Momentum over Perfection

"You don't have to be extreme, just consistent." Kara Goucher

Last October was the beginning of the end. 

November was acknowledging there was a significant problem, injury was no longer denied. 

December was letting my body recover and seeing professionals for an actual diagnosis. 

I saw Dana Anderson a chiropractor, he informed me I had a back problem.

I saw my primary who sent me for x-rays and Pt.

I saw the PT at my athletic club who also confirmed it was a back problem. 

I did 4 weeks of PT 3 days a week at 80$ a pop! out of pocket. I felt more broke when I finished!

I prayed. Like anyone in desperation. I thought surely the Lord was sick of hearing from me. And to pray over my running...I wondered if the Lord was eye rolling at my requests as He was taking care of world catastrophes. 

All the professionals gave me HOPE and ENCOURAGMENT. Each saying "If you do everything we say, you will be up and running WSR in June is no problem. 

And yet I felt so hopeless and depressed. 

Fear was infiltrating me faster than hope. 

I couldn't tie my shoes, I couldn't pick my legs up to go into a run position, I couldn't sit for long periods, and I was in constant pain. 

Between my back, my piriformis and my sciatica, the drama of life, pain was speaking loudly and the winter blues were a sure calling. 

Stepping in February

• My fitness isn't on point, but my injury is about 90% healed. 
• I have a 100K at the end of April, this will be my first test of what Western States training will look like. 
• I started in the back for training, so far behind I couldn't even look at the plan. When I finally did in the beginning of January ONE thing was clear- momentum matters more than perfection. 

So I knew I just had to start showing up in ANY capacity, and at that point it was mostly MENTAL. The Mind has to direct you, that is our first discipline. 

• I allowed myself to embrace every mile with celebration and gratitude.

Yesterday, I allowed myself to literally do a Happy Dance! I finished my 3rd-double digit running day in a row for the first time in months. I was able to get my first 60 mile run week since last fall. 

Intentionally Rebuilding

• No chasing SPEED.
• No worrying about hills or elevation.
• Just laying down base miles and slowly rebuilding endurance. 

The real work is happening in the shadows of the run:

• Daily physical therapy exercises (the unglamorous but necessary work)
• Massage (not so relaxing kind)
• Compression boots Andy got me-30 minutes every day (absolute GAME CHANGER)
• MSM Powder my friend Lynn gave me. This VILE powder has been undeniably helpful for muscular recovery. I should be significantly sore with my increasing milage but I am NOT!

RUNDOWN: Behind 

Saturday: 18 miles

Sunday: 10 miles

Monday: 12 miles

Yesterday, was a solo run, a total mental game. I knew my strength had to come from my mind more than my legs. We had another snow alert and with 6 more weeks of winter I was cursing the groundhog. This season is teaching me something deeper than training:

• Pain leaves us vulnerable
• Vulnerability requires safe places
• FAITH calls us to stay encouraged by the little things and motivated by the milestones

This isn't about perfect training. It is about PROTECTING my headspace. It's about GRATITUDE-for every mile, every exercise, and every sign of healing. 

If your feeling behind, weary, or unsure, know this: God honors FORWARD MOTION, NOT perfection. Keep showing up with what you have today-The Lord will meet you right where you are at and carry the rest. 

Faithfulness is never wasted. 

"Let us grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap if we do not give up." Gal: 6:9

In Peace, Not pieces,

Anita