“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” ~
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Marly and Sheba. They were so cute together.
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I am Half way there!
I have now undergone 10 treatments. I have 6 more treatments to go, 6 Taxol 2 more Carboplatin.
Even with a hemoglobin of 12 I just barely snuck in for treatment Wednesday. My neutrophils was only 1.1. They have been as low as .8. But they really want them to be higher than 1.5.
NEUTROPHIL; a neutrophilic white blood cell.
I met with Dr. Q. After missing a treatment we are still on course for surgery. He did discuss that the blood counts are really affected by the Carboplatin. This we knew. Andy is going to need to give me shots of the Granix to keep my neutrophil (white blood) up. More shots!
My weight is holding at 104.5.
I have now lost almost all my eyelashes and most of my eyebrows. My toes are showing signs of the Taxol, I have lost 1 1/2 toenails.
Cancer can really ugly you up. Today, my cheeks were so red, Miah, Laceys daughter said I looked like I had too much blush on!
Nail polish can't pretty my feet up.
And the hair that is growing in, is sporadic and chaotic. My hair reminds me of the electric balls where the electricity makes your hair stand straight up and wild.
I tried so hard to stay awake. I even entertained the idea of fighting the slump of Benadryl, but I lose that battle every time.
My vampire, Deb took me back to only get my vitals. With the most genuine smile she asks, "So how many miles today?" I giggled, and whispered "I'm tapering, I only walked today, 2 miles." She looked confused so in a even lower voice I added "I am running a 50k this weekend, I am keeping it on the down low...."
WAKING UP.
I have no energy to speak or think. Mike K. said it best. His wife went through breast cancer and he has been a big encouragement me to me, I don't even think he knows this. "You look calm...."
This is me trying to wake up from my Benadryl hangover. Slumped. Bloated. Foggy. Void of emotions. Can't put sentences together. The couch becomes my crib. I just wait. I wait for this to fade out. Grateful for new days.
If you are not careful you will feel this shadow lurking. You can't find its location but you know it is close, you can feel it. Your not sure how to describe its presence, friend or foe...
But you know he is pursuing you.
He comes in closer, you are t0o tired to question his presence. He warmly wraps his body around you. You cozy up unaware of the darkness he embodies. You are so worn, so confused, the pain you battle has disillusioned you.
Until it is almost too late and for many, it is too late. As he embraces you tighter, you soberly recognize the embrace is not comforting, it is suffocating.
He is not friend. He is the enemy, wanting to devour you in your pain, in your weakness.
The very thing you embrace, uncertainty and hesitation will invite Darkness to own you.
Do not dance with the devil.
As inviting and warm as his touch is, you must fight with the zeal of a Zealot.
I have felt his touch in my sadness. I wake up almost every day still unaware this Cancer that has a hold on me. Somedays my fight is easy, and some days I am so weak, soo very weak.....
But RUN DEVIL RUN....
This is LOVE. "LOVE CONQUERS ALL"
This weeks Cards, beautiful, Sentimental, Loving. I stay strong for reasons bigger than myself.
When people believe in you, you are given another breath to breathe. Love breathes life into you.
Special thanks to Gay F for the cozy blanket. Rebecca for the jammies and Jean for the amazing Edible arrangement.
MARQUETTE 50K. DREAM
Jeremiah 33:3 "Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. "
PLEASE keep me in prayer. Saturday I am going to attempt a 50k. I was signed up for a 50 mile but I have a couple more brain cells to not do that!
By skipping a week of chemo it pushed everything back a week, allowing me to NOT have carboplatin. And by me getting a blood transfusion it raised my hemoglobin up higher than it has been in over a year, 12!.
I am NOT racing this. I am taking my time, enjoying every mile of beauty and prepared to DNF if I feel at all concerned.
This is a dream. A still believe in dreaming. I am NOT going to let Cancer rob me of my dreams.
“Hope lies in dreams, in imagination, and in the courage of those who dare to make dreams into reality.” ~Jonas Salk
Run Devil Run...David Crowder.
Anita
Sending prayers your way for an amazing race on Saturday. No matter the outcome, take the time to revel in the beauty of God's perfect Grace. It's everywhere. Every breath you take is HIS! May He grant you your dream. ((Hugs))
ReplyDeleteThank you Sheryl! Dreams give Hope, Hope gives life...God has blessed me in this ugly in so many ways.
DeleteVampires is not at all like in the movies or books. Sure, I understand. You are young you have the whole world open to you. You can be anything that you choose if you apply yourself and try hard to work toward that goal. But being a Vampire is not what it seems like. It’s a life full of good, and amazing things. We are as human as you are.. It’s not what you are that counts, But how you choose to be. Do you want a life full of interesting things? Do you want to have power and influence over others? To be charming and desirable? To have wealth, health, and longevity, I can help you solve any problem you are having
ReplyDelete(1) If you want your ex back.
(2) If you want to stop having bad dreams.
(3) You want to be promoted in your office.
(4) You want women/men to run after you.
(5) If you want a child.
(6) You want to be rich.
(7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
(8) If you need financial assistance.
(9) If you want to stop your divorce.
(10 If you want to divorce your husband.
(11) If you want your wishes to be granted.
contact the Vampires Lord on his Email: Richvampirekindom@gmail.com