The Realities of RED FLAGS: HOPE

 "And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulations bring about perseverance, and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope: Romans 5:3-4

Each year older brings me to the reality the I am capping the mountain of life. My sweet Grandma always said to me, "Anita, I have climbed up the mountain, and I am on my way back down.".  The truth in my grandma's words always stung. I viewed her as the strongest women I knew. I borrowed her strength secretly, I found myself clinging to it in my infant faith, I needed hers. 

HOPE

The last few weeks I have had to surrender myself in the maze of life. The path has been a bit unmarked, and I have found myself stumbling and unclear which direction to go. 

I haven't found clear directions and the wandering feels fierce, but I cling to the Lord. I grapple in hope that He is leading me blindly and it is frightening the unknown. 

HOPE

The warm summer of comfort has dissolved, and the gloom is sneaking in. My body is creaking just a bit more this season and my injury is adding some unwanted details. 

HOPE

I am three weeks out from intentionally facing the realities of RED FLAGS.  

INJURIES from my own stupidity. 

Denial is not a river in Egypt. I saw the red flags; hey, I felt the red flags and the truth is I had friends confront me with my red flags even. 

But the reality of the red flags set in when I had to step down from running. 

I confused HOPE with HURT. I HOPED that my HURT body was not a big deal even though the Lord had shown me otherwise. 

HOPE doesn't sugar coat of circumstances. 

HOPE doesn't glaze over the heartbeat of hardships. 

HOPE doesn't give us false truths to build our ego. 

BUT what HOPE does is so much more. 

HOPE redirects our meandering into HIS message. 

HOPE strengthens us as we go out cautiously into uncharted territories. 

HOPE shines the direction that we are searching for. 

SO many of us are drifting through mine fields. We are beaten up by this broken world and broken relationships. We are scared to make a move, and we are disoriented by the damage of our last steps.

Some of us struggle to hold onto HOPE because we are still searching for the God we have heard of but the god we feel has delivered so much pain. 

HOPE

Hope didn't dissolve my red flags. Hope gave me grace to accept them and confront them. Hope gave me the courage to face my character defects, and the Lord picked me up from that ugly realization. 

Hope reaches down for me in my faults and flaws. Then Hope stands me back up, holds me and directs my feeble spirit forward. 

Some life events have reminded me that hope has no limitations. And while the visibility of hope may not always shine brightly, it still outshines the darkness. 

Hope closes the gap of discouragement and despair, but it requires action. You have to exercise it. 

HOPE

THE RUNDOWN

I continue to keep my miles down and stay off the pavement. I am still doing my McGill's 3 - 6days a week along with other strength training. I have been hitting the gym again, rowing, stair climber, weights and dreadmill work out. 

DREADMILL workout: Start the incline at 3 and pace at about 9:30min/mi. I increase the incline and do about 3.5-4 miles. I add running backwards with the incline and a I just added a decline of 3%. 

 This week I slowly added more miles and was grateful to get to run at Pontiac Lake today. 

I have HOPE. HOPE doesn't ignore RED FLAGS-it helps me face them with honestly and courage. It steadies my heart when my body or circumstances warn me to slow down, listen, adjust or accept. Hope gives me gives me the courage instead of fear and the peace to trust Him. 

But I have a lot of hard work today. Hope doesn't always give instant results or even the results we might think we deserve. 

Hope does give peace though. And that's what I need to settle my drifting heart and anchor me in His will for me. 

"Now may the God of HOPE fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

**PLEASE share what HOPE is to YOU, I would love to hear. 

In Peace Not Pieces

ANITA~

The Things I Do Not Want To Do

 "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." 

Romans 7:15

Andersons orders have been to keep running, 

• but cut the load way back
• get off the pavement
• do the "McGills 3's"
• check out Squat University
• get stronger

I laughed when Dana Anderson told me to start strength training. I knew it was coming. 

So I am 2 weeks out, doing all the things he said and feel just as old and broken. I took two days off this week, reluctantly. 

I do the things I do not want to do. 

I am doing these exercises that look so basic and find myself sweating in frustration as I am humbled at the struggle in them. 

And the things I want to do I don't. 

I wanted to run so bad yesterday, but I didn't. 

I didn't run for 2 days, hoping today was going to be the day I felt like a gazelle through the woods.

The sky was as crystal clear, an endless gazing blue that invited you out to play. 

I wanted to run and run, but I knew I couldn't. I didn't even know what my body would do.  

I could see my breath as I got out of my truck at the trail head. And I smiled. 

