When you stumble make it part of the dance. Everyone messes up. It's part of the dance of life. So the next time you stumble, smile at the crowd, kick up your heels, and dance a jig! The moment you embrace it as your own, no one will know it's not part of your dance.
Suzy Toronto
A1A Marathon was a petri dish of new running experiences for me. Many times throughout the marathon I had to claw my way back from quitting out of frustration from my mistake that would cost me more than my goals.
A1A Marathon
Marathon: 178 participants
Half Marathon: 1975 participants
Location: Ft. Lauderdale
Temps: 77/85
Starting Time: 5:50am, 20 people go at a time.
Course Description: "Our Marathon course features 26.2 miles of signature South Florida beauty, loaded with miles of unobstructed ocean views. The fast, flat course is ideal for those looking to achieve Boston qualifying times. If you’re searching for the ideal winter destination running event, then look no further! Run Fort Lauderdale…. Where the Ocean is Your Finish Line!!"
"You can find evidence to support anything you believe about yourself. So you might as well believe you can achieve your most outlandish goals." Julie Sygiel, Chemical Engineer & Entrepreneur
I stood in the cluster of runners waiting to be directed to the starting mat. I was excited, nervous, and back to excited.
I had overwhelming thoughts of failure running through my head. I knew I had ramped up my training. I knew my body was weaker, older and still damaged but a girl can dream.
And that is what I did. I believed I could accomplish this outlandish goal of running a sub 4 hour marathon.
I think everyone knew my goal was a pipe dream but me.
Literally, right out of the gate it went south! As we crossed the timing mat, the volunteer threw her arm out and stopped us from going with that group of runners. Instinctually, I stopped my watch. In typical Anita fashion, I forgot to start it when the volunteer ushered us to go!
My watch beeped at me to notify me it was shutting down and I was sick. CRAP CRAP. My distance was at least a half a mile off.
Despite the rising temperatures I kept pace. I ran with my handheld that contained electrolytes and I had a pack of salt tabs along with 3 of my favorite Espresso Gu's. I knew I had to hit every aid station to stay hydrated. I hadn't ran in temps this warm in months.
I was hitting my splits, smiling and sweating. Everything was good until confusion collided with me. All the people I was running with had fallen behind as the sun heated up the pavement. I came unto a very large "15" mile marker connected to a timer. I freaked out looking at my watch that only said 13.72. Without much thought I had myself convinced I had missed a turn. So I turned around.
This mistake would be the beginning of the end.
"Sometimes you have to push yourself, and it can be uncomfortable. You will want to quit. But if you can find your edge and embrace the discomfort even for a little bit, you'll find a new level of fitness, skill, and knowledge. And there's n better feeling than growth." Roisin McGettigan-Dumas
I turned around and RAN! I picked up my pace as all these thoughts and adrenaline flooded my body and mind. I was befuddled by my mistake. But then I saw all the people I was originally running with and they looked at me bewildered shouting out to me. Now I was even more stumped. Then I saw Leeanne. I wanted to cry. DEAR GOD what have I done. Every time I stopped to ask someone they didn't know.
"You have to cross 4 timing mats" one of the volunteers said. Desperately, trying to keep pace I realized I should never have turned around. SO I turned around again to try to catch up to the group that had just passed me.
I was frantic and exhausted from stopping and going. It was over 80 degrees and my watch had me at 15 miles. I caught of to the guy I had started running the race with. I explained my mess and asked him his miles. I was a mile ahead of him. This really meant I was over a mile and a half ahead because of my mishap before I even started.
I wanted to quit.
I tried to come up with all these different ways to finish. I thought maybe I would just cut the course. But then that would be cheating. I didn't want to get disqualified and I am not a cheater. I was so upset I wasn't thinking straight. Reality set in. I wasn't going to make my goal time. I didn't even know how I would finish upright. My left calf was wanting to cramp and I couldn't get my heart rate to settle down. I had peed myself multiple times and knew I needed to keep drinking. I just wanted to quit so bad. Even though my Garmin said 25 miles I knew I had to go to 27 miles and I was so discouraged. I was walking every aid station and begging my body to keep moving. I felt alone even with hundreds of people around me. "Get to the next mile Anita."
The ocean waves were crashing on my left, the sun was beating over my shoulder, and I realized I was RUNNING. I was doing what I love. I knew despite my body falling apart, my skin burning underneath the blazing sun, running over my miles, getting turned around, I WAS RUNNING. I wasn't going to quit, I wasn't going to walk it in, I was going to keep running through the pain of mistakes and sore muscles with gratitude and giving God the Glory to the finish line.
I had slowed my pace down and surprisingly passed other runners. "Come On, stay with me" I coaxed struggling runners. "Your doing great, your almost there." I cheered for those like me struggling to not fall apart anymore.
I looked for the finish line with stinging eyes. I heard someone yelling it me to my left. It was my brother and sister in love. I found a smile, a genuine smile. I got this.
"Look at that, She HAS A KICK, LOOK AT HER GO!!" the race director cheered me on with SMILES as I finally made it to the finish line! It was UGLY but I made it!
The Take Away.
"Sometimes you have to push yourself, and it can be uncomfortable. You will want to quit. But if you can find your edge and embrace the discomfort even for a little bit, you'll find a new level of fitness, skill, and knowledge. And there's no better feeling than growth." Roisin McGettigan-Dumas
It sure is embarrassing to make those mistakes. Its a hard pill to swallow missing your goal by almost 20 minutes. I was crushed at how bad I did. I was humbled by the heat and much more. I hadn't ran a road marathon in over a year and a half. I am not a quitter. Yes, I made a terrible mistake, one that would cost me my goal but also a mistake that would remind me I AM NOT A QUITTER. A mistake that would painfully teach me who I am and who I am not. That I can readjust and redirect myself. That even in my failure I can help others and think outside myself.
Inspiration Corner: I have ran with Doug for several years. He is a very good runner. Thursday nights I run with CRU and he is one of the regulars. Doug very kindly asked about my marathon. He was genuine and gracious with his words. He didn't tease me or embarrass me. It meant a lot.
When I was sick Doug was very charitable and thoughtful. He is a great reminder of generosity
and thoughtfulness.
ALSO..THANK YOU TO ALL THAT PARTICIPATE WITH THE CONTEST, DANIELLE WON!!
Anita
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