"The will of God will not take us where the grace of God cannot sustain us."
Jim Ryun Olympic silver medalist and world record holder
Sunday is Chicago Marathon, 26.2 miles. You might think "Ah, that's no big deal for you..." But it is a big pain in the a$$ right now, literally.
Holy Moly my emotions are on overdrive. The last few weeks have reminded me exactly why I HATE road marathons. They BREAK me. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Up until about 3 weeks ago, training actually had me encouraged and fairly confident for a steep goal I had set for myself. Sure, I experienced the usual aches and pains (because let's be honest, at 51 years old, I wake up with these even without running,) but I was in a good place with my body and I thought my body wasn't overly angry at me.
Then came the slow fade as my body quit forgiving me. NO more chances. The icing on the CAKE...Growlers Gallup 10 mile run. I can run 100 miles, and my body forgives me more than a 10-mile run. This race literally was a pain in the a$$- my piriformis is so angry at me.
So here I am 3 days out trying to convince myself of new goals and then also trying to find peace with them...though I'm not even sure what those goals actually are.
I always try to find the silver lining in my misfortunes, a little lesson, and always try to hear what the Lords trying to say to me.
It seems the only thing I keep hearing is "Marathons are your nemesis, if you weren't broken you will be!"
I have stuck to the taper in hopes that Motrin counts as cross training and recovery. Today, I ran 4 whopping miles, and I would have to say "healed and recovered where NOT how I would describe my run!
But I scheduled a massage in hopes they could fix any damage I had. It was more like a medieval torture demo, I was sweating and clenching my teeth.
In closing, Here I am, like most of my pre-race posts-living on a prayer. It's becoming morbidly habitual, back at it again, living on a prayer again and the same slightly delusional hope: Lord, some clarity would be great, it you could untangle those thoughts, healing would be fabulous, and peace- please, the Peace that passes all understanding.
THE RUNDOWN:
Many if you wonder WHY I keep doing this, knowing injury is part of my gamble. But this morning, on my 4-mile run, I was reminded of ANOTHER reason I continue to run.
The air was crisp, pure October in Michigan. The sky was a soft, endless blue, and the dew drifted, dissolving in the first light. As the slow mist lifted, glory came alive around me.
Even as my body felt broken, my heart was whole. Because this is where I meet the Lord-out in His masterpiece, surrounded by beauty that outshines the pain. This is what triumphs over the trial.
His Glory is Great
I would Love some prayers. And any opportunity to Shine His Glory in this marathon.
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| Date nite to see Red Clay Strays |
In Peace, Not Pieces,
Anita
The morning of my first DNS, at the Flying Pig no less, when I saw the state wide lightning forecast and Noah’s Ark levels of rain, my first thought was What am I trying to prove? And to whom? What more can I prove that I haven’t proven the first 30 times? It’s OK to say today isn’t my day. It’s OK to add in walk breaks. It’s OK if your goal is have fun. It’s OK if you start and pull yourself from the course. Everyone knows you’re a rockstar. You’ve beyond proven that with every race you do. Everyone supports you. Sometimes age / wisdom lead us to different decisions than pure grit and willpower used to. And that’s ok. You’re a fighter, even when you have to fight yourself <3
ReplyDeleteThank you for your words!!
DeleteIt is so encouraging to hear the words of others. You blessed me.