I was going to give this run all my emotions. 

All my heart. 

All my frustrations. 

All the best and all the worst I had. 

 

I have been running mostly solo because this injury feels so burdensome and I don't want the pressure of being "Chipper" when I feel like dookie. 

I could smell the wet leaves, and the woods were calling me. Life was calling me to go forward, to lay it all down and go. I was scared to move not knowing how my body would respond. 

It only took a few steps onto the trail to feel my body want to pull back. I have learned that my body will loosen up after a couple miles, so I just needed to GO!

The trail was covered in beautiful amber and red leaves.  This beautiful path is hiding ankle breaking roots, sharp rocks and a mystery of unhinged injuries waiting to happen. 

I felt fear as my heart skipped a beat as I tried to get my body to dance around the obstacles. 

My voice was screaming over my music, "Stay Strong" and "Pick up your feet". 

My hands were in fists tucked in my jacket as I slowly warmed up. The chill faded away pretty fast as I decided I would run all the hills. If it was going to hurt, I may as well go all in. 

And I went. My body cooperated with some back talk. 

With every mile I fought off frustration and focused the finish. I welcomed the solitude in prayer and praise even in my pain. 

The woods hid me deep inside her home. The brief windows of light shattered the dim lit forest, at times blinding you. After a while, I forget about the ache in my piriformis. I was in love. 

I ran 6 miles. I would have loved 2 loops but embraced the one loop with gratitude the Lord allowed me to have those. 

THE RUNDOWN:

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." 

Romans 7:15

While I was running, I was thinking of this verse. It felt rather fitting when I was thinking about my week of running/not running. 

The verse actually encouraged me. sometimes doing the right thing feels so awful. I hate following these orders. I want to do what I WANT. And the truth is, that is probably why I am in this position of pain all together! 

A good reminder that sometimes we have to do the very thing we do not want to do. And it doesn't always make sense or feel good, but it is the good thing. 

OCT 13-19-34 Miles

OCT 20-26-27 Miles

OCT 27-NOV2- 26Miles

I have cut my miles back about 40%. I will stay here for the month of November. 

In Peace, not Pieces.

Anita 

What IF....The Dream you didn't know

What if that bucket of tears was for tomorrows dream come true?

What if those nightmare of realities were paving the way for tomorrows dream come true?

What if those broken promises were purposeful for tomorrows dream come true?

What if the days of barely scraping by were for tomorrows dream come true?

What if the orphaned child or the bouts of depression were all for tomorrows dream come true?

What if the reckless recoveries, the mindless dreams, the raging screams of hollowed grief were all for tomorrows dream come true?

What if the childhood addiction and addiction unseen were all for tomorrows dream come true?

What if the seasons trapped in a broken body were all for tomorrows dream come true?

What if the disappointments and the discouragements were all for tomorrows dream come true?

What if the cancer that ravaged me was all for tomorrows dream come true?

What if it ALL HAD A PURPOSE? 

BECAUSE it DID. 

I can't say for certain it was all for tomorrows dream come true, but I can say this with certainty, the Lord had a purpose for it all.  

What if your dream come true was a dream you didn't even know you had. 

WESTERN STATES

There are miracles one can't explains: BUT GOD. 

In the darkest, deepest depths, The Lord is shaping that dream- 

the becoming of Tomorrows Dream Come True.

Western States is a dream come true for many ultra runners. 

In 2025, they had 9,993 applicants, The race is limited to 369 runners. 

In 2025, 109 of those 369 were automatic entrants leaving the 260 lottery spots. 

The odds of being selected with very few tickets are extremely low, making the DREAM of running Western States more remarkable. 

So, with nearly 10,000 applicants chasing 260 lottery spots, literally means you are running against the odds of getting selected, about 2.6% in a best-case scenario IF everyone had equal opportunity but that's not the case. 

BAFFLED at the RAFFLE of Western States: The BACK Story.

Western States does 2 RAFFLE DRAWINGS each year: the Friday before the race in June and at the lottery in December. Each raffle winner gets a free automatic entry to the run. 

If you are one of the lucky ones to win the raffle into the iconic race you still have to have a qualifying 100 miler. 

In December of 2024, Joe Burns had his dream come true, he won a raffle spot! These raffle spots give up to 5 winners depending on how much money they raise. The raffle is a ticket purchase raffle that awards automatic, free entries. The tickets are sold by mail/in person (5$ each; 4$ when buying 10+) 

Like me and many others Joe Burns had this same dream. And he was a lucky winner, HOWEVER, he still had to present a qualifying race. Joe worked hard all 2025 to make that happen. In October, Joe race Hennepin 100. All heart, grit and hope he did everything to finish but his feet were having no part of it and he was not able to complete the race. 

