10 Mile Ramblings:Addiction

 

Addiction is not the same thing as Passion!
I am passionate about my relationship with Jesus Christ, family and my boys.
I am passionate about my Running but I am also passionate about Addiction! Yes, Drugs and Alcohol.

Are you confused? I have a very special place in my heart for those who struggle with addiction and also the family members that are entwined in the chaos of of addiction.

ADDICTION. Misunderstood, judged, enabled, and Very Very alive in many of our lives.

What Addiction is: Addiction Lies, Addiction Steals, Addiction Cheats, Beats and Deceives. It Hurts Everyone, it Hijacks the healthy Brain and Sabotages the Family Unit.
Addiction Manipulates, turns the Family against itself and confuses the most stable person.
Addiction drains accounts, shows up late, doesnt show up at all, it pukes, it throws up and it loses jobs.

ADDICTION SUCKS!

ADDICTION is not Prejudice. It loves all colors, all races, all genders, all religions, all professions, and all ages.

I have had the unfortunate opportunity of watching Addiction turn beautiful people ugly, family members abusive and Addiction kill it host.

"Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8

As I ran today I thought about Addiction. I have been the daughter, the grand daughter, the niece, the cousin and the wife and there have been moments when I think I am the sister.
I Choose NOT to Drink, Smoke or use Drugs and many people ask why. They just do not understand.."not even a glass of wine?" I have been down that road before...
You can't dance with the Devil and think you are going to win. The best way to not get enticed it not to take ANY invitation.
I know why I choose NOT to...Ask yourself why you choose to...especially when you have Addiction running through YOUR family!!

1 in 3 people have Addiction in their families...

"If you can't Beat em Join em" THAT is not gonna work out so good for you.
I have Freedom. I have control. (most of the time!)
Yes..I also have PAIN. Real hurts, real disappointments, real emotions. It is called living Life on Lifes Terms.
I am no different than the rest of you. I choose to FEEL no matter how painful it is. I am so thankful for Gods Grace that he saved me from Addiction that has destroyed my family. And thankful God softened my heart to love and forgive those who are struggling.
But my heart is always so heavy for those hurting.
I have many runs I have saturated the pavement with tears, I have ran with anger so deep my hands are clenched for miles. There are runs I can not even think clearly because life has disappointed me, hurt me, judged me, lied to me, deceived me and the list goes on. But we keep going. keep moving FORWARD. The only way to get through it is to get THOUGH IT!

"Training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age.."Titus 2:12

I am not bitter anymore. I am not controlled by my emotions the way I once was. I work harder at maintaining healthy boundaries and learning to forgive people. Forgiving does not mean FORGETTING. It just means I let the hurt someone placed on me go.

Tonight I will go to BRIGHTON. I will go support a dear friend who is struggling with a family member. Together we will be surrounded around other family members who have a loved one struggling with addiction. We will get support, advice encouragement and hope from the experience of others. I love it. I learn so much and take it back to help me be a better facilitator for the meeting I do on Thursdays.

"Bear Ye one anothers burdens and so fulfill the Law of Christ" Gal 6:2

Do you have a Family Member that is in active addiction?

Do you feel like this is "Speaking" to you?

Are you recognizing alot of this yet making excuses?

Denial is NOT a river in Egypt. It doesn't just get better.

Get honest. Have Courage. You Are Not Alone....

The Rundown:

Distance: 10:25

Pace: 8:01

Time: 1:22

Ran the back roads and did hills. Today was the perfect day out. I missed the rain and the time flew by. My mind working on turbo speed..faster than my legs!

ANITA

Amazing Grace

This is such a blessing to see at mile 6!!

Let the TAPER begin!! 3 weeks MINUS a day till Bayshore Marathon. Marathon number 3.
Tapering is scaling back.
At this point of your marathon training you can not cram in extra miles to make up for lost training. This is the leg of our training we have put in all our miles, we have reached our longest run and now we are scaling back.
This is a very important season of our training. It is equally as important as making it to the long run. If you have trained properly your body is begging for rest and recovery and your mind is also at the beginning stages of Burn OUT!  At least mine is!
The basic concept of tapering  is to slowly decrease the duration of training while keeping the intensity and frequency of workouts the same allowing the body and mind to rest and be prepared for that important race.

