What if....

"Pulling up a crop to help it grow" is a very old Chinese proverb.  I read about it today doing my devotion. This particular proverb is about an impatient man in the Song Dynasty. He is eager to see his rice seedlings grow quickly, so he would pull up each plant a few inches. After a day of tedious work the man surveyed his paddy field. He was happy that his crop seemed to have "grown" taller. But his joy was short-lived. The next day, the plants had begun to wither because their roots were no longer deep. 

You can not cheat whatever "Crop" you are trying to grow. 

This was a great illustration for me this week.  

The voices in your head during a long run can be quite exhausting.  I want to have my old legs and lungs back. I want to be stronger, faster better and I want it now. I feel the frustration growing as I struggle running in places that used to be easy. So much effort with minimal results. It all just seems like a whole heck of a lot of work.  

This proverb was such a gentle reminder that growth is not something that happens overnight. And you can not cheat trying. 

Cancer was a huge set back. I want to see the fruits of my labor but growth takes time. And growth is not always the picture we see it to be. I am almost 47 years old, I may never see the strength or pace running I had 2 years ago. These thoughts can be discouraging especially when you are laboring so hard. 

BUT yesterday as I ran I thought..

What if.....

What if I quit trying back in April 2019 when I was first diagnosed?

What if on my days I got chemo I decided I shouldn't run rather than getting up early to get a few "junk" miles in? 
What if on the days I didn't feel like it I stayed on the couch rather than at least going for a walk? 

What if when my oncologist said "Anita, if you are going to run then you have to come in another day during the week for blood draws so we can monitor you closely and I said "No" because it hurts and takes extra time? 

"What if on those days I cried from exhaustion and discomfort I never even tried? 

What if when I tore my meniscus in January I decided "God didn't want me to run"? 

or What if when I suffered for months from PF I quit everything and never got on the bike that I HATE? 

Would I be running now?

Would I have been able to do the very things I complain to myself aren't good enough? 

This little Chinese proverb was such a great reminder in  multiple ways

1. Keep doing the work
2. You can't cheat growth
3. Never give up
4. Find gratitude

Saturday, I headed out to Holly Rec. The plan was to run 3 loops, 18 miles. I was prepared, I had my nutrition, my hydration my rocks to hide and even a battery for my phone so I could listen to music. 

It was a solo run but the park was not lonely. My first loop I felt great, I stayed on track. The second loop I went into it feeling good. I met some new runners and said "Hi" to everyone and their dogs. 

I paused my watch as I hid a rock and off I went. I heard a "beep beep" noise and discovered I forgot to start my watch. I wanted 18 miles. I did that 2 times, forget to turn my watch back on after dropping a rock. I knew I had lost at least a half a mile. I wanted my watch to say 18 miles. So I ran extra. I was so tired I actually fell going down one of the hills smacking my left hip. I seem to favor my left side. I fell in the same place last week and I still have a angry scrape across my shin. 

It was then, wiping myself off, assessing the damage I began to pout in my misery. 

There was no cutting corners to get to 18 miles. I knew I had to just get back up and keep going. 

I found that frown begin to grin...

I was going to finish a 18 mile run. I was hitting my goals. 

I never cheated my crop. 

When all the odds were stacked against me I never quit. 

Growth takes time, its hard work, it hurts, but you have to keep working. Learn to be patient in the process. 

Another Chinese proverbs says: 

It is impossible to add much weight with a single morsel; it is hard to travel afar with a single step.

One can't expect success overnight. Used to encourage people to work hard instead of seeking an impossible shortcut.

But GOD'S word says it perfectly.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Gal 6:9

WHAT IF you quit before something amazing was about to happen?

Anita~

Another Turkey trot in the books with these ladies!