The raffles are transferrable BUT again, the person had to have completed a Western States qualifying race. 

Joe did some behind the scenes work. He contacted the RD and asked if he could transfer his entry. He shared I had run Sulphur Springs 100 in May, and it was a qualifying race. Joe then secretly contacted Andy and together they orchestrated the unforgettable surprise. 

God of the What If's

I was counting the days down until I could put my measly ticket into the lottery, knowing the odds of getting into Western States were slim to none. And then came this GIFT.

It left me speechless. 

At home processing this I was quiet in humble gratitude that the Lord would orchestrate something so extraordinary. 

My hearts dialogue was- and still is-one of complete AWE. 

Who am I, Lord?

Just a ragamuffin, a nobody by the world's standards. YET, even on the moments when I question His purpose, question the pain and can't find the point of so many things He continues to show Himself in great and mighty ways. He shows me He has never forgotten me or my dreams. 

Those moments of heartbreak and hardship, of confusion and silence are where His perseverance becomes my story. He has asked me to do the hard things in life and trusted me with great weight. They are proving grounds of FAITH. The place HOPE flickers and endurance is tested. 

WHAT if every hardship, every unanswered prayer, every tear shed in the dark is really a stepping stone- a test of faith, a lesson of perseverance, a seed of hope? Because I believe behind every tear, every trial, the Lord is shaping REDEMPTION, if we just don't give up. 

I believe the LORD wastes nothing. He has DREAMS we never thought would come true and dreams we never had available for us if we never quit doing the hard things. 

The Lords Sense of Humor:

Ironically, when Joe surprised me with the raffle ticket, I was already nursing an a piriformis/sciatica injury. Funny how dreams can come true when you are dealing with a pain in the arse! Timing is always Gods specialty, and so is His sense of humor!

CHICAGO MARATHON
Thank you for all the prayers!! 

4h02 minutes powered by mostly prayers and port-potties! I ran with Jazz and Donny, and let's just say I've never logged so many pit stops in one race.

My legs were fine, but my tush protested the first half. I found my second wind and thankfully things finally loosened up as I tried to chase a sub 4 hour with the guys. Those bathroom breaks had other plans, like over 10 minutes! However, we laughed our way through Chicago and I wouldn't trade one mile of it!

Grand Rapids MARATHON 

A week later, I committed to pacing Sara for her sub-5 marathon goal-and we came so close, finishing at 5:02. We ran in her dream weather and my ultimate nightmare: rain, wind, and chilly temps.
I shivered and shook my way through with Sarah K bandit running it for extra support!  I had instant relief when I spotted the BIGGBY coffee shop just a couple blocks past the finish line! 

After both these marathons, Joe presented his gift, and I knew to settle down and let my body heal. 

Ephesians 3:20

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us." 

In Peace, Not Pieces

Anita

Chicago Marathon: Prayers and Piriformis

"The will of God will not take us where the grace of God cannot sustain us." 

Jim Ryun Olympic silver medalist and world record holder

I have been on the down low about this coming weekend, probably because I have not felt really great about this coming weekends marathon. 

Sunday is Chicago Marathon, 26.2 miles. You might think "Ah, that's no big deal for you..." But it is a big pain in the a$$ right now, literally.

Holy Moly my emotions are on overdrive. The last few weeks have reminded me exactly why I HATE road marathons. They BREAK me. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. 

Up until about 3 weeks ago, training actually had me encouraged and fairly confident for a steep goal I had set for myself. Sure, I experienced the usual aches and pains (because let's be honest, at 51 years old, I wake up with these even without running,) but I was in a good place with my body and I thought my body wasn't overly angry at me. 

 

Then came the slow fade as my body quit forgiving me. NO more chances. The icing on the CAKE...Growlers Gallup 10 mile run. I can run 100 miles, and my body forgives me more than a 10-mile run. This race literally was a pain in the a$$- my piriformis is so angry at me. 

So here I am 3 days out trying to convince myself of new goals and then also trying to find peace with them...though I'm not even sure what those goals actually are. 

I always try to find the silver lining in my misfortunes, a little lesson, and always try to hear what the Lords trying to say to me. 

It seems the only thing I keep hearing is "Marathons are your nemesis, if you weren't broken you will be!"