Last week I ran 22 miles. Today I ran 18. It was such a blessing. I was at breakfast this morning and said to mom "Who would have thought I would look forward to running 18 miles!"

The other great thing about scaling back was I was gonna have Andy to run 3/4 of my run today. He merged his long run to Sundays so he has a partner as well.

Belford Rd. So beautiful.

Caught by the train!

We had great weather. It was overcast and 66' out. We ran the back roads. It was stunning out there. The smells of fresh cut grass and blooming trees sifted through the air. We enjoyed the farm areas questioning what they were growing in their fields. We even had the pleasure of seeing 2 deer in the fields. I was totally in my elements.

After 13 miles of running with Andy we departed. I dropped him off at home and kept going.  I had to put a little kick into it. Andy wanted to see the 5pm showing of Avengers with the boys. I took a chomp and turned on the Ipod and took off. I kicked the pace up to a 8:15 from a 9:30 pace.

As I was coming up on mile 17 I was wanting to be done. I was moving faster than I had with Andy and wanted so badly to maintain this speed. Amazing Grace sang through my ear buds. I could feel the tears well up in my eyes. As I wanted to quit God reminded me of all the other times in life I wanted to quit. God reminded me I never quit then and I was not going to quit now. I had a hard time breathing as I felt humbled on Grange Hall Rd. Tears rested in my eyes. Out loud I cried " I will not quit, I will not quit..." Lord, You have carried me through so much, You believed in me when I didn't believe in myself, Therefore I will NOT QUIT...You never quit on me. I thought to myself as I saw my street up ahead. 
I never quit, as I looked down at my watch I was running a 7:30 pace by Gods strength alone. He never quit on me. I am so thankful my Father believes in me....

Anita

Andy Runs his mouth too!!

  Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute.

I am 38 years old. Yes..I have cellulite.. Yes..I have wrinkles..And yes things are not as "perky" as they once were. But I am ok with it. I am pretty comfortable in my own skin. I wasn't blessed with long pretty legs and actually my short legs are nothing to write home about. They are beaten up with scars and knobby knees. My once rich deep mocha hair is now sprinkled with gray and I randomly find hair growing in places that once was bare..like my shoulders!!

Seriously...A RAT????

I am ageing and that is just the way the circle of life goes.
This morning before Andy left for work he waited by the couch for me to get my coffee and sit next to him. We pray together before he leaves for work. As I sat on his lap Andy studied my face. He ran his fingers down my facial wrinkles. The deep ones that run down my cheeks and lips. Laugh Lines...Ha ha ha. Then Andy decides to verbally point them out! And to add insult to injury Andy says "You look like a Rat!"
A RAT!#@%!!! I am thinking. I am also thinking It is a good thing we are getting ready to pray...But I respond "Great..You used to say I looked like a mouse..Now I have evolved to a RAT!"

Little MOUSY was a least KINDA CUTE!!

What Animal DO YOU think I look LIKE??!!

I am OK with wrinkles, cellulite, fine lines, gray hair BUT LOOKING like a RAT??!! NOOOO !!

WHAT Animal do you think Andy looks like??!

HMm..what do u think??

I laughed it off ..sorta. You have to laugh about it I think. Oh well. Even if I wasn't laughing to much I thought maybe you all would laugh about it!

  "Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence!"

The Rundown:

They were calling for Thunderstorms today. I out ran the thunderstorms..Ha take that!! 8 miles- first 3 flat last end HILLS!! 

Time: 1:04

Pace: 7:58

Fastest mile:Mile 8- 7:23
BUT THEN...Austin came home and I ran another 2 with Austin. Tomorrow is his First CC meet!!
10 miles total
Anita