In my Fear

 "Thus far you shall come, but no farther..." Job 38:11

Is it fear that drives you? 

It does me, when it comes to stepping out of my comfort zone. 

A couple weeks ago, maybe a few now I signed up for a race WAY OUT of my comfort zone. 

Run Rabbit Run 50 out in Colorado. I had my eye on this race all year, knowing it would be like nothing I had ever done. The elevation, the terrain and the weather would all be out of my elements. 

There is something about that, that just scares me. Just being honest. 

In that fear, is where I find my weakness.

In that fear, is where I find my shortcomings. 

In my fear, is where I find my deficiencies. 

In my fear, is where I find my fragility. 

In my fear, is where I find my powerlessness. 

For my power is made perfect in weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9

And I love that place. 

 For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:10

In my fear, I push myself afraid of failure. I can accept failure. However, I cannot accept not putting in the work to prevent it. 

JOB 38:11

Today was day three of hard workouts, today was probably one of the hardest running workouts I have done in a while. 

As I reached the top of another God forsaken hill I could hardly breath, think, or make it to the top when I hear "Thus far you shall come but no farther." 

"What? what does that mean?" I winced in agony trying not to collapse. Joe repeated it at the top looking fresh as a daisy while Rachel and I were still contemplating another loop of suffering. 

"Job 38:11" Joe said with a smirk. Rachel and I looked at each other quite shocked that Joe flippantly spouted off this scripture. 

I figured out it meant that was the end of the first loop of our suffering.  While it was taken out of context, I did figure it out!

The top photo is this mornings run in total, Rachels Garmin. 
Bottom left is mine along with my fun run with Andy tonight! 
Bottom right is about the only flat we ran this morning, I was able to take it because I wasn't dying!

HILLS

Hills are my nemesis. I am terrible at running them. My weak link, next to running in the snow.  

I did a lot of praying on the second loop. The three of us ran individually towards the end, each one of us doing our own thing to the end.  Next to praying I continued to remind myself of the elevation I needed to train for Run Rabbit Run in September. 

RUN RABBIT RUN

"The 50 mile race starts bright and early at 6 AM at the Steamboat Springs ski area (elevation, 6,900 feet) on Saturday, September 16th 2023 and proceeds up, up, up to Mount Werner (elevation, 10,568 feet) then goes up and down and up and down some more and then across the Continental Divide to Rabbit Ears Mountain (elevation, 10,500 feet) before heading back and way down to the ski area."

Back to FEAR. 

I am no spring chicken; truth is I am turning 49 this month. Training at this point I feel like fine china.  

I am working doubly as hard to just maintain. 

When I got in the car after running 2 loops, almost 12 miles I was stoked! I DID the hard stuff today. I did it scared and excited and wrapped up in fear and faith. 

I praised God for the strength He gave me. I praised God for the perseverance He provided me. 

I couldn't stop smiling. I went into it so nervous, and I came out of it accomplished. 

Not by my strength, my power, my talent, but by His power through me. 

Fear can drive us.

Fear can lead us.

BUT FEAR DOESN'T HAVE TO OWN US. 

In Peace, Not Pieces, 

Anita~