So many struggled 2020. I was one of them, but no matter how rough it got, how bad I struggled physically, emotionally and even spiritually I just COULDN'T complain about 2020.
Oh I am no saint, I was no delight to be around. All the masks, the opinions, the political chaos, the school closing, my sons senior year, me being out of work for 3 months and being ultimately everyone shut in, I just couldn't bring myself to get mad at the cards 2020 offered.
Truth be told I had so much gratitude. I was CANCER FREE. Sadly, being cancer free did not dismiss me from a broken body, an injured heart, the death of my maw maw and uncle and life on life's terms.
I had a lot to complain about but not about 2020.
I have had far worse years.
The year my father died when I was 11, my mother went into her addiction with a nose dive. All things UGLY.
The year my mother died. Confusion, guilt, panic attacks and self destruct mode.
So many many worse years. Years of total death. God always protected me from doing something permanent. I never understood. "WHY? WHY God, just take me..."
But he never did. And today, I look back on another year, so grateful.
2020, The year of ReCoverY. 2019 I fought for my life, for breath and a heartbeat.
2020 I fought to pull all my pieces back together, physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually.
Clinically:
- 20 rounds of radiation.
- 15 weeks of physical therapy, torn meniscus and PF.
- 5 surgeries. 1 knee, 3 booby, 1 port removal
- 20 Dr. appts.
Running: 
- 1600 running/walking miles
- 500 biking miles
Races:
- Snow Moon Trail-6.2M February
- Winter Loops-10 miler. February
- Earth Day Virtual-4.22 April
- Yeti Challenge 50KVirtual-Month of April
- Head Goat 50K Virtual-Month of May
- Crim 10m Virtual-August
- Bear Lake 53 Miles-October
Be Still and Know
2020 was the year for being still. As I patiently waited for my body to heal from cancer, chemo, radiation and life I had many days of sitting in silence.
Be still and know:
- I (God) am in control. Isaiah 55_8-9
- I (God) gives and takes. Job 1:21
- I (God) Restores and strengthens. Psalms 23:3
- I (God) am your identity, your security should be in me. Col. 3:1-3
- I (God) hear your broken heart. Psalm 147:3
- I (God) will never leave you nor forsake you. Deut:31:8
- I (God) will protect you and keep you. Psalm 121:7-8
"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end."
There is beauty in everything God has created. He designs all things and upholds their purpose. I may not always understand why God allows for things to happen. Things that that cause pain, fear, and worry. However, I can trust that He has a beautiful purpose for it. I can see the beauty in a painful year. I can see so many blessings.
2020 Gratitude
- Another year with my Sheba, my fur baby.
- A quarantined spring/summer with both my boys
- To be able to pay my bills
- To get my job back
- For all those who blessed me, encouraged me and loved me.
- For a healthy family, none of us have gotten Covid by the grace of God.
- For Hair!! I have not had a haircut since May 2019!
NO EXCUSES.
Never quit being Awesome.
Never quit being Kind.
Never quit Trying.
Never quit Believing.
Never quit Dreaming.
Never quit seeing the good in people.
Never quit..........
Goodbye 2020, Thank you for our time together. We shared alot, we grieved a lot and we learned a lot.
Hello 2021, I anxiously await your blessings. 2020 prepared me, strengthened me, taught me and excited me for you!
Anita
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