A lil Bloody

I remember Dr. Sullivan telling me it was going to be a 9 month marathon when he diagnosed me. And so far his timing has been darn near close to that.
I will be half way through 2020 and still having procedures done but I will be doing them all CANCER FREE!

Wednesday: 10am Dr. Sullivan
Procedure: Removal of my port.
I was a bit concerned that this procedure would be performed in the office and they didn't say I needed a driver. I came to the conclusion that I would be fully awake when he cut me open.
AND I WAS!
Mom drove me. She had shirts made directly after my diagnosis that had the hashtag "Itsjustanothermarathon" on them. She had one made for Dr. Sullivan. One the drive to my appointment I signed it and wrote on it for him. This would be the first time I had seen him since he put my port in. That seems so long ago now.
He was so LATE! It was 10:30 and he still was not there. The lady before me went to the desk and rescheduled, this was great for me making me now his first appointment.
"If he is going to be this late tell him I like 2 creams and 4 sugars in my coffee!" I joke with the receptionist." She laughs and add "Right, at least bring in donuts!"
He arrived shortly thereafter.
I just love him. He has the wildest personality. He is a crazy man. From the time he came in with his assistant until he finished, we joked and laughed.

"Is that all for me?" I asked Dr. Sullivan fearfully.
"No, not all that....Go ahead and lay down, I am going to numb the area first...."
I asked where the puke bucket was. But then had to reassure him that I was fine. I just wanted to get this port out and move on. I really wasn't scared, nervous a little, after all, I was going to get poked, sliced, pulled, prodded and stitched like just another day in the office.
And that is exactly what happened. I had to turn my head so I didn't see the needle going into me multiple times. By the third poke, I didn't feel anything other than the extreme pressure of the needle digging deep into my skin.

I continued to look at the cute lil assistant as he proceeded to share the details of how long he would be cutting me.
Then I felt the wiggling of him extracting my port. This included a lot of pressure and loud clanging of metal instruments.  I could feel my chest wall moving with the instruments he was using.
"There it is, do you want to see it?" Dr. Sullivan said holding my port.
Mom was watching everything so unrattled.

MY PORT

I turned and there it was dangling just a few inches from me. This was the access to all my chemo. This little contraption saved my veins and became part of me for the last 8 months.
"Here is the catheter..... "

MY CATHETER!

I was shocked more at all the blood. I turned my head as he began to put me back together. He shared some big accolades towards Dr. Pam Johnson. I shared with him how she is a super hero in my book and I got her a cape to prove it!

I made the mistake of looking back towards him. I saw this fish hook dangling from his fingers. I just about croaked. For some reason I thought he was just butterflying me up with tape. That's when I felt the tug of my skin pulling back and forth. Then the clip of the thread after I felt him tying it off. 

And again and again. When he had finished and cleaned me all up I sat up laughing with him. 

I saw his robe and was mortified, "Is that my blood all over you?" 

He looked down, laughed and responded "YES it is!". 

Yeah, I look REAL calm!!

His pager was going off the majority of the procedure. When I sat up mom gave me his gift to give him. 

He was so genuine. He really was speechless as he read the quote that he had given me back in April. Mom and I explained that his words became our inspiration and mantra. 

"And those are the races I did with cancer this year...." I pointed to the other shoulder. 

"You ran 4 marathons....and  these?" He asked with surprise. 

He loved our gift. He said it was going in a shadow box in the hallway to display. Mom and I were both smiling. 

Today:

2:30pm Dr. Connor, Follow-up of my oophorectomy. 

My pathology report was GOOD! Ovaries were good, old and showed signs of menapause but good otherwise.  

She recommended I start taking Calcium with vitamin D for my bones. But the chemo had already put me in Menapause  in April. My only side affects have been HOT FLASHES!

4pm Dr. Hainer, Follow-up breast reconstruction. 

I am sitting there half naked when he comes in with his assistant to take the tape off my incisions. (I didn't get any stitiches) 

He sits down and PINCHES MY BELLY FAT over my britches! "Yep, that is good, we are going to need that for later." he smiles totally serious. 

I was mortified. For the entire drive down I had just whined to Andy about how I cant get rid of this belly and back fat and he just pinches it with excitement. 

I couldn't stop laughing. "You know I have a lipoma on my back you can drain too!" I added joking. 

He actually says "Yeah, I will drain that for you to, that's no big deal." 

I laid back as the assistant removed my tape. "OUCH" I wined as my skin pulled. 

Dr. Hainer says to the assistant and I "You have to do it fast, do yo want me to do it?" 

I looked at him and yelled "NOOO!" 

We were all cracking up. 

I will see him again in a few weeks to follow up with the healing. 

I come to all my appointments with cheer. I always smile and try to have fun. All my Dr.s and nurses greet me, laugh with me, joke with me and a lot of time come hang out in my room while we are waiting for the Dr. 

Listen, I would be lying to you if I told you I wasn't nervous. Mom could see my nerves at work as I tapped feverishly on the table at Dr. Sullivans office. 

But being nervous and uptight isn't going to change anything. 

I am not a bad A$$. If anything I am more of a dumb A$$. I am a big goofball that convinces herself through humor, a positive attitude and smiles everything is going to be good. 

And so far, it has worked for me! 

Rundown;

After leaving Dr. Hainer Andy and I rushed to get to Flint for out Group Holiday run and Birthday for Holly. 

"Anita, what are you trying to prove..." Andy whispered as we trailed behind Antonio in his Christmas tree outfit. 

I sucked wind for 5 miles. I tried so hard to hang on to the back of the run away Christmas tree. But the last mile he picked it up and I fell back. 

When we got back and after I caught my breath I responded to Andy. 

"I have nothing to prove to anyone but myself, I need to chase those faster than me, I need to get faster, I have goals, I have to get back to suffering...." 

Goals, should scare you, and excite you all at the same time. I am setting some lofty goals for 2020. 

I believe. Dreams on. 

#Goaldigger

Anita~