"Experience is the hardest kind of teacher. It gives you the test first and the lesson afterward." Oscar Wilde
They are everywhere.
Some I try to make friends with and some I try to out run, out hide...out wit.
Some I can shake off and some are relentless, lurking, searching, and chasing me down.
Some I can't live without and some come and go.
Saturday, I was on a long run. They came after me before my run, and ran like a monkey on my back during.
But I discovered I am not alone.
Somewhere on the backroads we ran. I felt them on my heels as I tried to get distracted by the voice of another. The stories of another.
A detour from self I engaged in another.
She spoke of deep hurt. The kind of hurt that wraps you so tight the breath in your lungs escapes you.
The sort of affliction that grabs your voice and you tremble.
The soreness in your heart that your eyes weep without knowing.
I saw her tears resting on her cheek even after the mile we ran.
I also felt them.
Shadows
The shadows of yesterday.
The painful phantoms of heartache.
They show up in words, in memories, in moments, in failures and even in fabrications. We live with them and some we can't live without. We love them and we hate them.
They grasped me somewhere on the backroads alongside her. Gently, they held me as they opened my heart up.
THE RUNDOWN:
"No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us." Phil. 3:13-14
What are we listening to? What are we exploring?
Shadows can be the words that we hear. The moments we retrieve. Some haunt us. I hear the words said and unsaid and if not managed they will hurt me and hold me back from the calling the Lord has on me.
And have.
Before I started my run I was weighed down by the shadows of fear. I was having a party of all the ugly.
I prayed for the Lord to guide me through the ugly that was afraid of the BACK to BACK runs.
I recovered in confidence collecting all the victories the Lord had given me.
Saturday 25miles
Sunday 20miles
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And I had to JUST DO IT. Forward is FORWARD. It's releasing what is behind, mistakes, setbacks, even past victories can trip you up, but PRESS ON.
Shadows only exist because there is LIGHT. The Lord is my Light. My Hope. My Forward.
Because I feel moving FORWARD the shadows fall behind me!
I do not have to fight every shadow; I just have to keep walking in the LIGHT.
SPEAKING OF LIGHT....
Hal Koerner said 69 miles for the week.
The SUN showed up. My friends showed up. 71 Miles for the week!
Nailed the B2B.
Sunshine therapy, laughter and strong women. Let's GO 100K in APRIL!!
GLORY TO GOD!!!
In Peace, Not Pieces,
Anita
