it would be best to not push my limits and throw in the towel.

Only I didn't totally throw in the towel, I used it to wipe the sweat off and hop on my bike!

Was I discouraged? YES
Was I disappointed? YES
Was I in Pain? YES
Was I defeated? NO

I took everything I had, all the mental mess and decided FAILURE was not an OPTION. Just get back up and keep going Nita.
The first few miles I was emotionally numb.
I turned into Seven lakes State park with my quads burning. When I felt my legs getting tired and my lungs stinging I barked at myself  "Come On NITA, GO, Go, Get after it."
It had started to drizzle out. My body embraced the moisture and my eyes were in awe of the beauty in the park. The park was lush full of wildlife and greenery. It was breathtaking.
I wanted to punish myself. I wanted the physical pain to trump the emotional garbage I was feeling.
Then it happened. The Flood Gates opened. Everything I had been feeling, angry, disappointed, confused, sad, everything just exploded. It was more than my knee. It was EVERYTHING. It was people, places and things. It was expectations and selfishness. It was the past, the present and the future.  But my knee was the catalyst. I always had my legs that I could run everything down. Now the tears were coming down. I felt so broken.
I cried liked a baby for over a mile. I tried to speak to God but even my words were confusing me.
"Why, Why God?"
"Did I Not pray enough?"
"Did I Not Trust you Enough?"
"Your word says that you discipline those you LOVE, are You disciplining me?"
"Your words also say  'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
The more and more I recited scripture the more and more I got confused. Then I remember Gods word that says  Satan is the Author of Confusion.
"Let it Go, Anita, let it go."
God is GOD. "Trust in the Lord with all thine Heart, Lean NOT on your own understanding, in ALL ways acknowledge HIM and HE will direct Your PATHS."
I let it go.

The Rundown:
14.53 miles on my mountain bike.
Time: 1hour 8 minutes
RUN: 2:36.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
 Maw Maw Smith came home today. This was good news.
I had 3  DR appointments today. I knocked them out one at a time. 1pm, 3pm and 4pm in the same building. BAM BAM BAM, just like that!

My last appointment I was having a biopsy of my goiter done. I was sitting in the chair waiting for the DR when I received a text from Andy. "call ASAP, Dads in the ER."
As Maw Maw was leaving the hospital Dad was coming into the same hospital ER.
There was nothing I could do as I waited patiently for the Dr. to numb my throat so he could jab a needle repeatedly into my neck.
Turns out my ENT  Dr. is a big triathlete. We chatted about running and he confessed that he would really like to qualify for Boston. Maybe the needle to the neck was bad but I didn't notice because we were talking about running!

Dad, is going to stay overnight. His test results wont be in until the morning. Andy is off work tomorrow. This works out really good. We ill hear more tomorrow but for tonight dad is in good hands.

That's it for Dr. appointments this week. I think I had  6 appointments knocked out of the ballpark for me. I quit counting. Funny thing about "Thinking". During my MRI today I was asked repeatedly if I had any medal in me. Because I am such a airhead I really had to question myself. It would be just my luck that I did and FORGOT!

Anita

The Medals we earn in our Hearts.

I ran MY First Run since LAST WEDNESDAY!!
I ran with the group today. And if it was not for running with the girls, my run would have stunk!
We did almost 4 and 1/2 miles this morning. We started off running in the rain. We finished running without rain and without half of our clothes. The humidity went into full effect as we approached Grange Hall rd. As we all stopped to cross, at the same time we started taking off our jackets and long sleeve shirts. I am sure it was a funny sight, 7 woman on the side of the road all sweaty and stripping down!

I knocked out 2 and added 2 more.
Last week, I went to see my primary doctor. I left with a handful more of appointments.
I have been poked, prodded, examined and today totally embarrassed.

Yesterday, I had a foot of tubing stuck down my nose. They had to numb my nasal cavity to make it more comfortable?! Really? I looked at the tubing then at the Dr. with the look of horror. "That is a cruel joke, Seriously? You are sticking all that through my nose?"
He replied with laughter.
I didn't really feel it too much, it was just awkward and a little creepy. It looked like a snake, it creeped me out knowing he could see everything through this little skinny alien. It felt like I was being invaded in a sense. No pun intended!
Even though I got that appointment knocked out, he set me up for another procedure.