I have stuck to the taper in hopes that Motrin counts as cross training and recovery. Today, I ran 4 whopping miles, and I would have to say "healed and recovered where NOT how I would describe my run! 

But I scheduled a massage in hopes they could fix any damage I had. It was more like a medieval torture demo, I was sweating and clenching my teeth. 

In closing, Here I am, like most of my pre-race posts-living on a prayer. It's becoming morbidly habitual, back at it again, living on a prayer again and the same slightly delusional hope: Lord, some clarity would be great, it you could untangle those thoughts, healing would be fabulous, and peace- please, the Peace that passes all understanding. 

THE RUNDOWN:

Many if you wonder WHY I keep doing this, knowing injury is part of my gamble. But this morning, on my 4-mile run, I was reminded of ANOTHER reason I continue to run. 

The air was crisp, pure October in Michigan. The sky was a soft, endless blue, and the dew drifted, dissolving in the first light. As the slow mist lifted, glory came alive around me. 

Even as my body felt broken, my heart was whole. Because this is where I meet the Lord-out in His masterpiece, surrounded by beauty that outshines the pain. This is what triumphs over the trial.

His Glory is Great

I would Love some prayers. And any opportunity to Shine His Glory in this marathon. 

Date nite to see Red Clay Strays

In Peace, Not Pieces, 

Anita

Running on Empty

"When your running on empty, God's grace is the fuel that carries you." Billy Graham

The Ugly Finish

 Four hours on the expressway, a solo trip after work from Michigan to Indiana. The sky was painted blue without interruption, just like my wild and crazy thoughts. 

The traffic on 69 was moving fast and steady, the cars pushing well past the speed limit, again like my tangled thoughts. These thoughts moved quickly, weaving in and out like the lanes of traffic. 

My oldest son was moving to North Carolina, my heart was heavy, it was my deceased mother's birthday, and it was the anniversary of me ringing that cancer bell.  

I was headed south to meet a group of women for a Prisilla Shirer conference, and the solo drive was the only thing that made sense to navigate my head space. 

It would be a simple weekend, yet I knew even before I arrived, that these hours would not be ordinary. In the space of just a couple evening, our hearts would draft close, bonded as sisters in Christ through laughter, prayer and the power of His Word.  

10%

Priscilla spoke about something she called the 10%. This is a concept I've often joked about with my husband, but this came across a little different. 

"Where is your FAITH in the 10%?"

My ears were pierced, and my attention was intentional, this is the 10% I see so many I love including myself lose steam. 

That four-hour drive home was the same beautiful drive only my thoughts were flowing differently. 

The 10% concept was driven home when I realized the gas gauge crept lower and lower. 

When the warning light flickered on, it was a sharp reminder: I NEEDED FUEL. 

Still, I pushed it further than I should have. 

My car had warned me.

Andy had warned me-"Don't wait, the gas stations are few and far between." Yet I kept driving, ignoring the signs, until the worry set in and my thoughts started racing. 

And I thought with a subtle laugh....

This is exactly what happens when we let our spiritual tanks run too low. 

• The Warning Signs of Low Fuel: a short temper, a weary heart, a prayer life that grows thin. Just like the dashboard light, the spirit nudges us, but we often brush it off. 
• The Distractions of Running Empty: Instead of focusing on where God is leading, we're consumed with whether we'll even make it another mile. FEAR replaces FAITH and anxiety takes the driver's seat. 
• When Fear Settles in at 10%: The question isn't just "Do I have enough?' rather "Am I trusting Him with the little I have?" Even in the warning zones of life, FAITH must stay steady. 

The RUNDOWN

And sometimes, when the tank is low, it's not just about pulling in for fuel, its about slowing down. I was so busy keeping up with traffic I wasn't paying attention to how quickly my tank was emptying. 

I eased off the accelerator when the gauge was in the red, hoping to stretch the gas a little farther. I laughed again as I saw the correlation. 

I felt this same thing only physically on Sunday night. 

Growlers Gallup 10 mile race. When I arrived home that afternoon from the conference I had a race in Detroit just a few hours later. 

The race started at 4pm, it was 85' and I was surrounded by fast runners. Our friend Donny was going to try to pace me. By mile 6, I was completely depleted, running on empty, and ready to quit. Donny slowly began pulling farther and farther ahead and I knew I couldn't hold that pace. So I slowed down. I didn't finish the way I pictured, but I still finished just different, steadier, and with enough left in the tank to cross the finish line.  

