The Space Before the Gun Goes Off: WSER prt1

 "The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start." John Bingham

Western States Endurance Run (WSER)

My mind is full of thoughts, and I thought I would have them wrangled better to share. But the truth is, I am still so overwhelmed by the journey of it all, from the beginning to the end. The joy, the gratitude, the grief, the fear, the agony and the sheer magnitude of it all. 

How does a pipsqueak like me, a nobody, a detail lost in the shadows get to be part of something so extraordinary? 

I am still just tucked in such awe of it all. 

I am going to roll this out in 2 maybe 3 parts. 

1. The BEFORE

2. High Country, The Canyons, Rucky Chucky, The Road to Auburn: the FINISH

My crew. 

ANDY. LYNN. KARA.

We had sat down the night before the race with print outs, pamphlets and pow-wowed for a couple hours trying to get all the logistics down. It was going to be the hardest race we had ever navigated. 

I would not be able to see them until 26 miles, and that was if I was lucky. One-way roads, shuttles, mountain climbs with no service, would prevent them from being able to even communicate.  When we sat in the pre-race meeting, I realized how blessed I was to have 2 crews to leapfrog to me. It was going to be very taxiing on them. But as I listened to them putting all the details together, I felt so grateful to have them. I knew this was who the Lord prepared for me. 

Not only would they be threading their way to the aid stations they would all be taking turns running with me when I was at my worst. They would be my emotional support, my pacers, and my help mates. I had 30 hours to run; this was going to be the LONGEST I had ever stayed awake and the hardest 100 miles I had ever ran. By biggest challenge was going to be, not if I got sick...but when. They were going to have to help me keep running, throwing up, nauseas and depleted. 

Lynn

Andy, the Crew Chief. Andy would run the least with me but work the hardest. He would carry the weight of all. My timing, my health, my emotions, the fears of a husband. He would also be sharing information and responding to loved ones to settle nerves back home. 

Kara,

Kara

is a ER doctor. She comes with a lot of experience both in hard pacing and also accessing her runner. Kara would run the most with me, over 20 miles into the night and across Rucky Chucky; the river crossing I was dreading at mile 78. 

Lynn, is a woman on a mission. She listens to the plan, and she is ready to execute it. She sees the goal and is ready to achieve it. 

We all fit together perfectly. Not to mention, my crew were made up of good humans. I was in good hands and had so much peace in it. 

Andy and I had already been in California since Monday. We spent 2 nights enjoying Yosemite before heading to Olympic Valley where our AIRBNB was. 

Lynn and Kara got there a couple hours after us. 

From Wednesday to Friday night, we would do ALL the things that Western States had on the Itinerary and hoping it was enough to acclimate us all to the elevation. 

• WEDNESDAY: Fleet Feet expo
• THURSDAY: Shake Out run and coffee. We got to meet some running celebrities. We had a pacer meeting and got to meet more people. 
• Expo
  
  
• Trek to Watsons Monument for Flag raising and Tram ride
  
  
  
• Crewing Western States Runner meeting
• FRIDAY: Race Registration/ Race meeting

We did all the things. Met all the people. embraced every moment with fullness. 

The girls missed the expo Wednesday but they made up for it Thursday for the Shake out run. We were running with the elites, none of which I really knew but I was learning fast from Kara.

To be honest, everyone looked elite to me. I never quit smiling even though I felt so far out of my element. 

Watsons Monument

Later that evening we went back for the Trek up to Watsons Monument. I really wanted to experience this to give me a indication to what the first few miles of the race would be like. 

The four of us began out climbing. A sky endlessly blue. There was so much to see, the skyline changed every mile leaving me breathless and in extreme awe. Andy and I met the most darling couple and found ourselves talking about Jesus with sweet fellowship, like having church on the side of a mountain. 

Over 4 miles and almost 3,000 feet of climbing and the mountain horizon took what little breath I had away. 

Andy and I snuck off the trail to pray. 

We decided to take the tram back down. I WAS SOO SCARED. I am terrified of heights. 

I clutched the pole as the tram headed down. A woman looked at me confused, "If your so scared, why are you riding this?" 

SO many thoughts ran through my head...I answered it simply, "Because doing the things that scare me is how I overcome..." 

Thursday: Crewing Western States Runner. 

This was a mandatory meeting. It did not take long for me to realize how blessed I was to have a crew. 

Friday: Race Registration/ Race Meeting

I could NOT stop crying. This is where you pick up your bib and all your goodies that WSER gives you. Every volunteer greets you by your first name.

They greet you, encourage you and some of them even cry with you.

You are a someone. I was moved and blubbering in reverence to the awe of all that I had done and all that I was expected to do. 

They spoke to me as though I had already finished. 

The saw me not as I was trying to race, but I was already victorious. 

I was already unstoppable. 

I felt empowered by the enthusiasm.  

RUNDOWN:

The Fear we Overcome.  

Friday night, I get my steak dinner with my crew. I invited Joe Burns who flew out to WSER to do all the things they had to offer. Joe is the one who gifted me the raffle ticket. And I invited some new friends I met. 

In all honesty, I knew I was not going to be able to sleep. My stomach was in knots. I was wound tight with way too many feelings. But even in the two hours sleep I would get, it would be in my complete weakness I would rely on Him even more. Therefore, a sleepless night would not steal my peace. Because I had a fullness of peace. Every detail was His and He had prepared a way for me to run this race. 

Here's what I did know....

I knew that this was a gift from God. He orchestrated it all. For His Purpose. It was His design. 

He gifted me to Glorify Him. 

My running is simply a testimony for His Purpose not my praise. 

The Lord qualifies the unqualified. 

I had unwavering faith that I would finish. But I also knew this was a race to endure the long haul. 

What was clear was I still had FEARS. But my Faith gave me peace in those. It was out of my hands the journey to 100 miles. 

I was capable.

I was confident. 

I was Brave. 

I had seen myself at the finish. 

The Lord had already given me that affirmation. 

I was not scared of where I was going. The Fear was where the Lord would see me through. It was knowing it was His Will. 

I would be running in elements both foreign and painful to me.  

The Fear of the Unknown

But the Faith of a child. I knew I just had to lay it all at His feet. 

Some moments I felt empowered, but all moments I felt Grateful. 

In Peace, Not Pieces,

Anita~