RUNNING Against the OdDs: Get out of Your Head.

Monday, August 20, 2018

Get out of Your Head.

As I look back over the last week, I want to first off apologize to anyone that I may have offended. I was RAGING.
I was a hot tamale when it comes to emotions.

I let things get to me and rent space in my head that had no business camping out there.
I caught myself talking about things that I needed to LET GO.
I took things personally that were NOT mine to adhere to.
A chip on my shoulder? If only it was a chip, it was a shark bite that took a chunk of my sanity with it.

Raging hormones, unmet expectations, grief, long days mixed with multiple other things made the perfect cocktail for a Big Brat.

I know I said a few snide remarks, I shared some negative thoughts, I responded when I should have just brushed things off and if you are reading this and you were caught in my web, I apologize.

I had over 75 miles in last week, you would think that with all that running I would have sifted through my tangled thoughts.
One of my biggest character defects is letting words ruminate in my head.

I am gratefully smiling again after a couple weeks of depression.
I received the most beautiful card in the mail last week. I read it over and over. When I read it I instantly felt my Love Tank fill.
Depression and sadness are very awkward grounds for people. People typically will avoid you or even cower away from you. But this person took the courage and the genuine concern for me and reached out sharing sentiments that were sympathetic filled with love.
Isn't that what most of us want at the end of the day?
Someone to Love Us. To feel Loved.

Running is my Therapy.
I am not sure where I would be if I became immobile.
If you are struggling, if your in a dark place, if depression is a companion, an acquaintance or a shadow that lurks too close you have to MOVE.

The last couple days I have had some solo miles to THINK. Sometimes I put so much in my day that I don't have to listen to myself.
Being an extrovert I will gather people all around me afraid to be left alone, with myself.

I was in a trance, pondering things, so many things. I took my inventory, humbly reminding myself how I am a work in progress and hoping that people would give me grace. More grace than I was willing to give myself.

After my pea brain couldn't absorb anymore I decided I would GET out of MY HEAD and move on. I turned a pod cast on and within a few minutes I was laughing out loud in the canopy of the woods.

YES Laughter, so good for the soul.
I ran 18 miles, called my son and he wanted to go kayaking.
Filthy, stinky and tired I said "I'm on my way!"
I had 21 miles in my head...I had this run planned all week...but AGAIN, I got OUT OF MY HEAD.
Saturday night I ran 11.5 miles
Sunday I ran 8 miles making todays run a TIRED one.

I finished up what was SUPPOSED to be a 21 mile run and without regrets headed home.