Sometimes the warning light comes on and instead of pushing harder the best thing to do is to ease the pace, trust God with the miles ahead and let Him refuel us along the way. 

1st place in my age group

"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."  Isaiah 40:31

 

In Peace not Pieces,

Anita

Its just easier than...

"But Jesus Himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray." Luke 5:15

When my body breaks on the trail, I know how to respond to it. 

Give me the honest ache of muscle and bone- the fierce language of physical pain and I can keep going. 

I can push myself into a path of unknown, I can cover miles of unplanned, and I can tumble through angry terrain and let the hard work carve me down to TRUTH. 

Let my heartbeat pound like a battle cry,

Let desperation pierce me.

And I will meet you another mile. 

I can sweat until my shirt clings and I my eyes sting and I taste the end is near.

That is the kind of grief I can manage: finite, accountable, earned. 

But the kind of pain that lives in yesterday- the slow, quiet undoing hope-is a different kind of torment. 

Grief and disappointment will try to bury is, be our undertaker. It wants to tuck me into a confusing sleep where mothing makes sense. 

The sweat of despair on the day, or my soul crying in hopelessness.

The pain of the mundane, the distractions, the disappointments of yesterday's hauntings and today's realities want to bury me and leave me lost in a slumber of confusion. 

SO I RUN. 

I run into the woods, through the backroads and into the wind because the path lets me speak the language I know. I can cry out among pines and rocks and hear an answer that feels like God's own breath. 

Out there the pain has edges, its work I can breathe through, a mountain to climb, a pulse to follow. 

I can manage the mountain and the agony it takes to conquer it. 

But that mountain of mishaps, the mountain of miscommunication, that mountain of mistakes I curl inside myself. 

Even Jesus went into the wilderness alone: "But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed" Luke 5:16

In His solitude, He sought His Father. 

In Mine, I DO the SAME. 

Let it HURT.

Let it STING.

Let it BLEED and teach me how to rise again. 

This is why I run when it hurts so bad. 

Not to escape sorrow, but because in the honest, intimate aching motion of my body I find a way through the sorrow and a clearer place to listen for the Voice of The LORD. 

THE RUNDOWN

Even Jesus "often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." 

Let's say it like it is: Pain is heavy, but it is not wasted. 

Let us be reminded that solitude and struggle can draw us closer to the Lord. And we al need more Jesus. 

Out running or in my writing, pain has its place-as it does for you. 

Pain can strip us down, make us vulnerable and desperately afraid of the raw honestly revealed, but it makes space for the Lord to manage the pain that I cannot. 

In Peace, Not Pieces, 

Anita

Flip the Script

 "You can't always choose the outcome, but you can always choose to keep moving forward." Kara Goucher

A few weeks ago, I got injured. I had been so excited for my comeback at Marquette. The last time I ran Marquette was in 2019 when I was finishing my chemo from breast cancer. Then this year, I couldn't wait to go back strong and try to crush it. 

Same area, 6 years later..

When I realized, I wasn't going to have the race I hoped for due to injury, I prayed and pouted. I grieved my expectations and then made peace with them, remembering not my will, but Thy will be done. I didn't use my setback as an excuse NOT to try, nor did I let go of faith that the Lord would still show up. I kept hope, but I also carried peace-the kind that surpasses all understanding. And honestly, that peace had left the deepest imprint on my heart.

Even my client Jean asked me when I was injured, "Why don't you just not do it?" But for me, giving up was never an option.  It wasn't about proving something-it was about showing up trusting God, and running the race set before me, however it looked. 

The truth is, I didn't make my goal. And that could have left me drowning in emotional carnage-disappointment, discouragement, frustration, all heavy things we often feel. Sometimes life feels like lament, and other times like loss. But more often than not, when we step back, we realize it can just as easily turn into laughter. 

Because the truth is, we often take ourselves too seriously, and when we do, we risk missing the silver linings God has tucked into the struggle. We get stuck on stupid instead of seeing the sacred. 

This whole perspective was stirred in me again through my pastors sermon this past weekend: Don't waste your tragedy. I gave it a little different spin. God can use the pain and the pieces for His purpose and you can still shine in that darkness. 

The Rundown:

It's your race, your journey. Whether on the trail or in life it may not look like what you planned. Truth is life doesn't always give us everything we want. But learn to flip the script. When surrendered, even loss can turn into laughter and lament can move to life giving lessons. 

"And the peace of God that transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:7

In Peace, Not Pieces, 

Anita