Today, I had the follow up procedure done but again left with another appointment.  Directly after that appointment, I had another appointment in the same building.
The MAMOGRAM!
Ok. So I will be as mature as I can about this one.
First: "I am Fearfully and Wonderfully made." But I do believe God has a sense of humor. I have never had a issue with the way God designed me. I am very comfortable in my own skin.
But to get a Mammogram as a size A is hilarious to me.
I tried not to giggle as the technician was trying to scoop, tug and pull. I turned into 15 again. The tech was really earning her pay with little ole me.
My mom had a tumor removed in her early 40's. I know that breast cancer is very serious. But I was really shocked that they found something abnormal and I have to go back. I am not concerned about it, just surprised.

Back for 3 more appointments tomorrow. I am looking forward to tomorrows the most. It is a double edged sword I suppose. My MRI on my knee is tomorrow. I am glad that I am getting it so fast, however, I am scared to death of what it is going to say.

Could use a lot of prayers right now.
I am feeling very broken, physically and if we keep the momentum going I will be financially too!

BACKTRACK:

Yesterday was our Cross Country Banquet. I walked in about 5 minutes to 6pm. I was taken back by how incredible it looked. There was a parent group that headed up decorating and organizing the banquet. It was done with so much thought. This is my 4th year volunteering and the best banquet by far.
The kids had me in tears. I am 1 of 6 coaches. We have over 60 XC kids. With 6 coaches, we were really able to zone in more with kids and their personal needs.  Many of the parents commented on what a great experience it was this year for their children.

I was still receiving messages at 10pm at night from parents.
It was a great experience for me. When the kids walked by me after the Head Coach gave them their awards, many of them said "Thank You Coach."
I responded with the same words. I was so thankful to them.
I was thankful that they came out with dedication, commitment, hard work, and great times. Our team consistently took all the medals at the meets. It was the best gift a coach could ask for. I am truly the thankful one.

I felt bad for Alec. He is my 6th grader. On the way home Alec said "Mom, I am never going to get an award, am I?"
I replied, "Alec, I am so sorry, I know you are an incredible runner. You were our fastest 6th grader out there. But as your mother and your coach I could never nominate you."
Alec had his head down, "I know mom, it wouldn't be fair......"
I am not sure what the right thing to do is when you are in my position. Alec is a great runner. I see so much potential in him. The awards had his little head spinning with thoughts. I think it may be time to start setting some goals for himself. I feel bad because you want your parents to be your number one fan. And I am, only I can not show it.  In my case, even if he was Ryan Hall I wouldn't feel I could ever nominate him. This would be hard for me if I was in Alec's shoes. I feel bad for him. I look at it as an opportunity for him to push through and grow from it. I am glad he understood my position on it. For a little guy he has a lot of quiet wisdom.
It isn't always about getting the award. The awards don't make the person. The person makes the person. Awards and medals are what many of strive for in running. We work hard to earn them. But even if you never get an award or a medal you have to know that you are still incredible.
You have to look at the tools you learned along the way. Ultimately, the hard work and dedication is an award in itself. The heart and the grit is a great gift that you know more than anyone. Even conquering your defeats with a great attitude and cheering someone on to their victory is a medal winner. Even if you never get the bling around your neck, you humbly earned it in your heart.

Anita

Preaching to Myself.

I am proud of myself for the self discipline if anything I had today. I have not ran in 5 days.

I did a lot of running around without putting the wear on my legs.
Maw Maw is still in the hospital. She has been in as long as I have not ran.
Last night she took a turn for the worse, throwing us all into a tail spin.
This morning she was not much better. Mom went to the hospital to be with her.
I went over to Maw Maw's  house to clean it. Maw Maw is suppose to have her 90th birthday party this Saturday. Out of town family are beginning to arrive this evening, so a clean house was necessary.

I had to call my niece Ju Ju to help me. I had a meeting at 11:30am. I was not going to strip sheets, get laundry caught up, mop floors, dust, clean the bathroom, tidying up by myself and make it to the meeting on time. I needed help.

My meeting was nice. It was at the French Laundry, now called The Laundry. I am on a committee for our schools 5K. The meeting was a wrap up meeting from the race.

I headed to the hospital directly after my lunch meeting to see Maw Maw. It was nice to see her. She had color in her cheeks and was sitting up.
She had a room full of visitors. I think this helped her spirits.

What a day. It was good to be busy and not notice I had not run. Or at least try and ignore the thought of not running.

It is funny how so much of my days have running in them one way or another.
EX: Yesterday, even thought I didn't run, during my bike ride a got a call. It was from Austin's XC coach. He was asking me if I would be interested in running with one of the girls this year. It was a paid position. All I had to do was show up at every practice and run EVERY day with her.
She is blind.
My heart sank. What an honor.  I wanted to do this so bad. "Anita, you were the first person I thought of."
But I just couldn't commit.

Today, another NO run day. I still was at a meeting for running. They actually gave me a medal for the Best Coach. It was very informal and just for fun. It was very sweet though.

Today I got thinking. It is nice to have a coach. It is nice to have someone believe in you. To have someone cheer for you, encourage you, train you and come along side you.

But there are going to be days when there is no one there. Days that you are going to have to coach yourself. You are going to have to use the tools that someone has given you. Pull out the power words, collect your mantra and just be your biggest fan.
There are going to be days that you are discouraged and unmotivated. Days when you are dragging. You have to turn up the radio a little louder. You have to attach a megaphone to greatness so  all you hear is your strength, determination and courage.

I am preaching to myself. These are the words I need to write to help me get over this obstacle. I am desperately trying to coach myself right now. I think that if I write it I have to practice what I preach, right?

RUNDOWN:
Distance:0
Time:0
Pace:0


Anita

The EEYORE Attitude

 

 

2 Timothy 1:7
  "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power,of love and
of self-discipline."

 

 

It is slow building. It comes on slow. But you feel it growing inside you. It comes unwelcomed.

It is the like you are being invaded from the inside out. It is a bunch of CRAP. That's what it is.

CRAP CRAP CRAP.

This jacked up knee of mine has put me through Mary Kubler-Rosses 4 of the 5 stages of GRIEF.

 

• DENIAL: I just tried to ignore the pain in my knee. I thought I would take a couple days off and it would be better. Ice, rest, elevation...Blah Blah Blah. " Hey, maybe its not really that bad, Hey, maybe you are a bigger moron that you are letting on Anita."
• ANGER: Angry. ANGRY.. Seriously I ran 26.2 miles and NEVER had a problem. I run a routine 8 miler and my knee jacks all up on me. Yeah, I am a little MEXICAN ANGRY to say the LEAST.
• BARGAINING: I thought maybe I could reason with my knee. Maybe I could take enough Motrin to help my knee and trade in my kidneys. Maybe I could not run on my knee for a couple days or run extra slow or even run/walk. I thought I might even be able to speak power words over my knee, I thought I could even try and bargain with God. I spoke  many "Please, Please  God". Yeah, none of the above worked. Note..God does not bargain, at the point of thinking that was a possibility, I realized I was working myself into the next stage...
• DEPRESSION: This is where I fell into myself today. I just sunk into a pit of depression. I am registered for The Crim, The Detroit Marathon and I wanted to run another Ultra this fall. I have made my MRI appointment and set an appointment up with a Knee Specialist. I considered a shrink. The more and more I thought about all the places my running takes me, all the people I have met, all the Joy I have from running, the more I found myself buried in the pit.
• ACCEPTANCE. NOT HERE. NOPE. I don't throw the towel in that easy.

SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP.

Without further ado I turned the switch on. I got off my poor whiny butt. I briskly marched to the bedroom to change. Running was not a wise option. SO with a swift back hand off the pity pot I got on my bike.

It was 75 degrees out.  The sun was shining with warm air wrapping around me.

I fumbled my feet into the pedal straps of my old Schwinn mountain  bike. "Turn Em' Over girl." I coached the old mantra back into my blackened spirit.

I just wanted to go fast. I wanted my lungs to burn. I wanted my heart to race. I pedaled harder. I didn't care what I looked like. Here I was riding my old bike like a 14 year old through the Village of Holly. The breeze blowing my bad attitude away with each mile.  The sweat began to bead up in my brows, my thighs began to burn. I felt love.
 

2 Timothy 1:7  For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and
of self-discipline.
 

I wasn't sitting at home like Eeyore with my tail between my legs. I was feeling God power me up. It took everything I had to not lace my shoes up. Danielle had even texted me as I was getting ready to leave the house to be my verbal conscience.

I road my old bike with all I had. Powering up the hills with the burn of intensity. I road my bike to the state park where I saw 2 runners I knew out there. We chatted a few minutes before I headed out.

I could have road my bike till I couldn't sit on a seat for a week. It was so freeing to remove my baby pants full of my crappy attitude.

I ran 11 miles over my Eeyore attitude.

 

It stinks being injured. I am one day closer to knowing what the heck is going on. I even made it one more day without running or ending up in therapy.

 

Anita